Creative writing

I might have mentioned that I'm doing a degree...   In fact, I'm about to finish a degree, and my final module is called Advanced Creative Writing...so unsurprisingly, it involves writing stories (in prose, drama and poetry).

Anyway, I thought I'd share my latest creation, as my wife says I should share it more.  I hope you enjoy! 

EDIT: By the way, it's only 2,600 word so won't take long to read...and I should have put this on the "Other Arts" board. 

Hey @Jim ,

That was a very pleasant read, thanks a lot for sharing. I admit I had to look quite a few words up, but it was definitely worth it.
You'll have to write a sequel, because I desperately want to know more about this changed world. Does Sledgehammer still exist? What do Tony Levin and David Rhodes do? And what about the WOMAD festivals? I've got tons of questions...

Cheers,
Mark

Hey @Jim , I was very curious about what you created so I took some time. And yes, this IS creative!
It contains your wittiness, out-of-the-box thinking and excellent writing. I'm not the best reader (and because of a slight language barrier and different contexts we're living in I missed some of the witty parts for sure) but if it was for me you've earned your degree 'met vlag en wimpel' (now you go and study some Dutch haha).

What I loved so much is that I 'think' I get to know you a bit better when reading, although Bob is an imaginary character of course. But somehow I envisioned you when reading about Bob.
I laughed out loud reading this one:
'If he travels back with it on the ground as it is, it could materialise inside his car and damage his legs.'
A sort-of check Relault Trafic's didn't exist in 1974 ;-)
But who's that guy Collins, Bob's talking about all the time? 

Well done, I enjoyed the read my friend, thanks for sharing.
I really think this piece of art deserves to live in the 'Other arts' section indeed, do you want me to move this topic there?

Cheers!
 

Hey @Jim ,

That was a very pleasant read, thanks a lot for sharing. I admit I had to look quite a few words up, but it was definitely worth it.
You'll have to write a sequel, because I desperately want to know more about this changed world. Does Sledgehammer still exist? What do Tony Levin and David Rhodes do? And what about the WOMAD festivals? I've got tons of questions...

Cheers,
Mark

Thank you @Mark Luto    Glad you liked it.  Everyone wants me to write a sequel it appears...   As for your questions, I imagined Sledgehammer existing but in a much more Genesis-y style, and Gabriel still creates WOMAD, because in the initial synopsis (shared elsewhere) I describe him as "The WOMAD King". 

Hey @Jim , I was very curious about what you created so I took some time. And yes, this IS creative!
It contains your wittiness, out-of-the-box thinking and excellent writing. I'm not the best reader (and because of a slight language barrier and different contexts we're living in I missed some of the witty parts for sure) but if it was for me you've earned your degree 'met vlag en wimpel' (now you go and study some Dutch haha).

What I loved so much is that I 'think' I get to know you a bit better when reading, although Bob is an imaginary character of course. But somehow I envisioned you when reading about Bob.
I laughed out loud reading this one:
'If he travels back with it on the ground as it is, it could materialise inside his car and damage his legs.'
A sort-of check Relault Trafic's didn't exist in 1974 ;-)
But who's that guy Collins, Bob's talking about all the time? 

Well done, I enjoyed the read my friend, thanks for sharing.
I really think this piece of art deserves to live in the 'Other arts' section indeed, do you want me to move this topic there?

Cheers!
 

Thanks for taking the time @Mar T. I appreciate it! 

Well these characters are extensions of the author so it's not that surprising that Bob and I aren't entirely dissimilar.  I think you might have not realised that the van doesn't travel with the machine, so when it 'drops a few feet', that's the machine landing on the ground after the van isn't there (a hour before). 

And yes please, can we move it? 

Hey @Jim , I've moved it!

'I think you might have not realised that the van doesn't travel with the machine, so when it 'drops a few feet', that's the machine landing on the ground after the van isn't there (a hour before).'
Yes I completely realized that the car wasn't on that location back then in 1974, but I also realized that the model didn't exist back then, hence my reply..

People, when you love reading and have a spare moment, I recommend giving this read a try.. I'm sure you'll be surprised!

Hey @Jim , I've moved it!

'I think you might have not realised that the van doesn't travel with the machine, so when it 'drops a few feet', that's the machine landing on the ground after the van isn't there (a hour before).'
Yes I completely realized that the car wasn't on that location back then in 1974, but I also realized that the model didn't exist back then, hence my reply..

People, when you love reading and have a spare moment, I recommend giving this read a try.. I'm sure you'll be surprised!

Hi @Mar T., thanks for the move and also for the recommend! 

I guess people are busy, etc., (downloads=4) but it doesn't matter.

I'm still confused about your van and 1974 though...the van stays firmly in the present day...that's the problem when Bob needs to return there. 

I definately got that @Jim , I found that really funny!!

This is really very good. I just saw the thread.......

I love the way you have mixed the mundane with the fanciful. I also like how you quickly developed the relationship with lines like...

‘It’s a temporal dimension manip– um, a time machine’, he says with a smile.
   ‘Oh, Bob!  I’m about to start the spuds.’

and.....

‘Is this your temporary dementia thingy?’
   ‘It’s a temporAL...um, yes.’

Very cool plot......you have definitely left me wanting the next installment.

I have done some writing myself...actually have three completed short (50K words) novels, so I definitely appreciate good writing like this.

Thanks for posting it.

Wow, thank you @Leonard Scaper! 

That's really good to hear, especially as you have writing experience too!  (Anything published?)

You hit the nail on the head when you say mixed the mundane with the fanciful...that's one of my calling cards, if you like.  By the time we get to be "advanced" creative writers we're supposed to be achieving an "authorly voice", although I was doing the same thing a couple of years ago when I did the first creative writing course so I don't know, especially when I read some of the stuff written by my course peers. 

Thank you for taking the time to read it. 

Thanks for clearing things up @Mar T., I think we just got our wires crossed. 

@Jim .....never got published but I did shop some short stories. That's how I know I am a real author....I got a bunch of letters back that said "Dear Author, thank you for submitting your work. Unfortunately, it is not what we are looking for at this time."



I'll be looking for more of your work.

ha that was a very nice read  @Jim

i wonder what happened, how the world changed because of Phil not being the front man of genesis anymore......yes, this needs a sequel or further chapters 

Just in case anyone has missed this one, here it is again... Nice creative writing work from our fellow mod @Jim !
(Download in the first post (here: https://www.songwriter-forum-kitchen.com/forum/other-arts/24/creative-writing/2878/msg31622#msg31622 ))

Cheers,

Thank you so much @Mar T., that's very kind of you! 

And thank you too @Dutchbeat 

Sorry for not replying earlier, been in a bit of funk recently, various reasons really...I'll be more present soon, I'm sure.   

A bit late to comment, but I have just read your story @Jim . Very quirky and 'English' in its use of humour and irony. The mood and characterisation, plus all the geekiness reminded me a bit of Wallace and Gromit. I also thought about the nuclear holocaust play, 'When The Wind Blows' by Raymond Briggs, which of course also deals with amazing and dramatic happenings against the backdrop of the every day and the mundane. I love it that you've decided you can sort out your time machine with a few extra bits from the local hardware store.

Also cool it has a musical theme. More fiction should, I think. Well at least it is apt for us here in the kitchen.

Anyway thanks I enjoyed it - and hope it is one day the start of a novel I can buy and read! 

Hi @MichaelA

Thank you so much! 

Glad you liked, and yes I think your observations are right on the money...only it's not me bodging together a time machine, it's our Bob. 

My wife keeps nagging me to write the novel on the back of this, so maybe one day you'll get your wish!