• Kingdome Come - Need help with lyrics
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Kingdome Come - Need help with lyrics
on: January 12, 2014, 01:54:13
Hello kitcheners and kitchenettes,

I'm currently working on a new song, and since I'm not super experienced at writing my own lyrics, I'd like your opinion before I go and record them.
The musical arrangement is almost complete, it's once again the words I'm struggling with... (It took me 6 months to write the lyrics  :-\ )

The song is called 'Kingdom Come' and is essentially about the flaws of human nature, our history of repeating past mistakes and our inabilty to live in peace as one people.
It is told from the point of view of a handful of survivors, after humanity has managed to almost wipe itself out in one final apocalyptic war.

I am worried that the story and the meaning of the song won't make much sense to the listener/reader, unless they know the context... What do you guys think?
I'd also appreciate some pointers about any grammatical or logical mistakes in there :)

Any help is welcome! Thanks :)


Kingdom Come

  Verse 1
Hello! Is there anyone listening?
Is there no soul left to tell how all this began?
Somewhere beneath this charred surface lies the end
Of loss, of love, of life

No sign of life on earth anywhere
Have we been here before? Tell me, who can be sure?
These ruins tell a tale of the men we were
But they were never to
Were never to survive

  Pre-Chorus / Chorus
Their fight got way out of hand
They struck their biggest match and also their last
On the remnants of these walls we see their shadows, dark and blurred
I think we just inherited the earth!

  Verse 2
Look out! Be ever so vigilant!
What's the clicking noise there on your instrument?
Was this their fate or just a coincidence?
Wrong man, wrong place, wrong time

Is it evolution who won this race?
They were not fit to inhabit this rock in space
Are we meant to succeed them and in their place
Build a world of our
Intelligent Design?

  Pre-Chorus / Chorus
It doesn't matter who's right
But who is left from this fight - There's no-one here!
We can rule this Kingdom Come and let it thrive or watch it burn
Because we just inherited the earth

  Bridge
I am covered in lies again
Be quick now, cover your eyes my friend!
Glowing neon-sign, walking advertisment
  For war
  Again
  Look for
  The same
  Mistakes

  Chorus
One question left to ask before the end: When will we learn?
After all, there is not much time
Because we just inherited the earth


Re: Kingdome Come - Need help with lyrics
Reply #1 on: January 12, 2014, 08:55:02
Hey Michael,

Good to see you putting pen to paper again :)

I like it, I think it's clear what it's about and there are some nice lines and rhymes in there.

"Is it evolution who won this race?
They were not fit to inhabit this rock in space
Are we meant to succeed them and in their place"

I really like this part, cos that's all it is really, a rock in space, great writing.

The only area I might be inclined to tweak is the bridge part "I am covered in lies again" Is this still being sung from the perspective of the "Hello, is anyone listening?" person?

Firstly, does it make sense? (I may have missed something :P) and also you repeat the word 'cover' on the next line.

Depending on how it fits, maybe try...

If we can try again
come on open your eyes my friend
It was not our time, so we can start again
  No war
  Again
  No more
  The same
  Mistakes

It's also a bit more optimistic, which can work well as a bridge when contrasting the general mood of the verses.

Just a thought, I really like it though mate, good work, can't wait to hear it :)


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Re: Kingdome Come - Need help with lyrics
Reply #2 on: January 12, 2014, 12:24:56
Hi Michael,

Here's my take - I haven't read John's reply as I don't want to be influenced by his take on your lyrics.  You can then choose to use advice that you think will best serve tour song.

I'd make the following amendments in order of how they appear in the song:

"Are there no souls left to tell how this began?"

"But they were never, never going to survive."


The first two lines of verse 2 work well but I'm not convinced but the second two.  It's apparent that the activities of mankind have led to their destruction - therefore, I'm not sure how that could be a coincidence.

"Did evolution win this race?"


"Are we meant to succeed them and in their place
Build a world of our
Intelligent Design?"

- very enjoyable section!

"They tried to prove that each was right."

I've only made minor adjustments - to my mind, they tidy the lyrics up just a little.

You've presented some great ideas here!

Hope this  helps a little!  :)



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Re: Kingdome Come - Need help with lyrics
Reply #3 on: January 12, 2014, 15:08:36
Wow, getting songwriting help from John and Paul - that's the dream   :D :D

Seriously guys, thanks so much for your help and the detailed suggestions! :)
I'll try to implement as many of them as I can !

The only area I might be inclined to tweak is the bridge part "I am covered in lies again" Is this still being sung from the perspective of the "Hello, is anyone listening?" person?

Firstly, does it make sense? (I may have missed something :P) and also you repeat the word 'cover' on the next line.
That's exactly what I meant. It makes sense in my head, but it might not for others - that's why it's tremendously helpful to get a second (or third) opinion.
It was supposed to be the narrator realizing that he's ended up on the same destructive path as his predecessors,  but I'll change it -  I like that more optimistic approach of yours.

Thank you both for taking the time :)



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