• A Man I Cannot Be
  • Started by Timothy Smith
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
A Man I Cannot Be
on: December 27, 2018, 14:26:35

Posted in the song challenge area about misunderstandings.
Pop song about a man who can't reveal his true feelings. I scanned plugins while three hours into this mix and my DAW closed down. I lost everything and had to start over.

I couldn't exactly rebuild the original so I started over. The new version is a bit darker sounding . Not quite as light as the original but similar.

https://soundcloud.com/starise/a-man-i-cannot-be




  • Dutchbeat
  • MADministrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • If you can stand the Beat, get into the Kitchen!

    • 8270


    • 1390
    • Today at 20:18:59
  • more
Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #1 on: December 27, 2018, 18:05:13
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: @Timothy Smith , a great entry for the misunderstanding songwriting challenge  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

sounds very good to me  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: :pompom: :pompom: :pompom:
me, myself, and Pie


  • Leonard Scaper
  • Global Moderator
  • Executive Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Guest Chef

    • 3284


    • 1100
    • Today at 20:37:04
    • Terra Firma
  • more
Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #2 on: December 27, 2018, 21:43:09
This is a really strong theme. I like how the music and the vocals imply distance, almost as if the admissions are coming from someplace high up and seemingly impregnable.

"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


  • MrBouzouki
  • Global Moderator
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • *
  • "Let the Creators Create" :-)

    • 1098


    • 506
    • Today at 11:47:39
    • Sheffield, UK
    • https://www.facebook.com/Mr.Bouzouki.Music/ https://www.youtube.com/user/MisterBouzouki https://soundcloud.com/mrbouzouki
  • more
Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #3 on: December 28, 2018, 09:56:58
The use of a classical organ sound against a modern beat, coupled with strings sounds original to me and you should consider exploring this combo of sounds again.  I must admit I am so paranoid about losing stuff I do really regular backups as I'm working. But If this is a bit darker than the original then I think it helped your entry in the challenge.
"Love and Life is all about connections"


  • Marcus Nalgaber



    • 0
Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #4 on: December 28, 2018, 15:17:19
I like that strange spirit that comes out of this music
I find her brave and at the same time beautiful
Congratulations


Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #5 on: December 28, 2018, 20:40:09
The song has a very particular sound, the organ always takes me to other times ...
I also liked the ethereal of some parts. Curious song, sometimes it seems like a dream, because of the sound and the mix of ambients.
Feliz Año Nuevo
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #6 on: December 28, 2018, 21:19:28
I gave more movement to the mix using synths, actually changed it up a bit. I didn't change the words. To hear the changes you might need to reload your browser in SC since it somethimes keeps the old mix in a cache.

No matter what I do I can't like my vocals. This one has been fighting me all the way. I'll hopefully be able to retake the vox before the contest deadline.
This is the modified mix with the crappy vox still in it. I like the new arrangwement though compared to the old one.

https://soundcloud.com/starise/a-man-i-cannot-be


 @ Dutchbeat, Thank you kindly for your comments.

@Leonard Scraper, Thank you! I am attempting to bring the vox up more in the mix. Some songs are easier than others for me. I always fight pop mixes.
Not sure why. Maybe because pretty much everything in a pop song is somehow contrived. I'm always trying to make something sound like something else. I've been working mostly with more concrete instruments. With pop there are so many things I can do, or try to do.

@Mr Bouzouki, Thank you! for your comments! It was like everything clicked on that first mix. A 3 hour investment lost. Maybe some of my frustration is coming out in this one. My intention was to have a pop organ sound. I didn't want a real organ sound. Something not quite. It's a mangled organ. I used automation to contort it some and give it a different kind of vibe...or at least I tried to do that.

@Marcus Nalgaber. Thank you for your comments. Strage music from a strange spirit maybe...?

@Poissonier, Thank you for listening. I appreciate your comments!


  • robertkc
  • Poissonier
  • *
  • Karma Hunter

    • 201


    • 55
    • March 01, 2019, 01:21:58
    • Vancouver Island
    • https://soundcloud.com/user-564042721
  • more
Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #7 on: December 29, 2018, 01:21:41
@Timothy Smith     I also like your original mix of  the organ with pop electronics. Strong melody .The vocal sounds fine to me  ( we all squirm and react with horror to the sound of our  own voices, don`t we?) . I wasn`t sure about the volume of some  of the doubled parts - perhaps too close to the lead.

Robert

 


Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #8 on: December 29, 2018, 02:28:41
@Timothy Smith     I also like your original mix of  the organ with pop electronics. Strong melody .The vocal sounds fine to me  ( we all squirm and react with horror to the sound of our  own voices, don`t we?) . I wasn`t sure about the volume of some  of the doubled parts - perhaps too close to the lead.

Robert

Thank you Robert. Not sure when you listened. I re took my voice and am much happier with it now. I don't know what I conjured to sing it.  It came  from me somewhere. My goal was to sing it with some feeling. It might sound odd to others. We do what we love I guess. I remember reading a post here where someone stated they they seldom listen to only music with no lyrics.  I have done much of that. One positive is it carries across all language barriers. I have had  French and other non English speakers  tell me they like it.  As soon as I add lyrics  it alienates large segments of people who don't understand it.  It takes all kinds to make the world go around.


Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #9 on: December 31, 2018, 22:54:08
Really good pop song, you've got a strong voice.


Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #10 on: January 01, 2019, 14:03:15
Thank you for listening! I appreciate your comments.


Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #11 on: January 03, 2019, 01:32:55
Dang @Timothy Smith  … this is cool. It's so surprising …. I don't know why, really.

1. You don't sing any way I expected your voice to sound. ( That's not a bad thing)

2. What kind of pop is this? ( again not a bad thing ... my mind is blown....) I'm trying to fit it into a year or sound of another group. Buckshot Lefonque maybe? IDK  I love that "jazz-ish" / "classical - ish"  coolness .... but then the vocal style is different.

3. The organ playing and other keys just out there. ( again not a bad thing)

4. That interlude ..... wow.

All that to say. Respect. Good show!

-11 ::Note::
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.


  • oorlab
  • Chef de Partie
  • *
  • savoir vivre

    • 782


    • 314
    • March 19, 2019, 00:09:14
    • netherlands
    • https://twitter.com/oorlab https://soundcloud.com/oorlab
  • more
Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #12 on: January 06, 2019, 23:21:48
Really enjoyed the vocals @Timothy Smith  - definitely soulful, bit of Simply Red - heartfelt and clear diction.
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #13 on: January 07, 2019, 16:56:06
Dang @Timothy Smith  … this is cool. It's so surprising …. I don't know why, really.

1. You don't sing any way I expected your voice to sound. ( That's not a bad thing)

2. What kind of pop is this? ( again not a bad thing ... my mind is blown....) I'm trying to fit it into a year or sound of another group. Buckshot Lefonque maybe? IDK  I love that "jazz-ish" / "classical - ish"  coolness .... but then the vocal style is different.

3. The organ playing and other keys just out there. ( again not a bad thing)

4. That interlude ..... wow.

All that to say. Respect. Good show!

-11 ::Note::

To be honest I can make my voice sound different in different circumstances which is a bit odd I guess. I usually sing much smoother than this normally, but I felt this called for some grit so I called up some spirit from my southern roots.

I'm not sure what kind of pop it really is. My motive was to shoot for something maybe 80's since the 80's is my closest reference to that "sound" of pop. I'm sure it doesn't sound completely like that though due to me being me.

The organ, yes I think I hear what you're saying. I intentionally tried to make it out there. It might be out there too far now. :)

Well....thank you for that last comment! The song didn't get great reviews everywhere. I posted it on another site and they were very critical. That's good too since it helps me to improve.

@oorlab
Thank you for your comments!


  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6299


    • 1648
    • Today at 19:13:11
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: A Man I Cannot Be
Reply #14 on: January 14, 2019, 00:49:15
Yep @Timothy Smith , I guess there's a lot of misunderstandings in the falling in love area!! Well executed, very nice use of electronic instruments and I love your singing voice!!
Good luck in the challenge!!
Cheers!
Mar T.
:mart:



xx
Little Man

Started by EvanC1992 on Songs for review

13 Replies
538 Views
Last post May 19, 2016, 14:34:58
by CrystalSuzy
xx
Recognise The Man

Started by Wicked Deeds on Songs for review

8 Replies
400 Views
Last post January 18, 2014, 13:43:49
by Wicked Deeds
xx
what a brave man.....

Started by Dutchbeat on Life

1 Replies
420 Views
Last post October 17, 2015, 11:38:13
by digger72
xx
rocket man

Started by Dutchbeat on Lyrics

4 Replies
414 Views
Last post September 26, 2017, 23:17:19
by MrBouzouki
xx
Hey Man

Started by nagne on Songs for review

14 Replies
863 Views
Last post February 16, 2016, 08:21:36
by Newland