• Aura of your smile
  • Started by Rachel_D
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
  • Rachel_D
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • Music is what feelings sound like

    • 1097


    • 594
    • Yesterday at 23:30:03
    • Malta
  • more
Aura of your smile
on: January 25, 2021, 17:47:35
Hi kitcheners,

I hope you're well. After many long music-less days, some inspiration came my way yesterday morning and it became the first poem-song of the year :) (ps. I recorded it as soon as I got the idea and it's a very rough and sketchy vocal and recording). Here are the lyrics & link to song:

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/rachel_debattista/aura-of-your-smile
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AbyWX-psl4&feature=youtu.be


LYRICS:
V1: Thoughts speak louder than words
In the boxes of images that let down my world
As I stare in your gaze
I try to stay strong
but I'm not sure what that entails

CH
Cos I could have followed your stride
And you could have glimpsed a sign of my light
Cos with all that's left behind
I never seem to lose, the aura of your smile

V2: They say it gets easier with time
but the minute hand's so slow
and as the weeks come clashing by
my jukebox rolls...

CH
Cos I could have followed your stride
And you could have glimpsed a sign of my light
Cos with all that's left behind
I never seem to lose, the aura of your smile


take care & have a nice week :)
Rachel

Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


  • Dutchbeat
  • Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • If you can stand the Beat, get into the Kitchen!

    • 9748


    • 1470
    • February 23, 2021, 22:00:08
  • more
Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #1 on: January 25, 2021, 18:03:54
« Last Edit: January 25, 2021, 18:08:56 by Dutchbeat »
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

that is great!!! very catchy and memorable singing melody, hit potential, yes!!!! :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes: it is beautiful in my opinion
what do you think @Goatrelated and @all others ?

i ALWAYS very much like the singing melodies you come up, and the lyrics are very, very nice too

(i listened  / watched the youtube version..i can recommend it  :ok:)

oh and *edit* , it happens we have two beautiful songs concerning "aura" at the same time in the top of the boards at the kitchen!!!

the other one is from @IronKnee .....see:
https://www.songwriter-forum-kitchen.com/forum/songs-for-review/2/your-aura-glows/6825/msg72043#msg72043

awesome song @Rachel_D  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: :yes: :yes: :yes:


me, myself, and Pie


Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #2 on: January 25, 2021, 18:17:48
Very nice @Rachel_D   when or if you re-record this, you could put in a little instrumental to flesh it out to 2 1/2 minutes and have the perfect radio friendly song. 
Vince


  • Mylene
  • Patissier
  • *
  • "Without music, life would be a mistake."

    • 88


    • 40
    • March 07, 2021, 13:31:48
    • France
    • https://soundcloud.com/mylenenelym
  • more
Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #3 on: January 25, 2021, 19:09:39
Hello @Rachel_D
These layers of vocals are nice. You have such a beautiful and clear voice.
Thank you for the Youtube version which enables to follow the lyrics as you sing along.


  • LePlongeur
  • Executive Chef
  • *
  • In Tartiflette we trust

    • 2293


    • 441
    • Today at 07:56:04
    • Greater Amsterdam
  • more
Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #4 on: January 25, 2021, 19:44:23
What I said on SC:

Love it to pieces. Tie a ribbon round it and leave it alone. Thatís just my idea. I love the rough edges. I wouldnít hug it to death if I were you. But, admittedly, Iím not xxx

And I mean every word of it!
12 beautiful dream like poem songs this year? I could get used to this kind of class!
Kind regards, Gus


Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #5 on: January 25, 2021, 19:54:19
I agree with @LePlongeur , you should leave it as it is. Its unpolished character works well. Some of the chord changes reminded me a bit of Angels by Robbie Williams, but your voice isn't quite like his, so that should be quite fine.
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


  • Rachel_D
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • Music is what feelings sound like

    • 1097


    • 594
    • Yesterday at 23:30:03
    • Malta
  • more
Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #6 on: January 27, 2021, 18:00:50
@Dutchbeat , @Vince @Mylene' @LePlongeur @Pleudoniem - Thanks so much for listening! :D I greatly appreciate it! honestly, it means a lot to read your comments :)

@Dutchbeat ĖItís so nice that you see it that way, thank you so much!!! :D And thanks for being a long-time supporter of poem-songs!! :D Yes, Iíve noticed @IronKnee Ďs song! What a coincidence!! He created such a sweet song, I really like it! :D

@Vince Ė Thank you so much for your feedback! :D

@Mylene Ė Thanks so much! :) I really love your songs and itís always great to receive feedback from you :) Iím happy that you liked the yt video, (Iím still experimenting with finding the right format and trying out different apps to create videos with every new poem-song).

@LePlongeur - I'm really happy that you like my poem-song! :D :D Thanks so much for your positive feedback :)

@Pleudoniem Ė Thank you for your feedback :) and thanks for bringing up the connection about chord changes. I completely was not thinking about that song. Thatís a very interesting observation; thanks for pointing it out :)


Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #7 on: January 27, 2021, 18:51:37
« Last Edit: January 27, 2021, 18:56:10 by Pleudoniem »
@Rachel_D Ah well, so many songs have been composed already, that it is nearly impossible to compose anything completely new that won't make you think of anything else you've heard before. Also, no one goes without a context. I think I can live with the adage that everything's been done before, but not as yet by you or me. We're products of what gets to us, musically. Same goes for the memory that @Dutchbeat stirred up with his last song. He did a very nice job, but it reminded me of something else I heard.


  • Tolo
  • Poissonier
  • *
  • ...when words leave off, music begins...

    • 124


    • 15
    • March 04, 2021, 18:59:59
    • Pretoria
  • more
Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #8 on: January 29, 2021, 07:59:16
Hey Rachel - I think you have something here. I realise you say it is a draft - but when I listened to it I can immediately hear (in my head) the musical arrangement for it and for your voice. There are a lot of hooks in here that could really make it stand out - but I think the key to a song like this is not to overdo it - keep the fragility of the vocal and have the instrumentation sparse - and building - but beautifully complimentary to the voice.

T
Pro Tools 2020
UAD Apollo Twin Duo
Furman AC210E
10.13 High Sierra
SSD Thunderbolt Audio
i9 7900 10 Core
64G Crucial DDR4

www.tonylowther.com


Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #9 on: January 30, 2021, 17:51:12
I have missed hearing your poem songs @Rachel_D . This is a good one.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #10 on: January 30, 2021, 22:58:47
I'm quiet, it's so beautiful
 ::heart::
Merry Christmas


  • Mo
  • Chef de Partie
  • *

    • 568


    • 210
    • Today at 09:53:49
  • more
Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #11 on: January 31, 2021, 17:14:13
Thats bautiful @Rachel_D !
I like as it is!  :)


  • IronKnee
  • Poissonier
  • *
  • An Iron Chef

    • 107


    • 15
    • March 07, 2021, 18:55:10
  • more
Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #12 on: February 01, 2021, 01:35:28
oh.....an Aura song..........gotta listen!
Lovely tune. You have a sweet voice. Nice lyrics.
Good stuff, Rachel.........
                                                         -T
I Know The Truth By My Struggle Against It


  • Knate
  • Poissonier
  • *
  • Musical Polygamist

    • 188


    • 78
    • February 23, 2021, 05:17:39
    • Carbondale, CO
    • https://twitter.com/Knate_B https://www.facebook.com/KnateOfficial/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqy_LIRo5lDZvjDYEgjpYTQ https://soundcloud.com/knate-official
  • more
Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #13 on: February 03, 2021, 17:25:40
I like!  This is one of my favorites that Ive heard from you!  The melody is written very well, and despite the vocals being quick and scratch, it doesnt come across that way. 

I look forward to hearing this again afrer you've had the chance to work on it some more


Re: Aura of your smile
Reply #14 on: February 08, 2021, 14:52:11
@Rachel_D  Congratulations!! ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::



xx
Your Aura Glows

Started by IronKnee on Songs for review

14 Replies
459 Views
Last post February 16, 2021, 03:07:47
by revival-choir
xx
Smile

Started by HardCore88 on Songs for review

20 Replies
1673 Views
Last post February 04, 2016, 20:43:53
by redmando
xx
Behind her smile

Started by Mr Liam on Songs for review

5 Replies
658 Views
Last post August 22, 2018, 02:39:00
by Olbigead
clip
A bit of a smile

Started by MrBouzouki on The kitchen cafť

2 Replies
438 Views
Last post July 11, 2019, 19:27:44
by Leonard Scaper
xx
The smile - It is not a nightmare...

Started by Mora Amaro La Loba on Other Arts

6 Replies
803 Views
Last post February 18, 2019, 16:22:15
by Marcus Nalgaber