• Coming Up For Air - my collaboration with Falkirk Poet Janet Crawford
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Live demo of my collaboration with Falkirk Poet Janet Crawford - uploaded on Soundcloud. 'Coming Up For Air'.

https://soundcloud.com/jim-byrne/coming-up-for-air-by-janet-crawford-jim-byrne-demo


Coming up for air
Eyes are damp from tears
Counting down from ten, nine, eight

You’re holding every hour
Together with your trust
Every day goes, one by one

Do not fear, lift  your eyes
lift them up from the ground
Trust yourself
Look around
Look around ...

Reaching out for now
It will be alright
Love and hope will, see you through

Soon the time is done
Clouds no longer drawn
The sun will burn right through

Do not fear, lift  your eyes
lift them up from the ground
Trust yourself
Look around
Look around …

Do not fear, lift  your eyes
lift them up from the ground
Trust yourself
Look around
Look around ...
Bestseller Songwriting Magic course on Udemy: https://www.udemy.com/course/songwriting-magic/?couponCode=WRITEYOURFIRSTSONG
A musician and songwriter since I was a teenager.  I am now 58.  I have co-written with Marti Pellow (Wet Wet Wet) and Carol Kidd MBE.


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« Last Edit: October 03, 2020, 10:43:19 by LePlongeur »
I like it! @JimByrne
And if I play it three times, i have the length of a short song.
This one escaped my attention at the time, I guess.

Plus I like the stripped natured of demos. Maybe this one is too stripped, I can't think of another reason for not having gotten a response.

It's a thing of hope and beauty, thats what it is. I can only hope you won't lose (loose??? - what do I know about the way you guys write) FAITH.
Greets to Janet C and kind regards to you, Gus


faith lost along the way..... typo


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Thanks Gus.

Your feedback is much appreciated. :-) it's stripped back right enough - it's my first time singing through the lyrics having just worked on them. The original words were sent to me by poet Janet Crawford.

It's my favourite right at this moment.

Jim


What a wonderfully intimate performance and recording! I absolutely love the feel of this, @JimByrne
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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Thanks.

It's nice to get positive feedback. You've both cheered me up. :-)

Keep well,
Jim


« Last Edit: October 03, 2020, 01:53:53 by Vince »
Hi @JimBlair   Usually there are sufficient submission  responses so I don't really comment because I can add nothing new to the conversation. I must admit I'm such a Philistine sometimes,  I had to google" Falkirk Poet" because I didn't know what one was. I found out it is a poet from Falkirk  ;D.

I liked the poem very much and you were able to put it to music quite nicely.  My songs are usually on the short side, and I find long songs a bit indulgent. I even find this to be true with Bob Dylan's new stuff (should I dare write that?)

There are things you can do to make it longer, if the poet doesn't mind. If you were to listen to Simon & Garfunkel's "Richard Corey" which I think is a famous poem written by somebody famous. He kind of messed with the poem though.

oops @JimByrne

To be clear that's only if you want to make it longer. I like it as it is.

 
Vince


@Vince    ... you mean @JimByrne     :D

... @JimBlair  is my neighbor!    :thumbsup:
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Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.


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Hi @JimBlair   Usually there are sufficient submission  responses so I don't really comment because I can add nothing new to the conversation. I must admit I'm such a Philistine sometimes,  I had to google" Falkirk Poet" because I didn't know what one was. I found out it is a poet from Falkirk  ;D.

I liked the poem very much and you were able to put it to music quite nicely.  My songs are usually on the short side, and I find long songs a bit indulgent. I even find this to be true with Bob Dylan's new stuff (should I dare write that?)

There are things you can do to make it longer, if the poet doesn't mind. If you were to listen to Simon & Garfunkel's "Richard Corey" which I think is a famous poem written by somebody famous. He kind of messed with the poem though.

oops @JimByrne

To be clear that's only if you want to make it longer. I like it as it is.

 

Thanks Vince,

I can't make up my mind whether to make it longer and record it more conventionally or just leave it as it is - as it seems to have something nice about it as it is. I'll have a listen to Richard Corey as you suggest.
Jim


Wow, I just love this.  The stripped back presentation of it is just perfect on a lovely poem.   Your vocals are just my cup of tea.  A real sense on emotion and yet some how soothing.

As to its length, I like it as it is.  Almost could hear in on a album as either the first of perhaps better the last song.  That said I am sure it will be great if you decide to extend it.


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Thanks David. Having it as the last song on an EP was exactly what I was thinking. Great minds think alike. :-)


Thanks David. Having it as the last song on an EP was exactly what I was thinking. Great minds think alike. :-)

Just listening to you on Soundcloud.  Amazing music, I would more than happily purchase any EP / Album you produce.  You can count yourself as having one extra fan in this world:)


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Ha, that's a dangerous promise David. You can find all my music on iTunes or Spotify or any other digital platform. I would direct you to my website but I have no physical CDs left - so sadly can't send you anything. Actually that's a lie - I do still have a few of my 'Oh My Beautiful You' CDs in plastic sleeves  - because they were made to be placed within a book. The book is called, 'Ten Writers Telling Lies'. You can read about it here: http://www.tenwriterstellinglies.com

Sadly no books left either - but as I say - I still have a few orphaned CDs.

Thanks for your positive words. :-)
Jim


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hi @JimByrne  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Awesome  :yes: :yes: :yes:, thanks for sharing this song, and these lyrics from Janet Crawford , very very nice  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

me, myself, and Pie


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hi @JimByrne  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Awesome  :yes: :yes: :yes:, thanks for sharing this song, and these lyrics from Janet Crawford , very very nice  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

You're welcome. Thanks. :-)


Ha, that's a dangerous promise David. You can find all my music on iTunes or Spotify or any other digital platform. I would direct you to my website but I have no physical CDs left - so sadly can't send you anything. Actually that's a lie - I do still have a few of my 'Oh My Beautiful You' CDs in plastic sleeves  - because they were made to be placed within a book. The book is called, 'Ten Writers Telling Lies'. You can read about it here: http://www.tenwriterstellinglies.com

Sadly no books left either - but as I say - I still have a few orphaned CDs.

Thanks for your positive words. :-)
Jim
Oh (My Beautiful You) and  Everyday is Sunshine are now in my digital possession :)   Cheers David



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