Songwriters in the Kitchen!
Board index => Songs for review => Topic started by: realkevm on July 20, 2018, 12:57:57
-
Hi everyone, here's a rehearsal version of what i'm hoping to be my next single release towards the end of the year, If you would be so kind to have a short watch and listen and please let me know what you think. Any thoughts on structure or well anything would nbe really appreciated. As ever my voice is a work in progress, i'm well aware i'm not very good at singing lol
Lyrics
Here I am just trying to say
Everything that's come my way
And here I am still trying to do
Everything away from you
God only knows how long i've been waiting
For you to say to me
And God only knows how long i've been waiting
For you to set me free
Chorus
I can fly with these broken wings
I can touch my shattered dreams
I can climb high above
What ever I do is just enough
https://youtu.be/fF0X_jtcKT4
-
I think you have a good start with this one. You are staying true to your style. I like the cadence of that first verse and how you take it into the chorus.
Your voice is unique and that is a very good thing. These songs are yours and it is your voice that helps to make them that so sing with feeling and don't get hung up on perceived quality.
:) :) :)
-
i'd like to hear w/o capo.
-
I think you have a good start with this one. You are staying true to your style. I like the cadence of that first verse and how you take it into the chorus.
Your voice is unique and that is a very good thing. These songs are yours and it is your voice that helps to make them that so sing with feeling and don't get hung up on perceived quality.
:) :) :)
Thank you sir! Really encouraging words :)
-
i'd like to hear w/o capo.
The song was written without a capo and the chords so sound better but i've had to use a capo on 2 to fit my voice really.
-
Don't know if the way you look a bit angry has anything to do with the music.
I'll try and better your weekend:
Hull 4 - London 0*
Kind regards, Gus
*The Housemartins
-
I kind of have a resting 'pissed off' face lol i'm happy on the inside I promise :)
You have bettered my weekend anyway with that The Housemartins reference :)
-
Well i've tweaked the lyrics and been toying with playing this in a different key, hoping it suits my voice a bit better. Please let me know what you think and if i'm going in the right direction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9siclrz3cCc
-
Hi Kevin,
Musically no issues here because you play that guitar just great!!!.
Vocally there are some very serious issues. Vocally these issues can be fixed with a decent vocal coach 100% in just a few lessons. Here imo is where the problem lies for you...
I have said this to you on many many other websites/forums yet you ignore that advice continually. :(
That is your choice to do so Kevin BUT until you address your off pitch vocal tone to every new song that you post online nothing will ever change for you.
I can clearly hear your potential and passion for music 100% BUT can you or will you ever hear my SOUND advice given to you Kevin and then apply it???
Johnny :)
-
I do hear it mate, i'm starting vocal lessons towards the end of the month, i'm well aware of my awful voice lol thanks for watching man I do appreciate it
-
I listened to your WIP recording....see what you mean about that "pissed off" face. It actually serves to accentuate your performance. ;)
While i agree with @Johnnyuk that your vocals are your weak point and could be improved upon, I stand hard behind my previous statement that your vocals have a very unique character just as they are and that character adds weight to your performances.
Some folks will never be mellifluous singers no matter how much vocal coaching they get. I, for one, have not let that stop me from singing my songs....nor did folks like Tom Waits and (dare I say it) Bob Dylan. (I said it).
Always seek to improve to make your music more listenable but never give up just because of a perceived lack of quality. Our flaws are what make us all different and uniqueness is a big deal in this music game.
8)
-
Hi Kevin, your voice is not awful at all. The tone is there and the timing is right there 100%! You really do have a voice Kevin. It just needs a vocal tutor to get you to understand your vocal pitch to get YOU in tune to whatever song you write about. once that happens you will be flying Kevin!
Johnny :)
-
Thanks so much guys really encouraging :)
-
Hi Kevin,
Take those vocal lessons and you will get stronger and stronger.
Johnny :)
-
I knocked out a new version of this when I was recording something else this morning, would love to know what you guys think
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wHdzQPB6b4
-
Nice job @realkevm . :)
It sounds like the vocal pitch is improved on the verse in this version. I like the chorus on this song as well. It's a pretty nice hook.
- 11 ::Note::
-
Cheers Bill. That piano video you made me has really really helped me in understanding pitch and how to find a melody. I know i've a way to go but even I can see an improvement with my vocals. Thank you so much.
-
Hey @realkevm , thanks for sharing! Takes some courage to record a 1+1 live WITH video footage!
I like the way you play the guitar, and the words are beautiful.
Imo there are 2 pointers I can give you to:
-The meter. The song sounds like a 4/4 , but I can hear some skipped measures, which makes it a bit hard to keep track for me.
-The singing style. It is definately recognisable and gives you (as a performer) a unique style. I'd work on singing the notes better in tune, and mastering control of your emotion while singing.
I hope that helps!!
Again, thanks for sharing and I hope you'll collect some valuable tips from us kitcheners!
Cheers,
Mar T
:mart:
-
Thanks for checking it out dude, sound advice aswell. A couple of things for me to focus on :)
-
As long as you promise me you'll keep doing what you do @realkevm , I'm sure we'll be amazed what we hear from your camp next year. Was glad to be of help!!
-
You've got the right idea. Keep moving that capo down..
I like the chorus. What is probably most impressive about it is that the first three lines of the chorus are in 7/8, and the last in 4/4. I think you dropped a beat somewhere in one of them, but otherwise it's pretty consistent. Gonna have to learn how to use a drum machine if you don't already know how.
-
I liked your song because of the lyrics and the way you sing it, "without net" as we say in Spanish. Your voice, as @Leonard Scaper says, is truly original.
Happy New Year.
-
You've got the right idea. Keep moving that capo down..
I like the chorus. What is probably most impressive about it is that the first three lines of the chorus are in 7/8, and the last in 4/4. I think you dropped a beat somewhere in one of them, but otherwise it's pretty consistent. Gonna have to learn how to use a drum machine if you don't already know how.
ha yes! took me a while to figure out about changing the key to try and suit my voice, I am a bit dim sometimes lol Timing has never been a strong suit of mine, I really appreciate you taking the time to listen and to point this out to me, something to work on here, thank you :)
-
I liked your song because of the lyrics and the way you sing it, "without net" as we say in Spanish. Your voice, as @Leonard Scaper says, is truly original.
Happy New Year.
Mucho gracias Mora, thanks for checking it out :)