• Polizeiabsperrung
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Polizeiabsperrung
on: January 15, 2020, 10:35:59
I donít even know if the poem-form hickeldy pickledy is known or practiced in Germany.
If not, from today it is. Or at least I tried.

Itís called Polizeiabsperrung.

Nach 500 meter
Betreten verboten
Es gibt ein verbrechen
Ein absperband

Rot weiŖ, rot weiŖ, rot weiŖ
Polizeiabsperrung
Viele fotografen
BenŁtz deine verstand

Iíve made mistakes with the very tricky higher case, lower case system in the German language.
I believe verstand to be higher case but I can never be sure.
So, itís like a balloon, given itís freedom.

The only rule I break is that of accentuation where the poetry is concerned. But hey, iím not even sure about that when just talking.
I hope you enjoy it as much reading as I did enjoy making it.
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Polizeiabsperrung
Reply #1 on: January 15, 2020, 13:56:19
Hey Gus @LePlongeur .......I did a Google translate to English. How close is this to what you were feeling?

After 500 meters
Do Not Enter
There is a crime
A barrier tape

Red white, red white, red white
Police cordon
Many photographers
Use your mind

I like it. In very few words it invites many questions through clear imagery.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: Polizeiabsperrung
Reply #2 on: January 15, 2020, 14:20:52
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: i like it @LePlongeur
 :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes:
me, myself, and Pie


Re: Polizeiabsperrung
Reply #3 on: January 15, 2020, 15:02:08
Interesting lyrics I want to add more to it.  Describe the imagery.  I think the red-white, red-white would make for a nice chorus.


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Re: Polizeiabsperrung
Reply #4 on: January 15, 2020, 17:50:48
Yes @Leonard Scaper
Thatís the spirit.
And thatís why I am hooked on this form of poetry.
I have to tell the whole story in either 46 or 48 syllables. And, at the same time leave some things to the imagination of the reader or listener. Once itís set to music.
Just for the sake of the Łbung, I didnít use a translator thingy.
And itís German by the way. Not Dutch.

@ProgRockDan
You can use my version. Say what you want to do with it and do it in 6 months. Otherwise itís blocked forever and I donít want that. Speaking from experience alas.

If you would like to use Leonardís, you ask his permission please.
I like this. Some do crosswords, I like doing this.
Thanks to you both.
Kind regards, Gus



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Re: Polizeiabsperrung
Reply #5 on: January 15, 2020, 21:22:51
Gutes Bild herr Gus @LePlongeur   !
and intruiging to knwo that @ProgRockDan  will add to it.
Possibly music like Faust, or Neu! or Can - could be used?
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: Polizeiabsperrung
Reply #6 on: January 16, 2020, 06:35:36
Gutes Bild herr Gus @LePlongeur   !
and intruiging to knwo that @ProgRockDan  will add to it.
Possibly music like Faust, or Neu! or Can - could be used?

Thank you, @oorlab !
@ProgRockDan :
Sorry, I wasnít clear enough in my explanation.
If you want to use my German poem, ask for it and Iíll give it to you. Then it is yours and you will have six months to turn it into something. Anything. Donít ask my ok because itís yours.
If you havenít used it after six months, itís mine again.
But if you use it and it harvests royalties, the doughís yours.
Kind regards, Gus


Re: Polizeiabsperrung
Reply #7 on: January 16, 2020, 16:38:05
Thank you for the clarification.  Let me review your lyrics.  I suspect I will take you up on the offer in the near future. :D


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Re: Polizeiabsperrung
Reply #8 on: January 17, 2020, 11:26:49
« Last Edit: January 17, 2020, 12:40:12 by Mo »
Oh thats highly interesting, Gus!
I LOVE this style also and excercise me in that as well even i prefer rythm of three and  three lines/ verses instead just two. A personal taste...

So cool you test yourself within different languages.
especially try german to me is the master discipline, when it comes to SING the lyrics.
I'm curious how it will sound... how you plan it it will sound!! Please tell me ;)

The very contemporary content you brought sharp to the point  with letting space to fill some gaps with own fantasy as my pre talkers already mentioned. I just struggle with the last line 'benutz dein Verstand'
First scenery came in mind when accidents happend and the 'Gaffers" piles up and handicap the work of police and doctors etc by just standibg there and gaze.
'Gaffen' ist a german slang word what means 'gazing without able to watch away'....and nowerdays doing clips for social medias with phones because its THAT event in their life maybe....
However... you didn't wrote about an accident, where drivers of the traffic  would need to use their mind to just simply continue driving their way, what may  is a hard task in that moment...and often they are causing another accident because they 'hard gaze'.....
In your case it is a crime.... that doesn't fit to my image LOL

Not sure if my words makes any  sense it was just what comes in my mind.

Edit:
I just want mention, that my fantasy was lured somehow on  a wrong track probably and i can't figured out when ecactly it' happend but i blame myself to have been misingterpreted  the last line.,  i got my final imagery from.