Background of my Life

https://soundcloud.com/jezmund-2/background-of-my-life

This is a new song of mine.  Not sure how I feel about the production.  It was somewhat rushed, due to the limited time I have these days for writing and recording.  Let me know what you think.  Thanks. 

Lyrics:

You’ve faded to the background of my life
We used to see each other every day
I’d hang on every word you’d say
Sometimes things work out this way
In the background of my life

There were nights fueled by misery
Of twenty-somethings looking for company
The sound of David Bowie lingers
In bars filled with amateur singers
In the background of my life

Today as I go a-walkin’
I can still hear you talkin’
About hearing your confessions
About your failed interventions
How your lover lost control
And you had no place left to go

It all mixes in my mind
All our memories intertwine
From the bland to the sublime
Two lives crossing through time
And through this blurry view
I am searching for you
In the background of my life

Today as I go a-walkin’
I can still hear you talkin’
I see you reach for my guitar
And say you’re gonna me who you are
And how you had no room to grow
And had no place left to go
It all mixes in my mind
All our memories intertwine
From the bland to the sublime
Two lives crossing through time
And through this blurry view
I am searching for you
In the background of my life

You faded to the background of my life
All the dreams we thought we had to do
So many scenes meander through
But if I look hard, I just might find you
In the background of my life.

Hi @Andrew Jezmund ! Great to hear a new song from you and a really good one at that!! Loved the guitar and vocal and the lyrical story telling is great - imagery strong - loved the Bowie ref!!! The chorus is really hooky - when I looked at the lyrics before listening I thought it would be too long to grab you but I was proved wrong! Really loved the melody and am still humming it to myself.

Two things I'm not sure about - lyrically 'dreams .... we had to do' sounds wrong to me. Maybe 'all the things we dreamed we'd do'? The other is the piano solo - I think the concept of a break works really well between the two choruses but maybe (and I speak as one who couldn't do a guitar solo :-)) a guitar break would work beautifully here. @Jurgen I would be interested in your thoughts on that! As in what work there as someone who really does know his way around a guitar riff/solo.. Or if you want to stick with piano, I'd make it a little less busy and quantize it.

It's such a lovely song I think that would really top it off for me. As always, just my personal opinion which may not match yours!!

Great stuff and fab song!!!!

Hi @Andrew Jezmund - yes I'm with @Zedd here - this is a really good song.

From the opening notes picked on the guitar it really grabs you. It has a strong melody and your voice really suits. The chords changes work really well and it is very catchy.

I agree re: the piano solo and Zedd makes a good point - I think the piano needs to be more melodic. That's very kind of you to mention me re: a guitar solo @Zedd and of course any song benefits from a guitar solo 

Whether it's a guitar solo or a piano solo - I think less is more. With the piano solo - it almost doesn't seem to fit - too many notes that don't seem to match the melody. It's also quite long and if there's going to be a  long solo it needs to be strong - especially when the song itself is so strong.

The way you build after the solo and add the double vocals and some more instrumentation provides a good change and I was surprised that the song is almost 4 and half minutes long.

A really great song!

cheers

Zedd and jurgen,

Thanks!  I agree about the piano solo.  It's not great.  I tried 3 or 4 different solos and that was the best I was able to come up with.  I may ditch the solo altogether and come up with a different way to bridge the two choruses together.  I'll have to think about it a bit.

Thanks for all the other feedback too.  Much appreciated.

Zedd, you mentioned the "all the dreams" line.  The original lyric was "all the things we thought we had to do".  I didn't like saying "things" because I remember an English teacher telling me once that "things" is a word you use because you can't define what the "things" are.    So I replaced "things" with "dreams".  It's an odd lyric, I agree.

@Andrew Jezmund
Ha, that chorus...."today as I go walkin'"
NICE!!! fantastic, I love those lyrics and that singing melody, especially with the two vocals together (you combination of vocals always sounds very pleasant and awesome to me)

I see the track is already over 4 minutes, but I still would like some more chorus repeats......

Hey

Very cool song,  love the guitar and the instrumental bit is great

Good work

Hi @Andrew Jezmund

I really enjoyed the song, the piano part is a bit too busy for me though.  I think an easy fix would be to play the chords or root note on the bass clef of the piano, and gently play a rhythm or arpeggio on the higher registers.  Usually works well for bridges, middle 8's etc. 

Thanks for sharing. 

@Andrew Jezmund This is a great, great lyric. But I think I agree with @Dara about the piano. The rest of the song just works; the guitars are great, your vocal, the harmonies, the backing and arrangement. One idea instead of the piano might be to break the song down and give the song more dynamics (perhaps just go back to the acoustic guitar like the way the song starts and then into the final verse). Anyway, this is just a suggestion. The song works very well as it is. I am going back to listen to it again!

I really dig how the extra percussion kicks in at 0:45. Absolutely love the chord changes and the guitar. There's only a bit of vocal harmony, but what's there is outstanding. I'm kind of a production snob—I have very little interest in studio tracks that don't have a certain amount of polish—but I think this was assembled beautifully and your trepidation about the production is totally unwarranted. It's very, very lovely.

  beautiful story

Hi @Andrew Jezmund,

Really enjoyed listening. Thanks for sharing 

Very nice lyric 

Later,
Stan

Hi @Andrew Jezmund,

yes, great lyrics and very good song. The piano solo (you heard that already) can be improved ;-)

Best,

Fabian

great song - fine strings too in the middle part. I agree with the others about the piano solo.