• Bitten Twice
  • Started by Chris Spruit
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Bitten Twice
on: April 26, 2019, 10:44:39
Hi Everybody, long time since I posted a song so here we go:

Going on a Trip to Sweden,  :dance: today, but thought I leave you our Latest from Dave and myself (Blue Attitude), hope you enjoy :
Let me have your valued feedback .

XXXChris XXXX

https://soundcloud.com/christiane-spruit/bitten-twice

Lyrics :
Bitten Twice

Had to learn
Fail for desire
Bitten twice now
Despair and admire
Head up high
Wearing a crown
As we know now
This fight is taking us down

Failing true
Down to our pride
Burn the candle of love
From both sides
As we go, one step at a time
Steep and steeper, this mountain,
This mountain grows high

Bridge
As we fall for the pride
We've been bitten twice
As we fall for the pride
We have been bitten twice

Lonely cruise
The damage is done
Back to black now
All color is gone
Played my cards
And that's what you've done
As we know now
This love
This love is long gone

Outro vamp:
Bitten Twice
OUR NEW CD BLUE LINE OUT NOW :
https://blueattitude.hearnow.com/


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Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #1 on: April 26, 2019, 13:27:16
« Last Edit: April 26, 2019, 13:40:07 by DonMar »
Nice to hear your pleasing vocals again, @Chris Spruit . (I enjoyed them in ‘Winter Blue’.)

As a non-musician, I can’t say anything too exciting about the music or technique.  It all sounds good to me, with nice dynamics and melodic variation & change-up into the bridge. Some fine guitar going on as well. Gorgeous solo.

You mention wanting feedback, so I trust it’s OK if I look at the lyric? The AABA structure works well, and the lyric flows smoothly despite the slightly irregular rhyme scheme. If something works, it works. ;) Plenty of imagery.

I like the twist in the reference to the idiom 'once bitten, twice shy'. Saying 'bitten twice' adds an extra layer of meaning to the lyrical story.

As to the story details, though – at least for me – only in the third verse is the meaning there fully clear.

I can’t determine what is meant in lines 1-4 in V1 & 2 and lines 1 & 2 in the bridge. I can imagine a few possibilities, but it would be easier to know what the writer intends. ;) The lines I’m unsure of are:
‘Fail for desire’
‘Despair and admire’ – What is the connection to the previous  three lines?
‘Failing true
Down to our pride’

And in the bridge: ‘As we fall for the pride’.

If I know what is meant, I might be able to suggest a ‘fix’ that won’t interfere with the melody/metering.

V2: Because the English idiom is ‘burn a candle at both ends’, it sounds odd to refer to a candle burning ‘from both sides’. I see though that you use ‘sides’ for the purpose of rhyming, so it will likely need to stay. ;)

In any case, the above is just one person’s opinion. Keep or sweep.  :)

Donna
Honour the earth. Without It, we'd be nowhere. - D.D.


Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #2 on: April 26, 2019, 14:09:12
« Last Edit: April 26, 2019, 15:18:06 by Chris Spruit »
When a great desire fails ....Karmen MacKendrick....
do you know that book?  autonomy becomes entagled with pride :-)

Anyway I think all these words are keywords in relationship between two people who realise that
it wasn't love that kept them together and after a short period of admiring someone we meet up with our own desire.....again
we fight because of pride and it seems  like failure . Burned the candle of love on each side ???.got me thinking now :-)

I am german so I sometimes use metaphors and change them into something new and play with the word , so it will match my intends and the songstructure :-) .

And hey ;-) lol if a candle has two ends , like a sausage, why not have two sides to look at :-) .....

Ok , my lyrics are a bit cryptic, I admit .  So why not sending me some of your lyrics over one day if you like and I will try to turn it into a song????  ::thumb::


XXXChris


Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #3 on: April 26, 2019, 17:35:15
This music is authentic Club
The sound of the mix also has that Club sound image
Very good work  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::


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Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #4 on: April 26, 2019, 17:44:46
The sound of the mix also has that Club sound image

I agree with Marcus about that club sound. I like it.

You sound great, Chris, and I love Dave's guitar work, especially in that instrumental.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #5 on: April 26, 2019, 20:43:24
that sounds awesome @Chris Spruit and Dave

your voice is super
great song this  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #6 on: April 26, 2019, 21:11:21
« Last Edit: April 26, 2019, 21:25:41 by DonMar »
When a great desire fails ....Karmen MacKendrick....
do you know that book?  autonomy becomes entagled with pride :-)

Anyway I think all these words are keywords in relationship between two people who realise that
it wasn't love that kept them together and after a short period of admiring someone we meet up with our own desire.....again
we fight because of pride and it seems  like failure . Burned the candle of love on each side ???.got me thinking now :-)

I am german so I sometimes use metaphors and change them into something new and play with the word , so it will match my intends and the songstructure :-) .

And hey ;-) lol if a candle has two ends , like a sausage, why not have two sides to look at :-) .....

Ok , my lyrics are a bit cryptic, I admit .  So why not sending me some of your lyrics over one day if you like and I will try to turn it into a song????  ::thumb::


XXXChris

Chris, you're the boss of your lyric.  ;) Oh, I did understand what it was about. That was clear. Those specific lines simply had me wondering: does it mean this, that, or the other thing: e.g. does 'fall for the pride' = 'fall because of pride'? ...and so on.

But none of that matters. The song is good.   :)

Thank you for the invitation. I'd already been eyeing you up for a possible collaboration.  ;) I'll let you know when I have something that might be of interest.

Donna


Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #7 on: April 26, 2019, 21:52:16
@Chris Spruit The intro of the song made me think of a theme for a James Bond movie. I could almost see flashes of parachutes, speeding cars, guns and stunting men. Possibly it wouldn't do so bad for one. I think Bitten Twice would be a great title for the next one  ;D

I can understand the insecurity that @DonMar experienced with the lyric. I am not sure if you should change it, as the (let's call them) Germanisms definitely have their charm.

I would suggest lowering the volume of the guitar in some places though. The theme is catchy and it works well, and in a good song, but I sometimes feel it is a bit too loud in comparison. If you lowered the volume, I think it would benefit both the guitar and the rest of the track, imho.
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


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Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #8 on: April 27, 2019, 22:02:50
Hi @Chris Spruit

After some of your recent ones you two have produced this does sound like one you would put in a middle of an album.
Nothing wrong with it but nothing to make you think ... 'hey listen to this'

The guitar solo is 'on point' as usual by Dave but the song overall isn't one of your 'A' raters. You know how I like your work so don't be discouraged. Just not doing it for me I'm afraid.

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::

"Love and Life is all about connections"


Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #9 on: April 28, 2019, 09:50:15
Hi @Chris Spruit

After some of your recent ones you two have produced this does sound like one you would put in a middle of an album.
Nothing wrong with it but nothing to make you think ... 'hey listen to this'

The guitar solo is 'on point' as usual by Dave but the song overall isn't one of your 'A' raters. You know how I like your work so don't be discouraged. Just not doing it for me I'm afraid.

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::

Thank you for your honest opinion,  even I am sad that you don't like it but  cool to know I can rely on your honesty in case of a song. That is important. And next time got you again 😃


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Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #10 on: April 28, 2019, 12:39:56
I’ve been wondering what to say about this.
And it is expressly not a ‘dis’ in @mr bouzouki’s direction, but I love middle songs. The only covers I ever did in my life were B sides. Don’t want you no more and High time baby, both by the Specer Davis Group, for instance.

The A’s drew so much attention, that they dictated how and what to feel. The B’s, I could listen to with a far more free head. No English probably, but you know what I mean.

On any album there are more loose songs, like this one. Letting me regain my dreams and letting me float away.
One gem as track number one, and one as number thirteen. And eleven like this one and you  know exactly why I love driving my car.

In short, a repertoire of gems? Let’s be gentle first and honest later: impossible.
A repertoire of a nice mix? What more can we ask for?
Kind regards @Chris Spruit , Gus


Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #11 on: April 30, 2019, 19:03:04
I really enjoyed this song.

Really nice guitar riff, production, vocals, melody and lyrics. Well thought out :)

Troispr


Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #12 on: April 30, 2019, 19:14:05
@Chris Spruit nice feel...the music and your lyrics go hand in hand...I wanted to hear your voice more  :D I also like "Bitten Twice"... nice twist. Great job.
Do what makes your heart sing :)


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Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #13 on: May 02, 2019, 09:16:11
I listened to bitten twice again. When you're bitten twice, listening once is not nearly enough.
And in the 'let's be gentle first and honest later' vein:
It could very well be a choice of color of sound, if you get what I mean, but I think the drums are way too boomy and present and (to my taste) a delicate bass or double bass is lacking.
There, I've said it.

Don't spend time changing this one, please. Try and experiment with the third bite.
Kind regards, Gus


Re: Bitten Twice
Reply #14 on: May 09, 2019, 13:31:12
@and to All of you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you for all your comments , much appreciated as always.

XXXChris