• I need your help for my new song lyrics
  • Started by Mora Amaro La Loba
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I need your help for my new song lyrics
on: September 27, 2018, 16:08:44
I am preparing a new song but this time I will begin asking for your help to achieve well my lyrics... so I will avoid saying things in English that are not correct!!!!
Thank you very much.

"Everything happens inside

I refuse to the sadness
and I look for the door of the other side
but pain is a key that everything hidden opens.

Nothing resists its push, nothing,
it even sifts the light of the sun ...

Sadness made of facts that move in memory
putting in my retina
a myriad of pale colors with a taste of salt.

And despite my smile that becomes independent,
staying on my lips with the pride of the crazy,
everything happens inside,
slowly, without haste."
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow


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Re: I need your help for my new song lyrics
Reply #1 on: September 27, 2018, 17:31:12
Hi Mora.....here are my observations:

I refuse to the sadness.......perhaps either I refuse the sadness or I refuse to bear the sadness

and I look for the door of the other side.......and I look for the door to the other side

I absolutely LOVE this line:

a myriad of pale colors with a taste of salt.


"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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Re: I need your help for my new song lyrics
Reply #2 on: September 27, 2018, 21:21:50
« Last Edit: September 27, 2018, 21:28:16 by Mora Amaro La Loba »
Hi Mora.....here are my observations:

I refuse to the sadness.......perhaps either I refuse the sadness or I refuse to bear the sadness

and I look for the door of the other side.......and I look for the door to the other side

I absolutely LOVE this line:

a myriad of pale colors with a taste of salt.

Ok, thank you very much, I find "I refuse the sadness" is Ok, and I look for the door to the other side, the same.
Do you think may be I can say "staying on my lips with the pride of the madness better than ... the pride of the crazy?
Thank you a lot in advance.


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Re: I need your help for my new song lyrics
Reply #3 on: September 27, 2018, 22:57:55
I do like madness better than crazy as it has more depth and may elicit more thought from your listeners as there is a bit of madness in all of us but  the term crazy has more negative connotations.

In fact, I think with the pride of madness (dropping the) is another very strong line.


Re: I need your help for my new song lyrics
Reply #4 on: September 27, 2018, 23:18:36
I do like madness better than crazy as it has more depth and may elicit more thought from your listeners as there is a bit of madness in all of us but  the term crazy has more negative connotations.

In fact, I think with the pride of madness (dropping the) is another very strong line.

Perfect! Many thanks again.



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