• Blood In The Gutter - Layerson (lyrics by John J Longmuir)
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  • Layerson
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Hi Kitcheners!

Just finished another song thatís been ongoing for a while, this time itís in the rock genre and a first collaboration with lyrics author John J Longmuir.

Itís titled ďBlood In The GutterĒ:
https://soundcloud.com/user-2898025/blood-in-the-gutter-layerson-lyrics-by-john-j-longmuir/s-dJC5s

Please let us know what you all think, any changes needed etc, all types of feedback is warmly welcome.

 ::Rachel::
/Micke

BLOOD IN THE GUTTER

I heard the news
Itís not that good
Gangs are gatheriní
In the neighborhood

Itís gettingí hard
To sleep at night
The guns are talkiní
While the new boys fight

Blood in the gutter
Flesh on the street
Someone dies and no one speaks

Blood in the gutter
Flesh on the street
Broken bones and empty dreams

What can you do
Itís a battle zone
Too many to see
When youíre alone

The nights are long
The days are rough
To make it through
Youíve gotta be tough

Blood in the gutter
Flesh on the street
Someone dies and no one speaks

Blood in the gutter
Flesh on the street
Broken bones and empty dreams

Baseball bats, lengths of chain
Cold sharp steel and lots of pain
Someone gives, someone takes
Before long someone breaks

Blood in the gutter
Flesh on the street
Someone dies and no one speaks

Blood in the gutter
Flesh on the street
Broken bones and empty dreams

Lyrics by John J Longmuir
Music by Mikael Lagersson
Layerson (a.k.a. Mikael Lagersson)


  • Leonard Scaper
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You guys really work well together.......the music chugs perfectly under these dark and dangerous lyrics. The vocal presentation is just right and the sound effects are pretty cool too.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Hey @Layerson ... brooding intro.

The bass fill at 0:10 either seems a not quite in time to my ears. Less notes is the way to go for that I think.
I'm often guilty of that, as a guitarist I put it too many notes into my fills , then end up taking most of them out again.  ;D
Yes, @I've done multiple listens now and it just sounds wrong at the moment , sorry  :doublebonk:

I think you need to change up to sing a bit higher on "The guns are talkiní While the new boys fight" to stop it sounding too repetitive.
Maybe end of a higher A which naturally leads into "Blood in the Gutter ..."
Since you want to hit the listeners with the Blood in the Gutter lyric you need to build the tension by moving up to it.

I think it would be good to have extra accented powers chords on Blood, Flesh, Street,  then Dies and Speaks to accent those words and make them punch through. A bit of an AC/DC device perhaps but effective.

Love the overall playing and Sound FX are ace , I just feel it needs to Rock EVEN MORE.  You maybe need to channel you inner Bruce Dickinson to maybe engage the listener more. Think how he holds on to notes at the ends of lines ... almost operatic in nature but very effective when done at the right time to bring out more emotion.

I hope I haven't be overly critical but i reckon this could be a killer track with a few tweaks hence my comments above

 ::e-guitar3:: ::e-guitar3:: ::e-guitar3::









"Love and Life is all about connections"


The music was what I was expecting for the title great job.  Maybe Iím a fish out of water on this stylistically but I feel you lead VOX needs to come up a tick.  I want to know and hear what you are telling me and it was too much strain to my ears.  Listening at gym ainít gonna look at no lyric sheet.  Of course most listeners wonít be critiquing your lyric.  But to identify they are gonna need the words pounding in their brain to remember later.  Just my thoughts.  Rock on


  • Layerson
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Hey many thanks for the feedback you guys @Leonard Scaper, @MrBouzouki and @SteveAlton  :thumbsup:

Steve, Iím getting that and will make the vocals more audible. Iím kinda hearing them having same issue depending on what equipment Iím referencing on. Think thereís room for improvement in stereo and Iíll try to find balance in mono too, I thought they were maybe a tad too present in that mode so I dialed them down, so perhaps they need more attention and space in the stereo mix.

MrBouzouki that was very informative and Iíll try to honor the suggestions youíve made. Itís clear that itís easy to become accustomed to how it sounds and miss things. Iíve got lots to learn so emphasis on certain words, stressing the beats with power chords and changing up the pitch for the vocals makes perfect sense but I wouldnít have thought of those details myself, thanks for pointing them out. No, youíre not overly critical, this is exactly the kind of response I wanna have, itís super helpful. Iím gonna have a second go at the intro which sounds kinda bland as is, so the initial bass fill will have to go and I will try something else instead. (Iím not really a bassist so itís very much improvised and lots of work to figure out to do with that strange four strings guitar, often itís just following the song, like the bassist had a bad day or something.)

Iíll have to make a check list so I donít miss anything. Again, thanks a bunch, you guys rock  ::e-guitar3::

 ::Rachel::
/Micke


It all has to teeter on the edge for a song in this style to work... I think you`re 80% there @Layerson , which is 50% closer to great than I could get  :blackgrin:
 I`m only going on a  lifetime of mostly avoiding music like this,  but you sucked me in with Lullabies For My Nemesis last time.
 I did enjoy the gritty lyrics and power guitars. @MrBouzouki  made a good point about varying your vocal pitch- throaty low sections sound very good to me, I would like to have heard that "operatic" shift somewhere to send shivers. Wouldn`t dream of trying to go from Captain Beefheart to Freddie Mercury myself, but you are putting yourself out there with this one already.
Good production btw.

Robert


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Hehe @robertkc we all have our kryptonite, I think mine is modern pop, but Iím gonna make one song in that genre someday soon.

Iím grateful youíre tolerant with this genre and you are right, Iíll need help getting those final twenty percent in order to go full out rock. Weíre gonna have to see if I have it in me to pull of a theatrical shift in pitch or not, Iím uncertain as to how well my voice performs in high pitch graveling.  :blackgrin:

Had a great laugh reading your response and I thank you for the positive touch, despite it being music you wanna stay clear from.   :blackgrin:

 ::Rachel::
/Micke


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Hi @Layerson - great rock song.

Not my type of music to be honest but I do like the driving feel of it.

Some good suggestions already and I echo @MrBouzouki re: the vocals, it feels like they should go up and louder as the song progresses as it would build up the drama and feel. It might not be so easy to sing of course but it really does feel like it needs that change in vocal dynamics.

cheers


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Since I have a fair bit of experience in choir Tenor singing now,  I know the trick in singing high is not to push chest. If you do that the vocal folds just blast open and that's game over.

The trick instead is forward placement, an open mouth and opening up resonate spaces. I've head it described as thinking of having a whole cupcake in your mouth or as I describe it,  "it feels like a pebble of air behind your top teeth". This puts you mouth in the correct position for ping or as the Italian classical singers call it  'squillo'

This is the 'head voice in a male as opposed to the chest voice of everyday use.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squillo

I believe Bruce Dickinson in Iron Maiden was classically trained so it makes sense he would understand this. He has a classical vibrato too.

Our MD always goes on about smiling when going for higher notes, again that mechanism puts things in the correct position and helps with tuning. It's amazing what an open mouth will do too, not just for volume but also making things ring out and cut through.

The other key thing is breath support. If you collapse your rib-cage, again it's game over, keep is raised and you can sing through phrases and stop you scooping into notes or falling off them. 

Even when mic singing you can adopt the correct ribcage and mouth positions and they will help you. 


Felicidades @Layerson

A very dark hard song, sung with rage and strength, you have achieved a very good result!

I liked

"Someone gives, someone takes
Before long someone breaks"
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


  • Layerson
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Thanks @Jurgen  :)

Iím more of a metal fan myself but this time the muse gave me a 6/8 beat with this riff (...had no idea what the beat actually was, luckily Logic has ďmagicĒ features to find out time measurements...) and it also fit the A minor pentatonic scale (almost, there is a raised note in there, so Iím borrowing from some other scale) and I took it from there...

Iím actually going to try to improve the vocals and all this coaching by you @MrBouzouki and encouragement I get from the kitchen really makes me want to make it work.
I think I need a vocal coach for real and Iíll try to incorporate some exercises for reaching the higher notes on my own, written help very appreciated.

@Mora Amaro La Loba yes, itís a very dark setting and John put words together that paints a grim image and I just try to follow along that path with my voice. As he said:  ďGangs are a problem all around the world, and this is just the reality of the situation.Ē

 ::Rachel::
/Micke


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I also got a indication of the mood the song would be going bwhen I read the title.
And you pull it off, to fulfill that promis.
The only way to better it, specially if you are a metal head, is to substitute the too clean and neat bass by some gore and steaming sounding bass. And some thunderous drumming perhaps. Like what's his name? The one armed drummer?
But yes, it's a very convincing collab! Very well done.
Kind regards, Gus


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Thanks @LePlongeur  ::headphone::
 
I aim to keep it in the rock genre, no real plans to introduce metal elements. The song has this retro feel right now, with the ďbare bassĒ and itís rather Iíd wanna give it even more of that 70s or 80s touch. I use a pick with the base guitar, not really any good with thumb and fingers. If I was, then it would get more of a  base prone approach, but Iím more of a guitarist ::e-guitar3::

Youíre right about the drums, they could need more attention and drive. Iím using Logics AI drummer but Iíll probably need to midi edit for timing the down beats and fills, make it sit better together. I have lots of other drum kits available so that will be something to try out.

 ::Rachel::
/Micke



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Of course youíve the casting vote, as it is your baby.
Pick or fingers is of no interest. Even in my softest songs, Iíve got the foulest bass in the Kitchen. And I play the bass with a rather thin pick exclusively. As John Fogerty said: the bass is for between the legs.
Itís all a matter of taste. Bad taste perhaps (my bad taste Iím talking about ; to avoid blood in the gutter). But the choice is yours of course.

I like the song very much @Layerson!
Kind regards, Gus


i want to say that i really like the bass line at the beginning furthermore your vocal sounds really metal to me hah what is a big advantage !
awesome bass connection in 1:00 minute apart from that i am impressed with your guitar sound ! it is really heavy metal like :)



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