• "Blueman" by Bryce Parry
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"Blueman" by Bryce Parry
on: June 01, 2015, 05:45:08
Here's my most recent song, I call it "Blueman" Looking for any general impressions, things you like/dislike, any feedback is great!

Thanks for listening,
https://soundcloud.com/bpar3/blueman-1

Lyrics:

The blueman is singing down on the river bend,
a blue crane goes for a dip
where the rainbows and reflections swim.

The blueman is dancing upon the jaded pinnacles,
a mother eagle guides her young,
like the sun, with a certain draw.

All is calm.

The blueman is pleading for a gift from God,
lightning whips the rain, over peaks,
near a place he loves.

Yellow shattered wildflowers,
azure streaks of you,
lay in pieces on the ground,
painting pictures, dark yet true.
On this night, blueman,
I'm here for you.

All he hears,
fears, and the liars,
disappear.

Dawn, a new day,
where the trees are laughing,
don't you hear them say,

Blueman, sing me your song.
Blueman, carry me along.
Forget about all your troubles,
Your spirit is growing strong.

Blueman, you've got to go.
Blueman, I'll speak true.
Your lonely hours are numbered,
a blue crane is here for you.

She says,
Blueman, sing me your song,
Blueman, carry me along.
On this night, blueman,
I'm here because of you.

I am the blueman,
carry me along.


Hope you like it


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Re: "Blueman" by Bryce Parry
Reply #1 on: June 01, 2015, 07:05:57
Hello brycepski and welcome to the kitchen.Karma for finding the way. Your song is very nice with a very relaxed feeling.Nice piano playing, I wish I have learned also. Only critism in the beginning there are may a bit too much syllables per line. I enjoyed listening. :)
Alexander


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Re: "Blueman" by Bryce Parry
Reply #2 on: June 01, 2015, 07:17:16
I feel that there needs to be percussion in this song, or at least a guitar playing some chords in the background. I know that the piano is playing the rhythm but to me that isn't enough.

Also with the lead to the first chorus, there could be more of a swelling feel. Maybe hold some chords with the organ or flutes.

Other than that really nice!


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Re: "Blueman" by Bryce Parry
Reply #3 on: June 01, 2015, 09:25:44
Hello Bryce, welcome
thank you for joining this forum

let me start with giving you your welcome karma points, watch out.....

Incoming..... Karma points[/b]

i enjoyed your music, very relaxing and good music, your voice is very nice too. I hear piano, organ, guitar and also flute (?), is it real flute or on keys???

more karma points for sharing this music!!! nice!



me, myself, and Pie


Re: "Blueman" by Bryce Parry
Reply #4 on: June 01, 2015, 13:58:55
Yeah love it to! Nice voice and keys. But I really have to concentrate what you're saying. That makes it a bit difficult to focus. But with the lyrics in front of me it?s all clear to me haha.
Nice story! Nice song. Love the guitar solo. There is a lot to enjoy in this song!

Probz for U!

B
The answers are always there!!


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Re: "Blueman" by Bryce Parry
Reply #5 on: June 01, 2015, 16:12:05
Hi brycepski welcome to the kitchen! To me this is a song with potential. I like the melody and arrangement. I agree with haven about the dynamics. I think it would become an even better song if you swell when working towards the chorus. Like the lyrics. Well done!! MM
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams



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