• A new song! Play With Fire
  • Started by JoannaWildWood
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A new song! Play With Fire
on: December 30, 2019, 19:12:17
« Last Edit: December 30, 2019, 19:36:26 by JoannaWildWood »
Hey everyone!

Hereís a song of mine Iíve written called Play With Fire.
Itís about one of my ex-friends. We had a fallout, and since she likes to trash anyone who isnít her friend anymore, she decided to send her group to harass me all over social media and accuse me of stealing her ex-boyfriend.

Itís an acoustic demo because I couldnít find anyone to produce it yet. I also wrote it in 20 minutes so Iím not sure of some parts. Let me know what you guys think!!!

Lyrics:

[verse 1]:
Word in the street, youíre in too deep to know how to keep a friend
You polish lies and sharpen knives on your way to make amends
You donít know how to get around
Without putting someone else down
canít you see, youíre the perfect view of misery

[chours]:
Donít play with fire
You donít wanna be a victim now
To a flame you started out
I know youíre tired
Of things not going your way
What a shame
So donít play with fire

[verse 2]:
Word Ďround the town you love to run your mouth and twist shit to build your case
You carve the past then unleash your pack to defend your twisted ways
All of your fallouts
Donít pass by unannounced
And to me, youíre the perfect view of misery

[chours]:
Donít play with fire
You donít wanna be a victim now
To a flame you started out
I know youíre tired
Of things not going your way
What a shame
So donít play with fire

[bridge]:
Oh no, watch for the girl in the dress sheís distressed she might go and steal your man
Itís been told, Iím a slut, and I put up with a lot but I never try to bite the hand
That feeds me, It ainít easy
To betray a friend
But you wouldnít know. Am I wrong?

[chours]:
Donít play with fire
You donít wanna be a victim now
To a flame you started out
I know youíre tired
Of things not going your way
What a shame
So donít play with fire
Donít play with fire
Donít play with fire

[outro]:
Canít you see? Youíre the perfect view of misery.


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Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #1 on: December 30, 2019, 19:23:47
Hi @JoannaWildWood ,

Welcome to the Kitchen

thanks for joining

but...i can not play the attachment in your post, do you perhaps also have a link to the music via a music streaming platform like Soundcloud?

anyway, grab a kitchen chair and make yourself at home  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
me, myself, and Pie


Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #2 on: December 30, 2019, 19:37:53
@Dutchbeat hey!
Thanks for saying so, itís so kind of you.
I actually donít have it posted anywhere but I just re-uploaded it and it should work now!


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Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #3 on: December 30, 2019, 23:03:25
Hey @JoannaWildWood ....good tune! A lot going on lyrically and that works really well with the way you have the song structured and your energetic performance.

Am I wrong? ....love that delivery!!

Good demo. It'll make for a seriously good production if you get the chance to really flesh it out.

Welcome to The Kitchen! take a look around at some of the other threads....you might find even more inspiration.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #4 on: December 30, 2019, 23:43:42
Hey @Leonard Scaper
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to the song! I really appreciate everything you said!
I kinda want the song to be mainstream, so I was worried that the lyrics are too heavy to be enjoyed or for the song to be a lead single.
Thank you again for stopping by!!


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Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #5 on: December 31, 2019, 14:34:55
I kinda want the song to be mainstream, so I was worried that the lyrics are too heavy to be enjoyed or for the song to be a lead single.

So I gave the tune a second listen with your goal in mind and I still think it works. I haven't written much mainstream type music over the years....ok, so I have not written any.......but I have listened to my share and, in most cases, it seems that lyrical content is not really the most important part of those productions. I'll have to pull up some Gaga stuff and see what those lyrics read like.

I know that @monty_lameer is a big Gaga fan......maybe she'll chime in on this. Gaga is mainstream, right?

When you get this song into the studio you'll be  concentrating on making the song jump and the lyrics will not be as important as how you sing them. I think it would be cool, though, to have a song like this where the lyrics do have something to say. It would be a bonus for your listeners who pay close enough attention.

 8)


Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #6 on: December 31, 2019, 18:04:33
Hi @JoannaWildWood  ,

Welcome to the kitchen! Youíre certainly endowed with the talent of expressing yourself through words and music! :) I really like your style and energy. I love the way you built up the track lyric-wise and melody-wise. You made use of an interesting combination of contrasting verses, some of which are jam-packed with words while others containing pauses and extended vowels, which work nicely together.

With its fast-paced rhythm and the significant number of words per line, I gather that this is not an easy song to sing. In general I felt your singing was good, there were parts which sound better than others, while others (particularly closer to the end of the song) can be brushed up a little more and with time and a bit more practice I think could sound even better. I feel that your voice really suits this song style and itís great that you sing very clearly bringing out each and every word (even at the fast-paced bits), helping the listener to relate to your message. Your style brings to mind a combination of early Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne.

Thanks for sharing your song with us.
I encourage you to keep on writing as youíre really great at it! :)
Looking forward to your next song!
Rachel
Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #7 on: January 01, 2020, 03:54:29
@Leonard Scaper
Thank you so much for doing so, itís so kind of you!
Iím glad you think so, I guess the next step is to find a producer!


Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #8 on: January 01, 2020, 03:58:36
@Rachel_D itís so sweet of you to listen to my song and take the time to write this, I really appreciate it!
Thanks for all the kind things you said!
Yeah I also think the bridge needs a little working on so Iím trying to do that at the moment.
I also get that early Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne comment a lot, I donít know if thatís a good thing or if it means my music is out of date or if it got real potential haha, but thank you for stating so!!!


Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #9 on: January 01, 2020, 07:53:08
I also get that early Taylor Swift and Avril Lavigne comment a lot, I donít know if thatís a good thing or if it means my music is out of date or if it got real potential haha, but thank you for stating so!!!

@JoannaWildWood - I meant that in a good way :) - great potential! :)


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Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #10 on: January 01, 2020, 18:06:05
Welcome to our little songwriters corner on the internet @JoannaWildWood  - Your song Play with Fire sounds good to me. Vocals in tune - interesting full stops, tempo fits well.
 My tip would be to diversify the chords, from the intro to the verse, or after the drop - I hear some Eagle Eye Cherry  "Tomorrow i'll be gone" (which in itself as a good thing, because that is a great song).
Hoping to hear more from your quarters.
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #11 on: January 01, 2020, 20:12:47
i also hear that eagle eye cherry in the chords @oorlab mentions

but it is a great song @JoannaWildWood  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:  and you have a very good passion and attitude in delivery, nice nice vocals going full out  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::


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Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #12 on: January 03, 2020, 01:56:13
Welcome to the kitchen @JoannaWildWood and what a great way to introduce yourself with this song.

Great lyrics, really strong and heartfelt and really well sung, especially the chorus.

Really enjoyed this song - I'm not into any mainstream at all so  can't comment on whether this is a good fit or not but it's a really good song.

cheers


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Re: A new song! Play With Fire
Reply #13 on: January 05, 2020, 13:27:51
« Last Edit: January 05, 2020, 13:31:26 by LePlongeur »
I have to be stern with you.
Yes, I like your song very much.
Compliments compliments.

(Do I hear a BUT coming?)
Yes, there's a but.

If you ask for help it's very important you have figured out beforehand
- what goal you want to reach
- what you'd like the finished song to sound like
- what budget you want to allocate to your first born
and, more in general, do you want to get back at your former friend so fiercely.
This is all very important for you to have some say in the outcome. Otherwise everybody involved will climb his hobby horse or produce with his purse/wallet.

Check the contract side of this adventure. If you don't they have you sign anything and (Like John Fogerty - CCR) they will have you working for a few cents for the coming 45 years. While they cash and keep their Fantasy* afloat on your dough.

But artistically most important of all: What do you have in mind  for your second one? If the first is succesful you will lack the time to find out. And you're at the mercy of managers, YouTubbers etc., each with his own reasons to know it all better than you.

*does this sound like a record label maybe? I really don't know. A Fantasy is a Fantasy right?

To end on a positive note: Congrats with your first one @JoannaWildWood .
Kind regards from a non-native speaker, so read through you eye lashes please, Gus



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