• "A Slow Decline"
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"A Slow Decline"
on: July 31, 2017, 03:12:44
« Last Edit: August 01, 2017, 15:48:45 by Mr Sydney »
Got just a little bit introspective this weekend and played with some new toys.


https://soundcloud.com/user-482925652/a-slow-decline

A Slow Decline

Cat’s got your tongue, words stick in your throat
You had so much to say, now I guess that’s all she wrote
You’re so out of tune, like an old E string
Finding no redemption in the songs you sing

We’ve all been there, from time to time
Gravity draws you closer to a slow decline

A creation hand, like so few can claim
Is silenced by a demon you cannot name
Colors fade, you stand resigned
To see the world around you as though you’re blind

We’ve all been there, from time to time
Gravity draws you closer to a slow decline

The risk of love, you no longer believe
Faith was lost when he tore the heart from off your sleeve
The eternal flame that burned and grew
Extinguished by the breath that proved untrue


Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #1 on: July 31, 2017, 14:43:08
Man, you are sounding SO good! Your vocals are right there in a perfect space.

I am unsure about that electric guitar (?) that comes in at 1:37, however. maybe if you got it out of the center it would work better.

Great song as well......excellent lyrics. I love this little gem:

You’re so out of tune, like an old B string

"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #2 on: July 31, 2017, 14:48:22
nice subtle song. I like the electric guitar, may be lower it or pan it to place it better.
Around 2.36 there is something odd in the bass.
The melody could be made longer there, like reaching of the chord change.
Stay on it!
new guitar 4-6-2020 https://soundcloud.com/oorlab/12string-demo1 12string Cort.


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #3 on: July 31, 2017, 15:05:51
« Last Edit: July 31, 2017, 15:10:59 by Mr Sydney »
@Leonard Scaper @oorlab

Thanks to both of you.  Got new Studio One software and new midi keyboard (a REALLY new experience). Gotta find some time to learn more about both. This was my weekend of trying to write, play and learn. Hopefully things get better as we plod along. :)

I have SO much listening to do as well...sorry everyone...I'm NOT ignoring you!


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #4 on: July 31, 2017, 19:34:00
Nice job @Mr Sydney.

An interesting picking pattern at the beginning that seems quite upbeat but somehow works with the introspective lyrics.
Not sure about the change at about 0:49. It sounds a bit clunky? The change at 1:36 sounds much smoother.
I'm not quite sure the electric guitar (1.37 - 2:01) adds anything to the song. It doesn't seem to fit somehow ????

I love the line "Gravity draws you closer to a slow decline". You have a way with words ;-)

"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #5 on: August 01, 2017, 11:24:44
A very classic structure to a good old fashioned introspective song (in a good way!) that could have come out of anytime since the 60s. Well I actually like your new midi toys that come in around the middle bit, as they add a surprising lift and retain the listener's interest. Similarly I was hoping you'd do something similar with the end bit - and then you did! Well sung and played, I think you are going to enjoy your new toys myself!  ;)
If you like novels with a musical theme, why not try 'Sixth Beatle - When Music Changed The World', easily found on Amazon and Google. It is amazing, although as the author I may be biased!


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #6 on: August 01, 2017, 14:39:04
@MrBouzouki  Thanks Mr B!  Can't dispute the comment on the early change, as you may have read my posts in the past, I just don't have the "stick to it" to get things perfect...as usual with me, that was Take 2. I spent more time playing with the new midi keyboard thingy and with the new Studio One software.  I'm so used to sitting around a living room, barn, or kitchen just playing that I'm just now thinking about "quality control".  Promise, things will get better.

@MichaelA   Thanks for the kinds words. We'll see where this midi thing takes me. I'm trying NOT to get too techno, but I do see where some backing helps my songs. My brother suggested I sweeten the bass a bit and make it brighter. His skill in the studio blows me away. I mix on computer speakers and I confess to missing the $$$$$ Tannoy speakers I had in the production studio where I used to work.


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #7 on: August 01, 2017, 15:40:13
Hi @Mr Sydney , that is very nice (and very sad...)

::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: very nice to hear you are some things on keyboard now as well

sounds good, i like the lyrics like this line: You’re so out of tune, like an old B string
(but why the B-string?  ;D ;D ;D ;D, why not the E-string? i mean highest string may get most out of tune... ;D ;D ;D)

the singing melody reminded me a bit of Mr. Blue from Yazoo, especially the verses

 ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::great job!  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

me, myself, and Pie


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #8 on: August 01, 2017, 15:48:14
@Dutchbeat   Thanks for the nice words!  I had a good laugh about the B string! If you listen closely I'm actually SINGING  "E" string!  I wrote B, but as I was singing it I thought the same as YOU....the E string makes more sense, I just changed the lyrics!

Thanks again!


Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #9 on: August 01, 2017, 17:59:03
Hi @Mr Sydney

very nice song and also very well produced. If you want any suggestions what to do further with your new software and midi keyboard, I would add another acoustic guitar with high notes and patterns and pan to the right, and play the piano one octave higher (pan to the left).

Singing is great already.

Best,

Fabian


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #10 on: August 02, 2017, 02:29:33
Very nice @Mr Sydney - the title itself is a strong one and the words did it justice.

Your voice and guitar sound really good but I wasn't sure about the keyboards - for me, the playing on each beat makes it sound artificial in some way.

But that's a minor criticism of a very good song.

cheers
 


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #11 on: August 02, 2017, 03:07:28
@junemay   Excellent feedback, as I progress on well, everything I will certainly try to produce with more effort and hopefully better results. Meanwhile, YOUR music blows me away.

@Jurgen  thanks for the very kind review. As for the keyboard playing, I confess that what you hear is literally the very first time I've ever played a note on a keyboard. Check back in oh, 30 years and I just might show improvement.


Thanks again to you both.


Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #12 on: August 05, 2017, 21:27:39
Hi @Mr Sydney

good to hear that you found the feedback helpful and even more happy to read that you might light our new CD ;-) - you made my day!

All the best,

Fabian


Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #13 on: August 07, 2017, 19:36:34
It's good to hear a nice folk tune every once in a while. Nice work  ::thumb::  ::thumb::


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Re: "A Slow Decline"
Reply #14 on: August 08, 2017, 16:29:58
@Introverse77   Thanks! Yeah, born and bread in a folk-singer-songwriter groove...just an age thing I guess.



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