• Alon Sharon - Miss You
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Alon Sharon - Miss You
on: February 08, 2020, 12:22:10
Hey everybody,

My name is Alon Sharon

I am a music producer/songwriter based in Tel Aviv, Israel. I wrote a ballad on my guitar and would like to get some feedback on it.

https://soundcloud.com/alonsharon/alon-sharon-miss-you

Lyrics:

Verse 1:

There's nothing else to say when it's all gone
Just the emptiness you feel when it's too late
Your'e the only one I ever loved more than myself
Just Remember this as time will go away

Pre Chorus + Chorus:

And you, I just want to lay my body next to you
Your'e gone and now I feel it too
I miss you, I miss you

Verse 2:

If you ever walked away from me, I couldn't be free
It's just who we are
There's so much I want to say, But I can't right now
It's just How I am

Pre Chorus + Chorus:

And you, I just want to lay my body next to you
Your'e gone and now I feel it too
I miss you, I miss you

Thanks in Advance!


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Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #1 on: February 08, 2020, 14:12:20
Welcome, @alan sharon, thank you for joining the Kitchen!   :pompom: :pompom: :pompom:

I will listen to your music tonight

thanks for joining
me, myself, and Pie


Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #2 on: February 08, 2020, 19:42:10
Welcome @alonsharon  beautiful song beautifully sung and played  :praise:

You will like it here... plenty of kindred spirits... enjoy 😎


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Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #3 on: February 08, 2020, 20:09:16
That's sounds good @alonsharon  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: great song and recording  ::thumb::


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Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #4 on: February 08, 2020, 21:14:47
Great song @alonsharon ....and a really nice, clear production. Nice work on the way you fade your vocals into the strings and REALLY good harmonies. VERY cool use of autotune at the end there.

Welcome to The Kitchen!!!! Take a look around at some of the other threads and I'm sure you'll find some things that resonate with you
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

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Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #5 on: February 08, 2020, 23:41:40
Thank you guys!

I appreciate the feedback and very happy you enjoyed the song :)

one thing that bothers me - for you native English speakers out there: is it correct to say the phrase "If you ever walked away from me, I couldn't be free"?

Someone told me that it doesn't make much sense. Should I correct it to "Wouldn't"  or can I leave it be?

Thank you!


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Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #6 on: February 08, 2020, 23:54:02
Thank you guys!

I appreciate the feedback and very happy you enjoyed the song :)

one thing that bothers me - for you native English speakers out there: is it correct to say the phrase "If you ever walked away from me, I couldn't be free"?

Someone told me that it doesn't make much sense. Should I correct it to "Wouldn't"  or can I leave it be?

Thank you!

It's fine the way you have it. Replacing it with 'wouldn't' would slightly change the meaning.

If you ever walked away from me, I couldn't be free - I just can't be free, as in, it is not possible through sheer restriction.

If you ever walked away from me, I wouldn't be free - As a result of you walking away from me, it follows then, that I am not free.
Find updates on my travels and music on http://steemit.com/@montycashmusic


Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #7 on: February 09, 2020, 01:24:14
@alonsharon I sometimes had the feeling that I was listening to Ralph McTell meeting Ed Sheeran, the class A Team walking the Streets of London. I think it is a very nice song and well played, one in a tradition of songs. I quite enjoyed listening to it.
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #8 on: February 09, 2020, 16:06:20
Hola @alonsharon

You are welcome!!

I liked very much your song, it's very nice and fresh. The general ambiance is very good, the guitars sound fine as well as your voice.
 ::thumb::

Mora
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Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #9 on: February 10, 2020, 13:03:50
@alonsharon great little track, I really like the thunderous bass when it comes in, you can really feel it - it almost sounds like a pitched bass drop.  I thought it was really cool when you pushed the vocals back in the mix using reverb and filtering.

On a side note, I think the song suffers from over-compression and limiting as there isn't much there for dynamics, and it gets a little strenuous on the ears after 30 seconds, especially for this genre, maybe save that hard limiting for the chorus to give our ears a break. 

Great work though! 


Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #10 on: February 10, 2020, 17:47:03
@alonsharon - Welcome to the kitchen!
This song is really beautifully made :) I like the guitar and the lyrics.

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https://.com/rachel_debattista


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Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #11 on: February 11, 2020, 10:05:36
I listened with much pleasure to your song @alonsharon
A song with all those little surprises or small surprises. Iíll never get to grips with that.
These are the subtleties in a language that is not my mums.

If you donít mind me sharing my thoughts about Daraís remarks?
I think personally that the gain on the mic is too high or that the mic is giving too much signal for the input to handle.
It is perilously close to clipping.

If you have a chance to lower the sensitivity of the input, the sound will improve a lot and you have more dynamics at your disposal.

If I may assume that you check your eggs before using, here is a warm welcome from someone who does too.
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Alon Sharon - Miss You
Reply #12 on: February 12, 2020, 03:54:54
Welcome @alonsharon !

Very nice song.

As others have mentioned, the way you fade/move the vocals into the background is great.

The voals as a whole don't seem very warm but I'm sure your voice has warmth to it so could well be the compression or other factors mentioned by @Dara and @LePlongeur .

But as I say, a very nice song, I enjoyed it.

cheers



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