• Measure of a Man
  • Started by Redlady
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
  • Redlady
  • Vegetable Chef
  • *
  • Karma Hunter

    • 45


    • 8
    • May 22, 2020, 15:59:19
  • more
Measure of a Man
on: March 24, 2020, 15:29:52
Measure of a Man

© 2020 Schantell Wharton/ John Schutt

I am trying to make this have universal appeal.
Please say more than you need rhymes. How does this lyric make you feel? Do you understand my storytelling?

V1
How do you tell the measure of a man?
Some people think it’s  the car he drives
Some people think it’s  the big bank account
Some people think it’s the big house size
Did he give up his name in search of fame
Did he give up his honor for one more dollar?
How do you tell the measure of a man?
 
Chorus
The measure of a man can be told
by his friends– by the depth
of his devotion to his wife and kids
And by the lives he touches on
his journey through life
by the passion of his convictions
His playful loving side
the values he gives to others
and the legacy he leaves behind
what makes the measure of a man is
what he is inside.

V2
How do you tell the measure of a man
In his last day on earth, what does he have
As he reflects on the shortness of life
He  treasured everyday and filled it with love
Had the passion of laughter and the strength to cry
He realizes the measure of a man is
the love and legacy he leaves behind.
 
Ch--
The measure of a man can be told
by his friends– by the depth
of his devotion to his wife and kids
And by the lives he touches on
his journey through life
by the passion of his convictions
His playful loving side
the values he gives to others
and the legacy he leaves behind
what makes the measure of a man is
what he is inside.--2x fades out


  • bart
  • Saucier
  • *

    • 15


    • 12
    • April 18, 2020, 19:47:09
    • Nice France
  • more
Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #1 on: April 17, 2020, 13:00:27
Hi, I like the verses, but in my opinion, the chorus is not suitable for a pop song.
It's long and complicated, also, maybe it could be shorten and split in two part :  pre chorus then chorus

And I think

"what makes the measure of a man is
what he leaves behind"

could be a more memorable hook (at the end of the chorus)

Hope it's help


  • Redlady
  • Vegetable Chef
  • *
  • Karma Hunter

    • 45


    • 8
    • May 22, 2020, 15:59:19
  • more
Re: Measure of a Man
Reply #2 on: April 17, 2020, 16:19:24
Hi Bart

Thank you for commenting. This is a country song. I am working on the music for this  will post  a worktape ASAP.

Sincerely
Schantell--Redlady



xx
A Man I Cannot Be

Started by Timothy Smith on Songs for review

15 Replies
951 Views
Last post January 14, 2019, 15:24:29
by Timothy Smith
xx
Little Man

Started by EvanC1992 on Songs for review

13 Replies
920 Views
Last post May 19, 2016, 14:34:58
by CrystalSuzy
xx
Recognise The Man

Started by Wicked Deeds on Songs for review

8 Replies
682 Views
Last post January 18, 2014, 13:43:49
by Wicked Deeds
xx
what a brave man.....

Started by Dutchbeat on The kitchen café

1 Replies
626 Views
Last post October 17, 2015, 11:38:13
by digger72
xx
Hey Man

Started by nagne on Songs for review

14 Replies
1372 Views
Last post February 16, 2016, 08:21:36
by Newland