• Behind Closed Doors
  • Started by Jambrains
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  • Jambrains
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Behind Closed Doors
on: June 24, 2020, 23:23:14



When @Zedd read my first draft of the lyrics she interpreted it in a completely different (and unexpected!) way. One thing led to the other and after a number of iterations the lyrics are so much better than what I started out with so I owe her big time for all the valuable support. We had fun as well   :)

Anyway, this is the first mix so input in that area is much appreciated but so are other input as well so fire away..

https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/behind-closed-doors

I saw the struggles
I saw the fights
The heated arguments
Who was wrong and who was right?
Positions were taken
Lines were drawn
Every point was argued
No one ever backed down

Each day you pushed me
to take sides
Was I with you or against you
Was I brave or would I hide?

I tried to walk on water
and I tried to raise the dead
You knew you needed miracles
But you looked to me instead
You tried to make me choose
I was a child, I was afraid
I couldn’t walk on water
I couldn’t raise the dead

I knew the story
Heard behind closed doors
the screams and then the silence
like so many nights before
Huddled tight and safe
In the space beside my bed
I blocked out all the shouting
With little arms around my head

Each day you pushed me
to take sides
Was I with you or against you
Was I brave or would I hide?

I tried to walk on water
and I tried to raise the dead
You knew you needed miracles
But you looked to me instead
You tried to make me choose
I was a child, I was afraid
I couldn’t walk on water
I couldn’t raise the dead

They pretended that it was normal
The calm and then the storm
The tears and retributions
The promise of no more
The desperate “I love you”s
The pleading not to leave
And I clung to what I knew
If I ignore it, it’s not real

I tried to walk on water
and I tried to raise the dead
You knew you needed miracles
But you looked to me instead
You tried to make me choose
I was a child, I was afraid
I couldn’t walk on water
I couldn’t raise the dead
Let man's petty nations tear themselves apart
My land's only borders lie around my heart


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Re: Behind Closed Doors
Reply #1 on: June 25, 2020, 00:18:41
Sounding superb - strong  Chorus.
Only tip I can offer at first listen is the title, might be changed in Tried to walk on water.
Seems to me to catch the spirit better.
new guitar 4-6-2020 https://soundcloud.com/oorlab/12string-demo1 12string Cort.


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Re: Behind Closed Doors
Reply #2 on: June 25, 2020, 09:28:25
Nice one. Nice lyrics too.
And I agree with @oorlab where the 'tried to walk the water' is concerned.
But also because I think that using the word I too much, dilutes the strength of what you try to tell us. Or maybe that's what O.  meant.
Next one please! @Jambrains
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Behind Closed Doors
Reply #3 on: June 25, 2020, 20:18:34
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: great lyrics...AWESOME

i recognize that situation..oh.. ::) ::) :-X...and..... :-X
 superb drums and music  :yes: :yes: :yes: :yes:
me, myself, and Pie


Re: Behind Closed Doors
Reply #4 on: June 25, 2020, 20:25:53
Hola @Jambrains
I thought I had commented on your song but not.
Beginning withe the lyrics... The construction of the lines is so well prepared for singing and the story so good pictured is really moving.

I really enjoyed listening, ::thumb::
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
https://vimeo.com/onacarom


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Re: Behind Closed Doors
Reply #5 on: June 27, 2020, 04:51:28
This is a really good song. The chord changes are very powerful and it really lends itself to a great melody.  Your vocals are good but I feel the song has a lot more potential than what you have here. I don't mean to sound critical but I am just a realist. I suggest that you find another person to sing it, or else you just really knuckle down and figure out a powerful melody for yourself to sing.

Ther are a lot of harmony opportunities as well.

The only change suggestion I have is this... I hear how you add a chord to make space to sing the following verses and there is nothing wrong with that. You play a I-chord (an E, I believe), so after that chord I would also add a V-chord (a B if you are in E). Just because I think it works there and it is a little more balanced.

The lyrics are good but there is always a question when they start to sound too biblical (I have had this problem myself), I am not saying its bad, but to use phrases like "walk on water" tends to go places you might not intend to be going. Just thot I would mention it.

Good song though, I was singing along to it.
I work on Protools, was a pro recording engineer for 10 years in analog. I play compose, perform record and mix everything in my recordings.


Re: Behind Closed Doors
Reply #6 on: June 27, 2020, 12:24:24
@Jambrains  :yes:

A magnificent and suggestive music
Congratulations  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::


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Re: Behind Closed Doors
Reply #7 on: June 28, 2020, 12:33:05
Thats a good song  ::thumb:: and very good lyrics  ::thumb:: ::thumb::
Well done @Jambrains  and @Zedd


Re: Behind Closed Doors
Reply #8 on: June 29, 2020, 14:07:26
Another excellent song that shows the depth of your writing and production skills.

Love the chorus.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason



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