• Envious Time
  • Started by Rightly
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Envious Time
on: June 14, 2019, 15:08:28
I've been getting stuck with these lyrics.
I think I've got the music worked out now, just have to record it.
It's still in progress though and I'm hoping for a stroke genius to save it from mediocrity.

If someone can send me off n reeling with a murderous innovation I'd be appreciative.

This is the only thing I've written in almost a year.
I'll try to finish it with cubase.
This might be the time I wander off and concentrate on doing a few covers.
I feel defeated.




envious time


  fly, fly, envious time
until thy race is run out
  leaden-stepped feet will not compete
  accept defeat just for now
    fortuitous surprise has unlocked my mind
      fly, envious time
   fly, envious time

   sleep, sleep, desperate need
 smother me, safe from all harm
    oblivious friend will know me then
     release me when all is calm
    if I die before I wake, pray the Lord, my soul to take
          fly, envious time
    and please don't leave me behind, envious time

    I do only improve
  with things t'which I am inclined
     new moon, both eyes on you
 surrender to any virtue of mine
a little worse for wear n' too far gone to care
       fly, envious time
    and please don't leave me behind, envious time

            envious time





Rightly


Re: Envious Time
Reply #1 on: June 18, 2019, 13:21:33
The imagery in this is really great!

"Fly, envious time" - great lyrics and I can see how catchy that would be!


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Re: Envious Time
Reply #2 on: June 19, 2019, 16:33:23
I think these lyrics are excellent!

"Envious time" is a very hooky phrase to me. I'd be considering some sort of repetitive use of the phrase in a chorus type sections. Something like:

Envious time
Envious time
Why

Envious time
Envious time
Fly

Envious time
Envious time
Envious time
Envious time

........building into an instrumental section. Something along those lines.....

Stick with this one....I think it's  a good one.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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Re: Envious Time
Reply #3 on: June 19, 2019, 19:05:49
hi @Rightly, very nice lyrics  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::  a nice rithm / flow when just reading these lyrics
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Envious Time
Reply #4 on: June 19, 2019, 22:12:00
I think these lyrics are excellent!

"Envious time" is a very hooky phrase to me. I'd be considering some sort of repetitive use of the phrase in a chorus type sections. Something like:

Envious time
Envious time
Why

Envious time
Envious time
Fly

Envious time
Envious time
Envious time
Envious time

........building into an instrumental section. Something along those lines.....

Stick with this one....I think it's  a good one.

I can't follow this. Lol.
I like the poem form.

But thanks man.


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Re: Envious Time
Reply #5 on: June 20, 2019, 10:30:02
 :)

Yeah....I knew that was my style more than yours but it seemed like you needed to step out of the box a little so I figured...what the heck. Hey....nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

I have often seen lyrics become poetry without some sort of melody behind them from the beginning......and then heard a disconnect when they were put to music. What I have always liked about your material is that you seem to be able to present yourself in both ways at once.

I still think you should finish this one.


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Re: Envious Time
Reply #6 on: June 27, 2019, 21:46:37
:)

Yeah....I knew that was my style more than yours but it seemed like you needed to step out of the box a little so I figured...what the heck. Hey....nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

I have often seen lyrics become poetry without some sort of melody behind them from the beginning......and then heard a disconnect when they were put to music. What I have always liked about your material is that you seem to be able to present yourself in both ways at once.

I still think you should finish this one.

lol.
yes I'll finish it
I'm too far gone with it not to
it's just the mixing etc. are killing me. I need to learn to work faster without losing any precision .
Things seem to be getting more difficult. lol.


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Re: Envious Time
Reply #7 on: June 28, 2019, 15:16:38
I need to learn to work faster without losing any precision .

Hmmmmm.....I see you as a guy who can make decisions, though. For me, that's an important thing to learn about mixing......trust that initial feeling and don't grind to hard on things.


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Re: Envious Time
Reply #8 on: June 28, 2019, 21:08:45
I need to learn to work faster without losing any precision .

Hmmmmm.....I see you as a guy who can make decisions, though. For me, that's an important thing to learn about mixing......trust that initial feeling and don't grind to hard on things.

lol. I can, but rarely without a struggle.
That's what I'll do, I've a sound in my ear, I'll try to capture that and keep it simple.
Sometimes what seem to be fortunate accidents can take you off track n' leave you nowhere.



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