• FIND YOUR WAY BACK
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FIND YOUR WAY BACK
on: January 18, 2016, 17:27:36
Something I've been working on for a while, any suggestion, corrections (remember, I'm just an ignorant Swede so grammar, choice of words and spelling could actually be an issue) etc are more than welcome. To me the weak link is probably the break that is new and probably needs some tweaking....
Not sure if it needs a third verse or not, I have the music worked out and it's a about 3.5 minutes so from that perspective it should be fine as is, not quit sure if it needs the third verse from a lyrics perspective.

FIND YOUR WAY BACK

VERSE 1
We're all dead
we just don't know it yet
We're all alone
in this great unknown
While we think we're in control
we're overruled by circumstance
and chance makes the final call

CHORUS
Where you were is no longer there
and where you were going
was never there in the first place
And where you are doesn't mean a thing
unless you can find your way back
the way back to your dreams
the way back to your hope

VERSE 2
We're all betrayed
by chance and by fate
We're all doomed
just like beauty and truth
While we think we're in control
we're overruled by circumstance
and chance makes the final call

CHORUS

BREAK
Stabbed in the back
by an impossible dream
deprived of our hope
by visions too extreme
stalled in our chase
by time and by age
brought to a halt
by the cold, hard fist of fate

CHORUS
Let man's petty nations tear themselves apart
My land's only borders lie around my heart


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Re: FIND YOUR WAY BACK
Reply #1 on: January 18, 2016, 17:44:41
i am just an ignorant Dutchman, but to me these lyrics all seem just very fine

very, very dark, but great lyrics, very good in my opinion
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: FIND YOUR WAY BACK
Reply #2 on: February 01, 2016, 07:35:16
Hi

I'm just an ignorant Aussie but I like the lyrics.

The only suggestion I would have in the chorus is line 3 - so as not to repeat "there" which is in line 1, maybe something like

never existed in the first place

Have you recorded it yet? I'm looking forward to hearing it - words sung are very different from how they are read.

cheers

Jurgen


Re: FIND YOUR WAY BACK
Reply #3 on: February 01, 2016, 11:49:22
Completely missed this when you posted JB...

Oh, yes, dark indeed - they work well...

Would agree with Jurgen that the replication of there in the chorus could be better - not sure if you're completely tied to the meter / need those words but if not, Jurgen's suggestion works or you could use the word "illusion" in some way...

Look forward to hearing it also..

Z


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Re: FIND YOUR WAY BACK
Reply #4 on: February 01, 2016, 12:28:47
Thanks for the feedback! Certainly worth considering...
I posted a first rough take (just first verse and chorus, now there is a middle part as well) on this in the 1+1 Competition thread looking for someone to collab with but did not get any takers so I have since started a full arrangement of it.
This one does not suite my already so-so voice at all so if anyone would like to lend me their voice I'm all ears (hint,hint)  Still in it's early phases so if anyone would like to collab he/she will have plenty of opportunities to influnce the final result ( including the key )

This is the current unmixed-untight-un-everything-very-much-work-in-progress-draft.
Never mind the "solo", I was just fooling around letting my finger go their own way to see if they could come up with some ideas of useful phrases. There are some I'll probably use but right now about 50% of the notes are wrong  ;D
Oh, and there are some draft vocal tracks in the second amd third  chorus that should not be there at all, must have forgotten to mute them  :-[

Lyrics are not 100% as written and thus the melody will be slighty different, and I've reused parts so verse 1 and 2 are identical as are the two part of "break". Just threw down a rough vocal track to guide me when working on the instrumental arrangement.

https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/find-your-way-7/s-iEgik



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