• Does anyone want these lyrics?
  • Started by Kozo
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  • Kozo
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Does anyone want these lyrics?
on: May 09, 2018, 21:00:33
"Little Girl"

---Verse---
Hey little girl, they don't love you like me
Let's run away together so you're finally free

Hey little girl, won't you give me you're love
You're a special little one but that alone ain't enough

---Chorus---
Let's run away little girl
I'll keep you safe little girl
If you just do as I say you'll be okay little girl
Dont walk away little girl
I'll make you pay little girl
Don't you know that girls like you ain't got no place in this world

---Verse---
Hey little girl, I promise, never again
But won't you help me out this one time and entertain my friend

Hey little girl, won't you come meet the guys
Yeah I told them all about you and they can't wait to try

---Chorus---
Let's run away little girl
I'll keep you safe little girl
If you just do as I say you'll be okay little girl
Dont walk away little girl
I'll make you pay little girl
Don't you know that girls like you ain't got no place in this world

---Verse---
Hey little girl, won't you cover that bruise
You know they like you pretty, don't want signs of abuse

Hey little girl, put a smile on your face
Wipe away those tears or there is hell to be paid

---Outro---
You can't escape little girl
No you're not safe little girl
You just do as I say or you will pay little girl
You're a cliché little girl
A castaway little girl
Don't you know that girls like you ain't got no place in this world


I wrote this a while ago and thought it was okay so I was wondering if anyone wants to do anything with it? I'm personally just a lyricist so I don't sing, or produce or anything like that. But if anyone wants the lyrics then they're all yours, just let me know


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Re: Does anyone want these lyrics?
Reply #1 on: May 09, 2018, 21:05:41
Hey @Kozo .....Welcome to The Kitchen. These lyrics are pretty good. i hope somebody picks them up. Check out some of the songs folks have posted and see if you hear any styles that speak to you. We are quite a diverse bunch here.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680


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Re: Does anyone want these lyrics?
Reply #2 on: May 10, 2018, 00:04:34
Hi @Kozo ,

Welcome to the Kitchen. Great to have another lyricist who only does lyrics  :)

I like these lyrics a lot. You have a talent for writing singable lines and that's rarer than you might think.

The story is rather dark, but, sadly, one that rings true. Not sure how many music writers will want to tackle something so powerful. We'll just have to see.

My only nit pick is that maybe the title is repeated a bit too much. But that's something a music writer can help judge.

Once again... welcome.

Later,
Stan
I'm a lyricist seeking music writers to work with.


Re: Does anyone want these lyrics?
Reply #3 on: May 10, 2018, 11:39:28
interesteing, welcome to the kitchen
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: Does anyone want these lyrics?
Reply #4 on: May 11, 2018, 12:26:04
Hi @Kozo
Welcome neighbor!!
We live some 6 kilometers apart, talking about me being lucky.
I like your entry very much. Starting quietly, and gradually de-railing as it were.
Very well done. What a beautiful way of storytelling.

As I joined some 5 months ago, and have a reasonable ‘flowing’ way of writing songs in Dutch, I might as well ask you one day if I can make use of one of your English ones. If you’d have me. Please check out the three songs I posted here so far to see if you trust me around you lyrics.

Welcome!
Love to have you around!
Kind regards, Gus



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