• Again (First Demo)
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Again (First Demo)
on: November 04, 2019, 12:47:33
Hi guys i'm looking for some critique on this new song of mine. I wrote the music last week and finished the lyrics a couple of days ago. It's a first demo so work needs to be done on phrasing and the production isn't top notch. Please let me know what you think to the lyrics and the song itself and any advice and suggestions would be really appreciated.



WHY DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN ON ME

CANíT YOU SEE IíVE GOT NO MONEY

HOW CAN IT CATCH UP WITH ME

DONíT YOU KNOW IíM STILL RUNNING

FROM EVERYTHING I DID I SAID

WHEN IíM IN YOUR ARMS AND BED

AWAY FROM THIS MIND SOMETIMES

FROM THE THINGS I LEFT BEHIND



MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE SAID

WE WOULD STILL BE FRIENDS

COS WE WONíT

HAVE THIS MOMENT AGAIN

AND WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

THAT REFUSAL COULD OFFEND

COS WE WONíT

HAVE THIS MOMENT AGAIN



I CAN FEEL THE PRESSURE BUILDING

THE WEATHER IS ABOUT TO SET IN

ITíS COLD ALONE WITH NO SOUL

ITíS TIME TO LET YOU GO OH

AND IíM UP HERE THE ONE AND ONLY

YOU KNOW I CANíT EVER FEEL  LONELY

BUT YOUíRE NOT HERE BY MY SIDE

NOWHERE TO RUN NO PLACE TO HIDE



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Re: Again (First Demo)
Reply #1 on: November 04, 2019, 17:20:08
I think this song has massive potential. I love where the electric guitar has taken your music in general and the way you play these parts in this song really works.

You definitely need to work on the timing of your vocals to get your delivery in sync with your playing but you'll get that down. You'll also need to work out where you put your voice in the mix. It's a bit trickier mixing with two strong electric guitar parts than with just an acoustic guitar, right?
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: Again (First Demo)
Reply #2 on: November 05, 2019, 09:07:13
Thanks @Leonard Scaper I noticed that the vocals were out of time with the music, i'm guilty of rushing out a demo due to my usual impatience and excitement :) It sure is harder to record electric guitar parts especially when it's a quieter verse and loud chorus! Thank you for the feedback mate


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Re: Again (First Demo)
Reply #3 on: November 05, 2019, 09:35:20
I wouldn't worry @realkevm .
It's almost biblical.
At first there was nothing. Then The Real Kev came; plugged in and there was a song.
Now's the time to think what you want to do with it.

If you want to develop it further, I would take @Leonard Scaper's advice at heart.

If your unmistakenable drive and lack of patience drives you further, write another one.
Your scrapbook ideas don't bore me.
Go Go Go Keffie.
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Again (First Demo)
Reply #4 on: November 06, 2019, 18:30:41
Hi @LePlongeur Wow thank you man. I guess i'll polish this one up a little.


Re: Again (First Demo)
Reply #5 on: November 07, 2019, 00:11:14
I like this heavier side of @realkevm . Couldn`t put my thoughts on this demo better than @LePlongeur ..."The Real Kev came; plugged in and there was a song."
If this were mine I`d need some basic drum/bass track in there to get the vocal phrasing thing down- whether you keep them later or not.
I`m betting you`ll nail this and we`ll hear a very good song & performance soon :ok: :ok:

Robert


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Re: Again (First Demo)
Reply #6 on: November 07, 2019, 20:27:25
Cheers @robertkc I really appreciate it man. I'm very humbled. I wish I had done am ore in time demo before putting it out. I'm going to do a newer version sometime because I think it can sound a lot better.



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