• Waking the Dragon (folk-punk-rock hybrid?)
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Waking the Dragon (folk-punk-rock hybrid?)
on: March 29, 2019, 16:32:58
« Last Edit: March 30, 2019, 18:31:51 by DonMar »
Donít be alarmed. This isnít typical of my lyrics.  ;) Occasionally my Muse goes a little crazy, and hurls these things at me. I hear it as a kind of folk-punk-rock hybrid. What do you think? In any case, with intense music and a strong, interesting melody. Probably male vocals.

(As a side-note: For lovers of dragons, I agree that the bad reputation attributed to these creatures is unfair. ;) Theyíre considered by some to be guides, instructors, and guardians of the human soul.)

Iíd welcome a collaboration (music/vocals), but first want to make sure the lyric stands up to scrutiny. Any rough edges that you feel need polishing?

Thanks!

Donna

Waking the Dragon

V1
The dragonís uncurling
Unfurling its tail
The worst of my dreams
Is about to unwind
Iíve prodded too often
And left a clear trail
Of secrets and longings behind

V2
The dragonís awaking
And making it known
Its presence will soon
Be too great to ignore
Iíve kicked it too often
And tempted my fate
While knowing what might lie in store

Bridge
Waking the dragon
A risk that Iíll take
A new road to follow 
A poison to swallow
A journey Iím destined to make

V3
The dragonís beginning
And winning my soul
My path to damnation
Is soon to unfold
The scales will start growing
To cover my heart
And tales of my sins will be told
Honour the earth. Without It, we'd be nowhere. - D.D.


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Re: Waking the Dragon (folk-punk-rock hybrid?)
Reply #1 on: April 07, 2019, 12:54:29
Hi, Iíd say itís ready to compose a melody for now and you might tweak a phrase or too at that stage. I notice no chorus! They arenít mandatory of course and Iím one to talk (always breaking Ďthe rulesí ) but it feels like you could make a great chorus just repeating the hook a few times; waking the dragon.
Good lyrics.
G
valar morghulis
GTB


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Re: Waking the Dragon (folk-punk-rock hybrid?)
Reply #2 on: April 07, 2019, 19:50:57
« Last Edit: April 25, 2019, 22:43:36 by DonMar »
@GTB, thank you for taking the time to read this, and for your nice comment.

As regards a chorus - I used the AABA format (a classical theatrical form) intentionally because I wanted the bridge to be centre-stage. ;)  But of course if a collaborator wanted to take 'waking the dragon' and repeat it a few times, that would be fine.
 
Good suggestion. ;)

Donna


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Re: Waking the Dragon (folk-punk-rock hybrid?)
Reply #3 on: April 07, 2019, 21:17:28
You definitely have a way with words.....like the way you use worst and unwind and rhyming beginning in the middle of the next line with winning. Subtle things like that can really add depth to a set of lyrics.

Hope somebody takes this song further.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Waking the Dragon (folk-punk-rock hybrid?)
Reply #4 on: April 24, 2019, 17:17:48
« Last Edit: April 24, 2019, 17:25:16 by Mora Amaro La Loba »
Hi @DonMar

Well, well, what do I have here? A story, and what a story full of own battles disguised with the skin of the dragon of dreams.
You say that you usually do not make lyrics of this style ... Well, I've enjoyed your style a lot, a lot. Congratulations for your good taste and for your beautiful emotional intelligence.
The trouble with this is that your story has been the water that has awakened in me a creature with a voice similar to yours ... Would I be a copycat?

Given my limitations with English I can not help you with your lyrics but I can enjoy.  ::thumb::
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


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Re: Waking the Dragon (folk-punk-rock hybrid?)
Reply #5 on: April 25, 2019, 12:49:15
« Last Edit: April 25, 2019, 13:17:11 by DonMar »
Thanks, @Leonard Scaper. :)

Thank you too, @Mora Amaro La Loba. Indeed, I believe all of us harbour a dragon close to our core.  ;)
And given that every positive has a negative, perhaps it guards the treasures that can be used for good or for ill.  8)

Donna



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