• Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
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Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
on: April 25, 2019, 08:50:56
https://soundcloud.com/oorlab/arrow-of-time

@smajor  kindly offered his splendid lyrics called Arrow of Time. After some tryouts I chose a simple setup - acoustic guitars,violin and basic piano.
Comments welcome

The Arrow Of Time

What was once broken comes together with enormous precision
brought into being by a world of hidden information,
the expanse of far flung imagination...
straight to the bulls-eye... the flight of the arrow of time.

I looked up from the street and saw a man hanging
from the window of an apartment three stories above.
As I watched, the faces of two women appeared...
That's when I learned something about the nature of love.

I'm living within an illusion of the senses
observing the flight of the arrow of time

There's a force from behind that's pushing me forward;
it's the nature of meaning I don't understand.
Once I had the shattered pieces of a favorite cup;
time reversed itself and the cup was whole in my hand.

I'm living within an illusion of the senses
observing the flight of the arrow of time

What was once broken comes together with enormous precision
brought into being by a world of hidden information,
the expanse of far flung imagination...
straight to the bulls-eye... the flight of the arrow of time.
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #1 on: April 25, 2019, 12:44:59
well arranged song
The violin is lovely.
Lyrics are freely poetic.

Still the production could be clearer.
Maybe if each part would be recorded separately.
Certainly enjoyable as it is though.


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #2 on: April 25, 2019, 13:16:56
I really like your production choices.

Good lyrics from @smajor  and you do a good job with them. It can be difficult performing lyrics that you did not write and were not necessarily written to a distinct musical concept.  ;)
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #3 on: April 25, 2019, 14:19:27
@oorlab I think the idea for the song is very good, and speaking of signatures, you definitely have one. What bothers me a bit about this particular song is that it feels as if the lyric has lines that are a little too long for the musical phrases, making them run out of breath a bit. Possibly you might chop them up in shorter bits (without damaging the lyric), to make them fit better.
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #4 on: April 25, 2019, 15:18:22
@oorlab I like the song a lot  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
The lyrics of this song makes me think maybe bad experiences with love that are exposed in a quiet way
That tranquility that positive evolution in people can give
Congratulations for this job  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #5 on: April 25, 2019, 19:46:28
hi @oorlab and @smajor
what a beautiful song  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
super  ::thumb:: ::thumb::
vocal harmonies are great
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #6 on: April 25, 2019, 22:31:58
« Last Edit: April 26, 2019, 08:49:27 by DonMar »
Beautifully done, @oorlab and @smajor. Excellent selection of instruments. A violin always wraps  right around the heart, doesn't it?  :) Lovely music & melody; compelling vocals & harmonies; evocative lyric. I enjoyed the vivid imagery. Very nice. I especially like V1 ('the nature of love' indeed  ;); the arrow imagery; and the shattered cup.

In a couple of places the lines did feel rushed, but - if it were decided to re-do the track - dropping only a couple of syllables would give that extra breathing space. Nevertheless, as it stands, the song is lovely.

Donna
Honour the earth. Without It, we'd be nowhere. - D.D.


Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #7 on: April 25, 2019, 22:53:38
@DonMar Agree. What you suggest would work just as well. I was just thinking that some of the lines could be split in two, because if you drop any syllables, you'd (slightly) change the lyric.


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #8 on: April 25, 2019, 23:22:55
« Last Edit: April 25, 2019, 23:30:08 by DonMar »
@Pleudoniem,  yes, splitting could work.

As regards syllables, I was thinking in terms of, for example, ‘about’ in line 4, V1, which could be replaced by ‘of’, although that line sounds fine as is (and avoids a double mention of ‘of’).

Or the slight rearranging of a line could result in a syllable or two less but still keep the meaning intact.

For example, line 1, V2 (currently 12 syllables) could become ‘A force from behind is pushing me forward’ (11) or ‘A force from behind pushes me forward’ (10).

Line 3, V 3 could become ‘I once had shattered pieces of a favourite cup' (dropping 1 syllable ‘the’).
(In this case, 'had' could be 'replaced by 'held'.)

Of course, the vocalist would know best which bits may or may not be problematic for him. ;)

Still,  a gorgeous song and a  fine lyric.

Donna


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #9 on: April 26, 2019, 21:07:17
Still the production could be clearer.
Maybe if each part would be recorded separately.
Certainly enjoyable as it is though.

Cheers @Rightly  - I think you're right, the production can be enhanced for clearness. I do actually have recorded all parts separately: 2 vocals, 3 guitar, violin and piano. What can you suggest for clearness? More separation in stereo, or EQ-ing or compression, or less reverb...?


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #10 on: April 26, 2019, 22:26:15
Beautifully orchestrated and arranged @oorlab and @smajor  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

The atmosphere and setting flow great with the lyrics. Liked it the first listen, liking it even more so the second time around which makes for a song that grows on me with each listen. I’m seriously impressed with the violin, both with the way you captured and implemented it...! It really lifts this song, adding so much melody and feel. The guitar work is great too, can’t find much of anything to nag about. I think it has a live performance charm to it leaving plenty of dynamic room in the mix.

Overall a production that is very easy to like.  ::headphone::

 ::Rachel::
/Micke

Layerson (a.k.a. Mikael Lagersson)


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #11 on: April 26, 2019, 22:54:10
live performance charm to it leaving plenty of dynamic room in the mix.
/Micke
thanks @Layerson  - indeed I did not compress the final mix, in order to keep a live feel. But may be 3 guitar parts (same guitar same mic, played in layers) is a bit too much...
but thanks for your positive feedback, inspiring to play some more violin too.


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #12 on: April 26, 2019, 23:08:54
@oorlab What bothers me a bit about this particular song is that it feels as if the lyric has lines that are a little too long for the musical phrases, making them run out of breath a bit. Possibly you might chop them up in shorter bits (without damaging the lyric), to make them fit better.

@Pleudoniem  and @DonMar  - many  thanks for the detailed reaction on the lyrics. Will pass it on to @smajor  . There were indeed 1 or 2 places where I felt there might be one or two syllables too much, but after trying out I managed to fit it in, by adding an extra bar.
may be  verse 2 line 4 could be "That's when I saw anew the nature of love."...
Could ideas.  Will definitely try this out.


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #13 on: April 30, 2019, 01:26:01
Hi @oorlab , @Rightly , @Leonard Scaper , @Pleudoniem , @Marcus Nalgaber , @Dutchbeat , @DonMar , and @Layerson ,

Oh my, I'm really late to this party. Most of my energy has been going into gardening lately in hopes of a bountiful harvest.

Thank you all for your great comments and suggestions. You've provided a lot of food for thought.

Personally I didn't have a problem with the extra syllables. For me it works on a level that isn't exactly rational... so I'm hard pressed to explain my reasoning. But now that DonMar and Pleudoniem have pointed out the problems and fixes I'll give it some thought.

But it seems that, overall, these are seen as minor problems. Not thundering blunders.

Thanks again everyone for your time and your efforts. This is what makes the Kitchen special to me.

Later,
Stan

I'm a lyricist seeking music writers to work with.


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Re: Arrow of Time (Stan Major lyrics)
Reply #14 on: April 30, 2019, 08:58:39
It turned out lovely, @oorlab and @smajor.
And I'd agree with @Leonard Scaper that at first sight the lyrics don't seem to be written with a certain melody in mind. So kudos to Oor for pulling this off. And elegantly too.

Looking back it looks like name dropping. High time to tame the curiosity:
If I mention myself, will I get a mail (fanmail) to notify me?
So, let's try: A well written, almost unreadable post @LePlongeur ! This is certainly not the way to make The Kitchen more attractive.

No this post isn't, but this song is.
Kind regards to all involved and all still reading, Gus



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