a song that needs lyrics.... help?

not sure if this should go in collaborations or here.

but i think my fave song and melody that i’ve written is this track.
https://soundcloud.com/blackbauble/the-great-balloon-song

i have tried several times over more than a decade to come up with lyrics, but they never seem to do justice to the emotion of the melody.

anyone think they can give me a nudge?
or be my hal  david, (not that i’m burt bacharach!)

ignore the title, it’s a working title.  hope you like the track

(i’m hoping no one says “oh this is a famous melody from a show tune” or some such because it does feel very familiar and rolled out of my head very easily!)

louisa

Lots of potential with this one.

Can you come up with a word or two that might describe the feeling that springs forth from the emotion of the melody when you hear it?

great thread @lu77  i hope someone can help you to get you started on the lyrics, propose lyrics

this could be a job for @DonMar, a lyricist from Canada who lives in the netherlands at the moment (i believe)
or for @smajor, he writes many lyrics with othersongwriters


Great tune @lu77    in fact the lyricless singing... works very well also in my opinion 

would also be nice, in my mind, if you have a drumbeat kicking in halfway the track

anyway....kitcheneers, kitchenettes and kitchenistas....help @lu77  out with the lyrics ...i can not write lyrics at all, but many others out here are pretty good at it

btw we could make this into a Kitchen songwriting challenge.... 
that contestants have to come up with a lyrical idea for this tune ...and @lu77 , gets to pick the winner? (in stead of having a voting poll about it)

anyway, thanks for sharing  @lu77
and sorry for my rambling 

good question!

VERSE
to me the verse is appreciative and hopeful and happy -  lofty! like an air balloon! (here’s all these good thing, let’s hope this continues, things are great)

PRE CHORUS
then the line just before the chorus suggests reaching for something just beyond grasp (but just imagine if we.. wouldn’t that be good?), and then reaching again and succeeding (just imagine, let’s try it... yes you’ll come with me? hooray)

CHORUS
and the chorus is... aspirational (if we could, maybe we will) moving to, joyful..(life would be perfect, we’d be together forever) like the air balloon has taken off and you’re seeing incredible vistas and overcome with emotion, and want to make declarations of love!

then the whole cycle starts again.

I feel like it’d be the best pub song or karaoke song if the lyrics were right... like a footy song! “we’ll always triumph, never a downfall, we always get up we can face anything”

maybe i just don’t have the experiences to draw from, maybe it’s about proposing to someone and spending their lives together...

or maybe it’s about an octopuses garden in the shade!

i’d feel sad if it were a challenge and lots of people didn’t get picked, but anyone interested of course i’d be happy to share credits and find a way to get it studio recorded... beyond me singing into my phone!

Fruitful sketch.

here are some thoughts:

here comes the balloon
a-drift on the trade wind,
signing off on gravity
will we ever get back?

@Dutchbeat - good idea to make it a challenge and change the voting procedure into a one-person jury.

We're floating above the clouds
We're floating above the clouds
Don't ever look down
Don't ever look down

Take me away
Take me away

Take me away

Until we reach the ground
We're on the ground

i see that my balloon imagery has infected you!

i did find that description process of what each part of the song felt like really helpful, it might even help me find a breakthrough with the song,

i especially like the way  realkevm’s lyrics fit strongly with the chorus syllables and a lack of fear to repeat a line which i think suits this song’s style!

louisa

of course talking about it made me want to have a go too so i had another effort last night on a completely left of field topic - my dad who passed four years ago. the problem is for such a universal tune/melody i don’t know how relatable the lyrics are nor do they have that sing along gusto...

VERSE 1
 it’s always tough between just you and me
And now you’re gone
I know that you
Wanted much more
I know i’m
not what you thought
You dreamed of more

CHORUS
it’s just the three of us
no one can divide us
Mum me and you
And the dogs too

Im never happier
Knowing i’ve got you there
here in my heart
never apart

VERSE 2
I might not be
the best kid on the block
oh how I tried
You worked hard
for us all
With  your charm
everyone falls
But few get through your walls

CHORUS
Each night I dream of you
And of course mum too
And both the dogs
On our laps like logs

Im never happier
Knowing i’ve got you there
here in my heart
never apart

the problem is for such a universal tune/melody i don’t know how relatable the lyrics are nor do they have that sing along gusto...

All that may be true to a point.....but these are very good lyrics. If you think they don't fit this one you could work  up another melody for them.

the problem is for such a universal tune/melody i don’t know how relatable the lyrics are nor do they have that sing along gusto...

All that may be true to a point.....but these are very good lyrics. If you think they don't fit this one you could work  up another melody for them.

that’s kind that you like the lyrics, i think there are some strong moments in there.

i find it very hard to write about dad, there’s so much to say,  more like an essay than lyrics.

hi @lu77 , it is good to see that you seem to start conquering your lyrics writing block on this song....

i agree with @Leonard Scaper , these are some great lyrics 

go for it! 

ya know @Dutchbeat  ?  .. I was almost thinking this could be a kitchen challenge to come up with lyrics for this song ...... but then @lu77 had to go and ruin it with these:

AWESOME LYRICS!!!!
You go @lu77 !!! This song is going to be great! 

oh, sorry

thanks for the compliments everyone....

still not so sure myself.

An interesting thread and lots of good stuff already posted here which I won't add to.

One thing I wondered about if you are stuck for lyrics is the combination of changing from guitar to say keyboards and  / or slowing down the tempo a bit ?

I've sometimes got a melody and been stuck for words, changed instruments or tempo and something has appeared for me lyrically.  Sometimes we can get so attached to one an idea we can't take a look at it from another direction.

It is worth saying you lyrics come across very strongly. I think you have written a different song here though.

agreed the challenge is still on... writing lyrics that match the tone of the music....