• Expensive habits
  • Started by LePlongeur
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
  • LePlongeur
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • In Tartiflette we trust

    • 1335


    • 323
    • Today at 10:42:46
    • Greater Amsterdam
  • more
Expensive habits
on: December 01, 2019, 17:49:33
Sometimes cheap habits are even worse than expensive habits. Please consider that when you are reading this.
As you may have guessed, I am testing the waters for my new thing: lyrics in English.
I even ordered a new guitar to go with that.
But, never mind, this one’s called:

Expensive habits

Jill smiles and winks for good measure
‘I am here to make amends
I’m destined for greater things’
And slid her hands down Lenny’s  pants

His hands lingered a bit too long
On Jill’s creamy thighs
Hands are not supposed to have brains
But Lenny’s hands thought: nice

A marriage is just like cleaning
It’s a job that’s never done
So shut up, grit your teeth and think
Of all the make up sex you’ve won

Know how you think I’m big headed
That Humble Pie must be eaten
This is about the human condition
A broken heart far from beaten

Bridge
I’ve taken some work home last night
And her name is Emily
She’s the rather ambitious type
But now she sleeping happily

chorus
Knee deep into expensive habits
You say Chanel, I say small beer
If you are bored and doing nothing
‘S OK with me, but don’t do it here

W30Oct2019

Do I hear an ode to our own Lenny? That could very well be the case. But not the beauty case. If anyone says that, I will deny every word not spoken.
Well, let’s wait what he has to say about this. He knows best, I think.
@Leonard Scaper
@everykitchener

Kind regards, Gus


  • Leonard Scaper
  • Global Moderator
  • Executive Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Guest Chef

    • 4021


    • 1149
    • Yesterday at 21:50:45
    • Terra Firma
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #1 on: December 01, 2019, 21:33:31
Well, let’s wait what he has to say about this. He knows best, I think.

No actual moral or sensitivity boundaries were crossed in the making of this lyrical tableau.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Expensive habits
Reply #2 on: December 22, 2019, 21:23:46
Quote
Knee deep into expensive habits
You say Chanel, I say small beer
If you are bored and doing nothing
‘S OK with me, but don’t do it here

@LePlongeur  your lyrical skills in English are  excellent... that chorus is a great  hook... puts the rest of the very "matter of fact" story into a  dreamy surrealistic introspection.

Looking forward to where you might take this.  :yes:


  • LePlongeur
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • In Tartiflette we trust

    • 1335


    • 323
    • Today at 10:42:46
    • Greater Amsterdam
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #3 on: December 23, 2019, 07:03:00
No matter how much I admire @Leonard Scaper , his comment was nice but very short.
So the admiration is still there, but it didn't bring me much further.
I do have developed a style of my own writing Dutch lyrics. And I realize  that the approach needs some getting used to for most Anglo Saxons and Spanish people. For me: The most beautiful flowers grow perilously close to the edge of the abyss.

I believe that if I want to better my skills writing in English, I must start doing it. And this one is the first one that sort of matches my 'target level'.  They are not all addressing these topics or non topics. My intention is to be posting the Dutch and the English version of each song in one go. To varying degrees of success I may say. Between Expensive habits and now, I've written some 50 lyrics. If I want to learn something, I need to be doing it.

So forgive me for the maybe long winded response. I'm just trying to explain why I do, what I try to do.
And Thank you very much for taking the time to read it @1roomstudio and for your time to post.
It's been a great help. Really. Thanks.
Kind regards. Gus




Re: Expensive habits
Reply #4 on: December 24, 2019, 05:44:38
@LePlongeur  .... so what is it that you are looking for with the lyrics?
Do you want advice about : word choice, lyrical flow in English, rhythmic flow, appropriateness of content ( ... no? .... :o  ...) , rhymes, something else?
 hmmm..... maybe I could be helpful somehow?
or simply sharing?
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.


  • LePlongeur
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • In Tartiflette we trust

    • 1335


    • 323
    • Today at 10:42:46
    • Greater Amsterdam
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #5 on: December 24, 2019, 10:04:58
Thanks for you offer to help.
I guess I'm spoiled. @Bill from November Sound. If I post something, there's always an answer. I hoped that these answers would give direction to my approach. And I thought that by explaining what I expected, I would send/steer the outcome too much. Cryptic?

It's about dosage and presentation. How do I present my work in such a way that I'm able to grab my freedom as much as possible without kicking more (let's say) moderate people against their shins.

I remember to have made a description of uncomfortable bowel movements, and at the same time describing the difference between English and American discomfort in a meager 46 syllables. And the reaction was a mere 2 syllables. I thought it was quite funny and arty farty (!). And you didn't.

In the time between posting Expensive habits and a week ago, I decided to use a formula that I did with Inspraakprocedure and I think I'll stick to that. For some time anyway.

And I am quite taken by 1Room's analyses of the lyrics here. That's exactly the mood I had in mind. Automatic writing in English for the first time for me.
In France, you can get away with much, as long as you mind your language. I've come to the conclusion that my songs are rather French.

I hope to achieve the same kind of fluid writing in English.
Thanks for you kind offer to help anyway.
Kind regards, Gus



  • Mo
  • Poissonier
  • *

    • 153


    • 66
    • Today at 09:42:19
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #6 on: December 24, 2019, 10:45:38
« Last Edit: December 24, 2019, 11:56:45 by Mo »
Good morning Gus,
 i read your posting even Im not sure about if it would be helpfull as for me writing in english is tricky too i want  share what i thought about this lyric.
 I remember it came soon after you presented that Sha la la Mixture...
When i read this it was to me like an extention of  Shalala Mixture... maybe I'm blind a bit but i can't see theit has it very own topic for me same  song-me Shalala Mixture  continues similar narrations . Of course an other chapter but very similar topic. Maybe thats by purpose.... i don't know ... so I waited that you would explain a bit more or see whats others think about.

ADD:
Quote
Know how you think I’m big headed
That Humble Pie must be eaten
This is about the human condition
A broken heart far from beaten

This is a point that makes a  bigger difference  to me compared to sha kal la ( sorry I know, thta both probably shouldn't be compared but it happens unconciously) .



  • LePlongeur
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • In Tartiflette we trust

    • 1335


    • 323
    • Today at 10:42:46
    • Greater Amsterdam
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #7 on: December 24, 2019, 16:11:25
Yes, @Mo you are a Sharp observer.
The ‘what do I see/how do people behave at parties’ is a recurring theme in my songs.
And in many songs I mean. And why not. Countless blues songs begin with ‘I woke up this morning’, which always struck me as rather funny. As long as the thousands of people are not ashamed to write their own blues ‘if the river was whiskey, and I was a diving duck’ (literally), I am not ashamed if my songs are clearly drink drenched and that comment on women dancing on the table.

I think that partying is far more fun than ‘She mistreated me’, ‘wish I could turn back time’ par example.

I like songs about the fun things in life. Shalala mixture, expensive habits? It’s only the beginning of the drink drink drink explosion. (The title of a song by a very talented French lady - published in NL, but removed when she moved to Denmark).

Your remarks are correct; they have the excessive fun factor in common.
And you are doing very well in English.
Kind regards, Gus
 


  • Mo
  • Poissonier
  • *

    • 153


    • 66
    • Today at 09:42:19
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #8 on: December 24, 2019, 16:56:39
I like lyrics and poems. Thank you for eplaining more and give me some more light about your intention.
As well I think nobody should be ashamed of any topics ...
I fear i wasn't really a sharp reader here. Now, after you explained I got it, were it was about it. I admit i didn't got it before that it was about 'Mistreatment'.  I read it again....
 
I wonder if the reader got that info mostly from  this part?

Quote
Jill smiles and winks for good measure
‘I am here to make amends
I’m destined for greater things’

Maybe i would ask here our native english speakesr as well.

Please aunderstand me right, mostly i blame me and my skills for this and that we shouldn't underdestimate our language barrier as rather 3 languages are involved. Entirely i like that style.....
Quote
drink drenched and that comment on women dancing on the table.
every topic could worked in detail-detail even its just a different ancle of perspective on it.


  • LePlongeur
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • In Tartiflette we trust

    • 1335


    • 323
    • Today at 10:42:46
    • Greater Amsterdam
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #9 on: December 25, 2019, 15:24:16
I can use the short cut @Mo , many use their talents to describe the perfection of nature around me and at the same time try to convince me that this is a metaphor for love and all that comes with it.

I, on the other hand, celebrate the imperfection in every human being.
And I enjoy being on the edge of what is going on. As I've said before: The most beautiful flowers grow right at the edge of the abyss.

Let's not analyze it further. Let's see where it will take us.
A very good Christmas to you and yours!
Kind regards, Gus


  • Mo
  • Poissonier
  • *

    • 153


    • 66
    • Today at 09:42:19
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #10 on: December 25, 2019, 22:11:36
Thank you very much, Gus!  :)
Merry Christmas to you you and your beloved ones also!


Re: Expensive habits
Reply #11 on: January 08, 2020, 19:53:10
Hola @LePlongeur
You know that my English is limited, however, I can perceive the crudeness of the scene ...
Real life always frightens because of her nakedness.

I think it's a very good lyric and if, for what you say, you have a great ability to write, I will be happy to read more of your things in English. My knowledge of German stays in danke and kartoffel
Mora
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


  • LePlongeur
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • In Tartiflette we trust

    • 1335


    • 323
    • Today at 10:42:46
    • Greater Amsterdam
  • more
Re: Expensive habits
Reply #12 on: January 09, 2020, 09:03:21
Hola @LePlongeur
You know that my English is limited, however, I can perceive the crudeness of the scene ...
Real life always frightens because of her nakedness.

I think it's a very good lyric and if, for what you say, you have a great ability to write, I will be happy to read more of your things in English. My knowledge of German stays in danke and kartoffel
Mora

Yes, you see, this is exactly what I want to be reckoning with.
There's a deep sentiment that would agree with you whole heartedly.  The idea of social appropriation is (in my opinion) very restricting. And I do see a gradual loosening of those limitations.

I'm thinking of writing a piece about this. And I will post it in Café, if I get around to writing it.
Thank you for reading it and mullig it over, @Mora Amaro La Loba !
Kind regards, Gus

PS My German is rotten too, since I'm Dutch. But don't worry. You didn't insult me in any way. Germans speak a very strange kind of Dutch if you ask me! (smiley)