how damaging can backpatting be?

We seem to use the term "backpatting" a lot lately....and i am sure our opinions on this differ, but i just wondered, how damaging can backpatting really can be....

where is that fine line being sincerely encouraging people on efforts to make a song from scratch, and the oh so very dreaded "backpatting" 

i am asking this, because i notice that i don't mind receiving backpats myself once in a while.....do others have the same experience???....

So for discussion purposes: is backpatting really as dangerous and unhealthy as smoking?  And should it be forbidden all together???  Or: can it be a civilized sort of politeness... like smiling to strangers, when there was no joke or conversation, or saying: have a nice day....to people you really don't know...

i know, i am on very dangerous territory here....but i thought i might as well come out of the closet with admitting that i am severly struggling with this question lately   

even worse: could it be possible that some of us would have stopped songwriting if no backpatting would have exsisted....think about it

*edit*, oh i see i have an option to make a poll, wow, i will try that

It's hard you know

Because you get to know people and you care about them so you don't want to hurt their feelings

And you need to apply musical tastes as well - we all like certain things and not others

It surprises me as a whole ( and I am just as guilty ) that we don't comment more on lyrics , chord structures , melody - i.e. The essential components of song writing

But we comment more on a drum pattern or instrument being too high or low

It's a hard one DB 

One karma point for the discussion though 

Hi,

I don't think it's harmful - i see it as praising the bits you like. The thing for me is that music is very much about personal taste so one person's bad thing is another's good.
Some people like highly polished stuff, others like it with rough edges. There is music i listen to that my wife doesn't even consider music, and there is stuff she listens to which to me is just middle of the road dross.
So when reviewing songs i always try to find the bits i think are good - even if i don't like the particular song. Is this back patting? I think not, i merely think it is me saying "that works well."
There are songs posted in the forum which people rave about and i have no idea why - not because they are in anyway technically bad, but because they don't appeal to me. But, what would be the point of me saying - don't like that because it sounds MOR?
Okay, if someone is badly out of tune (singing or guitar) - i may flag it up, but  i would still look for a positive. I don't be the one who puts a comment who crushes someone's dreams. Nor would i be the one to blow hot air up someones's jacksy.
Honesty and a fair amount of empathy - that's the road i choose.

Cheers,

Digger

I struggle with this one myself and agree with everything that's been said so far. Since the 'incident' on TONES forum, I'm bit shy of reviewing songs now   because I'm afraid I might be found guilty of the dreaded "backpatting"    I don't feel qualified to go through a song with a fine toothed comb when it comes to chord structure etc.  but I do know how it makes me feel and whether it's something I would listen to more than once...and if I praise a song it's certainly not to get brownie points I've heard other's talk about forums they've been on that almost killed they're desire to ever write again, because they are so brutal  I think both TONES and this forum have a nice balance, so if ain't broke, it don't need fix'n although I do agree with kafla...maybe when reviewing a song, it would be good to break it down into specific categories related to songwriting...lyrics, melody, chord structure, arrangement etc and critique production only if asked to  CS

I tend to have pretty strong opinions and if I like something or I think a particular member is really talented, I'll say so. On the other hand, if certain things about a performance aren't so good, I'll say so but I try and refrain from saying things like "all your songs sound the same" or "You're voice is awful" because these are personal things which don't help the performer at all. Positive remarks are better than negative and it's easy to crush somebody's confidence especially if they are just starting.