• Avoid the Water
  • Started by Andrew Jezmund
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Avoid the Water
on: September 10, 2016, 19:26:52
https://soundcloud.com/jezmund-2/avoid-the-water

Here's another one of my recent songs.  Thanks for listening.

Lyrics:

Donít swim in water
Because I canít protect you from the waves
If the sun gets hotter
Come and join me in the shade
If you want the water
You have to promise to behave
But donít go under
Because I can't promise you'll saved

Letís huddle together
Thereís a raging storm outside
Itís dangerous weather
And I know the perfect place to hide
But If youíre a storm chaser
Please let me know youíll be all right
just some demonstration
So my fear will subside

Keep in sight, donít be a fright
I canít lie here and assume that youíre okay
Can you hear, is my message clear?
Please stay near, donít wander far away
I try not to be a bother
You need the room to find your way
But please avoid the water
I canít protect you from the waves

Let's go in the water
Let's go splashing in the waves
If the sun starts getting hotter
I will take you to the shade


  • Jurgen
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • Just strumming away

    • 1337


    • 722
    • August 12, 2019, 17:15:33
    • Sydney, Australia
    • https://www.facebook.com/drivingsouthband/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCygXcTLN2FroxhUQM_90J6Q?view_as=subscriber https://soundcloud.com/user-386444683
  • more
Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #1 on: September 11, 2016, 05:02:37
Hi @Andrew Jezmund

I like the repetitive chords through this song.

Your voice also sounds good and I like the harmonies as well.

My only criticism would be that it's a little long.

Nice song.

cheers

Jurgen


Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #2 on: September 11, 2016, 11:51:55
Hi @Andrew Jezmund

I like the repetitive chords through this song.

Your voice also sounds good and I like the harmonies as well.

My only criticism would be that it's a little long.

Nice song.

cheers

Jurgen

The first version of the song was over 6 minutes.  I spent some time slicing and dicing it down to its current length.  :)


  • Dutchbeat
  • MADministrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • If you can stand the Beat, get into the Kitchen!

    • 8538


    • 1410
    • Today at 14:03:30
  • more
Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #3 on: September 11, 2016, 12:07:25
Hi Andrew,

your voice always is so nice and clear, very good. (so yes, i can "hear and the message is clear"  ;D ;D ;D ;D)

Lovely tune and lyrics  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
me, myself, and Pie


Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #4 on: September 11, 2016, 17:21:25
Lovely gentle song - put Neil Young in mind.. The harmonies enhance it beautifully..

Really enjoyed this and will listen again for sure..

Well done @Andrew Jezmund !!



Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #5 on: September 11, 2016, 17:54:53
Nice vocals and acoustic guitar, perfect song for a Sunday afternoon


Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #6 on: September 16, 2016, 11:31:50
Lovely gentle song - put Neil Young in mind.. The harmonies enhance it beautifully..

Really enjoyed this and will listen again for sure..

Well done @Andrew Jezmund !!



Thanks a lot Zedd, and everyone else for listening.


Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #7 on: September 16, 2016, 12:25:00
Nice gentle/easy song. It does feel a bit too long, but who am I to complain about that with some of my stuff.

Only technical criticism is that when the percussion comes in it feels a bit muffled and doesn't sit with the brightness of the 1+1

dB


  • redmando
  • Poissonier
  • *
  • It's the Bellmetal Banana Company

    • 241


    • 94
    • Yesterday at 18:28:48
    • UK
    • http://twitter.com/mandolinking https://soundcloud.com/steve-gray-songwriting
  • more
Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #8 on: September 16, 2016, 12:35:24
A real folky sound @Andrew Jezmund - the chords and vocals remind me of Fairport Convention. The only criticisms I would offer are that the lyrics don't seem to be going anywhere and the "don't be a fright" line jarrs. That aside, I will listen to more of your output - I like the feel and production.
Working for the Bellmetal Banana Company


Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #9 on: September 18, 2016, 17:38:54
 ::heart::
kwasr


  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6501


    • 1658
    • Today at 10:19:27
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #10 on: September 21, 2016, 01:58:43
Hey @Andrew Jezmund

Yes! Your voice sounds so great in this higher register!
Love the second harmony. Still have my doubts about your mic/vocal treatment,
but I know you're looking for other gear.
I noticed when the kick punched in the mix was overloaded.. Are you limiting
the overall master too much maybe?
Splendid instrumental, great song, loved it!

:mart:


Re: Avoid the Water
Reply #11 on: September 21, 2016, 11:54:46
Thanks folks for all the feedback.

Marti,

I'm actively researching new equipment



xx
Viagnol - avoid if easily offended !!!

Started by GTB on Songs for review

11 Replies
406 Views
Last post May 21, 2015, 16:23:18
by Mar T.
xx
Melody creation: avoiding 'avoid' notes

Started by DonMar on The kitchen cafť

4 Replies
186 Views
Last post May 17, 2019, 10:53:16
by MrBouzouki
xx
The Water

Started by Kafla on Songs for review

10 Replies
624 Views
Last post October 10, 2013, 16:28:29
by montydog
xx
The Water

Started by Kafla on Songs for review

15 Replies
924 Views
Last post October 24, 2013, 12:03:01
by cheff daniel
xx
Breathe In The Water

Started by Leonard Scaper on Songs for review

17 Replies
332 Views
Last post April 11, 2019, 15:10:47
by Leonard Scaper