• Measure of a Man
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  • Redlady
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Measure of a Man
on: March 24, 2020, 15:29:52
Measure of a Man

© 2020 Schantell Wharton/ John Schutt

I am trying to make this have universal appeal.
Please say more than you need rhymes. How does this lyric make you feel? Do you understand my storytelling?

V1
How do you tell the measure of a man?
Some people think it’s  the car he drives
Some people think it’s  the big bank account
Some people think it’s the big house size
Did he give up his name in search of fame
Did he give up his honor for one more dollar?
How do you tell the measure of a man?
 
Chorus
The measure of a man can be told
by his friends– by the depth
of his devotion to his wife and kids
And by the lives he touches on
his journey through life
by the passion of his convictions
His playful loving side
the values he gives to others
and the legacy he leaves behind
what makes the measure of a man is
what he is inside.

V2
How do you tell the measure of a man
In his last day on earth, what does he have
As he reflects on the shortness of life
He  treasured everyday and filled it with love
Had the passion of laughter and the strength to cry
He realizes the measure of a man is
the love and legacy he leaves behind.
 
Ch--
The measure of a man can be told
by his friends– by the depth
of his devotion to his wife and kids
And by the lives he touches on
his journey through life
by the passion of his convictions
His playful loving side
the values he gives to others
and the legacy he leaves behind
what makes the measure of a man is
what he is inside.--2x fades out


  • bart
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Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #1 on: April 17, 2020, 13:00:27
Hi, I like the verses, but in my opinion, the chorus is not suitable for a pop song.
It's long and complicated, also, maybe it could be shorten and split in two part :  pre chorus then chorus

And I think

"what makes the measure of a man is
what he leaves behind"

could be a more memorable hook (at the end of the chorus)

Hope it's help


  • Redlady
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Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #2 on: April 17, 2020, 16:19:24
Hi Bart

Thank you for commenting. This is a country song. I am working on the music for this  will post  a worktape ASAP.

Sincerely
Schantell--Redlady


Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #3 on: June 18, 2020, 09:28:25
Very good.

Don't worry about trying to please everyone. The lyrics have universal appeal. I think it would work as folk country and even rap.

I think it could work as spoken word with a Morgan Freeman voice and the chorus sung.

I was talking to my nephew who is chasing the almighty dollar about the measure of a man.

Best of luck with this. Greed and materialism is epidemic.
Create!


Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #4 on: June 21, 2020, 20:42:59
Good solid song with a clear message @Redlady

I especially like that V1 is a list of questions and V2 is a list of answers.

This one line felt a bit awkward
“ And by the lives he touches on
his journey through life”

The redundancy of “lives” with “life.”

Maybe Instead?

And by the hearts he touches on
his journey through life....

And yes the sentiment fits well with Country...

Well done  ::thumb::


  • Redlady
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Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #5 on: June 22, 2020, 06:43:17
Hi

Thanks for commenting.

Schantell-Redlady


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Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #6 on: June 22, 2020, 13:10:39
Hi!

This is a beautiful message, and I like the question vs answer form. I can't really imagine how this would be set to music, but it doesn't mean that it couldn't. The only critique I have is that I did feel a little bit like someone was lecturing me. Maybe that's just because of my own insecurities as a man  ;D


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Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #7 on: June 22, 2020, 14:21:26
Hi

Thanks for commenting.

Schantell-Redlady



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