• My Only You - from the workbench
  • Started by Klaus Rysoe
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  • Klaus Rysoe
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My Only You - from the workbench
on: December 23, 2021, 14:49:53
« Last Edit: December 25, 2021, 15:41:37 by Klaus Rysoe »
Between all of the more classical work, I'm busy on at the moment I'm working on this song written for my wife and she don't know.
The evening We celebrate that we have been married for 50 years the song will be performed by me and my band.
First of all, I'm looking for feedback on the lyrics as English is not my first language. but of cause, if you have any feedback on the composition as well you are more than welcome.
Thanks in advance for your support
/ Klaus

SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/klaus-rysoe/my-only-you?si=094182dd6a6046399671c5367b03f950&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Lyrics:

V1)
Silence
nighttime
the moon is shining
in the sky
as a pearly gate
between the stars
where the fallen angels fly
where they fly….

CH)
All the time - and
All the years
with you my friend
with fun and tiers
days with time
to pray and hope

Days to laugh and
days to cray
days with wine
to make us high
days to sing a song
for those who are lost

when skies are gray
around the globe
you make me smile
you make me hope
for an endless life
with you
My only you

V2)
Darling - my sweetheart
fifty years for you and me
take my hand and let us say
we will enjoy it all the way
until the day
we fade away





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Re: My Only You - from the workbench
Reply #1 on: December 30, 2021, 04:28:02
Hi @Klaus Rysoe
Looks great to me!
Congratulations, 50 years is quite an accomplishment!

I only see a few things that you might want to adjust:

1. typo ... "tiers" should be "tears"

2.
Quote
with you my friend
with fun and tiers

"through fun and tears" would probably work better.

3. 
Quote
Darling - my sweetheart
fifty years for you and me
take my hand and let us say
we will enjoy it all the way

Here it sounds as though you are reflecting on the accomplishment of fifty years so
" we will enjoy it all the way"  probably should be " we enjoyed it all the way" .... for past tense  " we've enjoyed it all the way" or even "we enjoy it all the way" 
 
??? 

Up to you, though. It kind of works either way. 

Nice work!  :thumbsup:
I'm Bill and I'm just a normal guy.


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Re: My Only You - from the workbench
Reply #2 on: December 30, 2021, 17:19:44
yes
these are fine, romantic lyrics
wow 50 years.
I've no idea if congratulations are in order, as far as I know
you might both be extremely pleasant to have around.

I enjoyed reading through the lyrics and I hope you get to post an audio recording when it's ready.

All the best to you n' yours!