• Burn
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Burn
on: November 03, 2020, 11:42:34
« Last Edit: November 03, 2020, 12:39:27 by Mo »
Hello!

I would like to share this draft. I started to bring down some rough ideas about a song with just two chords. It  wasn't my goal do deliver a good production technically wise.

Special to me here is, that I used first time  a one-take vocal without any cuts from begin till end. I used it although all faults,  hicks and weak parts. Just a draft.
Once i have been started I couldn't stop really and at the end i added a track with synth and strings and I didn't payed any attention if the two-chords still would be stringent. Maybe there won't be a kitchen challenge than it wouldn't matter anyway. I guess i did it a bit strange by purpose again, sorry.

https://soundcloud.com/user-65096772/burn-draft-with-one-take-vocal

Burn

I want burn ice down
I want ice burn down
I want ice burn down
I want burn it  down

I don't need to prove
I don't need to prove
I will crush the rain
I make steam to move

I want ice burn down
Shape haze I will do
I won't have it frown
I will ask you too





Re: Burn
Reply #1 on: November 03, 2020, 13:28:48
Holaaaa. @Mo  ::heart::

Well, you say it's a rough draft, I think it's perfect like this ... I recognize some sounds but, although they may seem dissonant, they fit together very well in the sound spectrum.
I really like the repetitive melody and how you have tried some of the tracks that you have been putting.
I loved it, me encanta!!! ::heart::

Cuídate

Mora
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
https://vimeo.com/onacarom


Re: Burn
Reply #2 on: November 03, 2020, 14:45:56
I have gone through your song again and I have listened to it again ... And I still think the same ::heart:: ::heart:: ::heart:: ::heart::

Mora


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Re: Burn
Reply #3 on: November 03, 2020, 21:43:40
@Mo  - great song, love the references to Hot Springs & Geysers on Iceland. Super guitar playing too.
The end is a bit sudden, but otherwise I wouldn't change it.
new guitar 4-6-2020 https://soundcloud.com/oorlab/12string-demo1 12string Cort.


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Re: Burn
Reply #4 on: November 04, 2020, 09:07:13
Same here @Mo
Everytime you post a surprise.
Even the Stones released a single that stopped abrupt. So what?

I let the song grow on me, so I was back for 3 listens.
If an intelligent woman says that it's a draft, it's a draft. But then I hope you guide us in the sense of which direction you want to take it.
To me (also) it sounds fine, but if you want help, please tell us.

Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Burn
Reply #5 on: November 04, 2020, 10:59:13
« Last Edit: November 04, 2020, 11:02:36 by Mo »
it's a draft. But then I hope you guide us in the sense of which direction you want to take it.

Right @LePlongeur , i consider it as draft and followed an impulse to share this first workaround in the kitchen.
I'm not really sure about what direction it shell take or what kind of help I rather need.  I just know, it helps always very much reading any kind of thoughts about that let me see it with eyes of listener and then i may take this for further development or a next song. I'm also not sure if I continue this one, I still struggle a bit with the question of sense and how many effort and time I want spent. I decide that spontaneously by the fun I have with it because there is no any other reason to be busy with.

Also I'm not really conscious about doing surprises, it may help if you try to tell me what exactly surprise you but of course i just can take that as a statement of yours without question it more, i don't want just 'fishing for compliments'.


@oorlab I'm very happy about your observation!! Very cool , thank you for feedback me.

 I probably have to disappoint you in the way  to admit,  full of shame,  that neither me or any other guy play a real guitar here. I just played the Garageband. I thought i would mention it in further songs if I play guitar by myself or any other person would. Hard to admit but this is a very very weak point for me and i would love to change that into origin guitar tracks but i can't see a realistic way how to change by now.  Personally im not able to play as i hear it until 8-10 years will be over so i forced to use unreal instruments.


@Mora Amaro La Loba
I highly appreciate any  honestly commets of yours  and I'm glad you liked this in the end even its so..... collaged rather. I hear that sounds too and thougt, yes its weiered but  fits somehow. If I would work on this song i will try to match the tones better! ;D
Its also a draft becuse i realized soon that there a so much different options to express the words by using different styles and I rather i wanted exercise this different styles first before i record. But at least i took jut one of the first trial.......


Thank you for your time and listen, thats always a pleasure to me  @Mora Amaro La Loba , @oorlab  and @LePlongeur   ::thumb::


Edit: The sudden end... well... why its a sudden end? I think,  at one hand i could extend it but back when i recorded an right idea about wasn't present.  And at the other hand.... three minutes where already over and i absolutely don't wanted  bore due to much repetitions


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Re: Burn
Reply #6 on: November 04, 2020, 14:00:53
Hey @Mo I agree with some others in the thread. I think this is awesome and you don't need to do much more. Was that a banjo in there at some point? Maybe more of that! Very interesting mix of stuff going on here and a sweet jam.
You can't go back. You can't stand still. If the thunder don't get you. The lightning will.


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Re: Burn
Reply #7 on: November 04, 2020, 15:44:03
a sweet jam.

Exactly that is the missing term, a jam!  Right, draft is the wrong term it isn't a draft in that sense, it was a one-man-jam , Mo jamming with the Garageband LOL, what an eye opener!
Thank you so much  commenting and bring it up @GaryHynes , i really like it to see it like this.
Isn't a banjo but a Afghanistan Sand Rubab  https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubab


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Re: Burn
Reply #8 on: November 04, 2020, 17:59:38
« Last Edit: November 04, 2020, 18:03:42 by Dutchbeat »
WOW, that is awesome @Mo ....Fantastic in my opinion  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: :o :o :o

exciting!!!!  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

and...perhaps add some (crash) cymbals on the first count of the first measure of the parts, so just here and there, to accentuate where you increase the energy in the song

i like this a lot  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone::
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Burn
Reply #9 on: November 04, 2020, 22:19:08
neither me or any other guy play a real guitar here. I just played the Garageband.
You placed the guitar and chose the GB-sound, so you sort of 'played' it, in a writing sense, - not a performing sense.
 A guitarplayer could play along in a mix, without the GB guitar, but knowing at which place it should come in to the mix, at what point in the play that actor needs to come on stage.
looking forward following this thread and see how the song "Burn" develops.
Gruss


Re: Burn
Reply #10 on: November 05, 2020, 06:00:45
Holaaaa. @Mo  ::heart::

Well, you say it's a rough draft, I think it's perfect like this ... I recognize some sounds but, although they may seem dissonant, they fit together very well in the sound spectrum.
I really like the repetitive melody and how you have tried some of the tracks that you have been putting.
I loved it, me encanta!!! ::heart::

Cuídate

Mora

I agree. The vocals are sung very well and the rhythmic textures really make it special. The entire mood of the song  is intriguing and held my interest.
Create!


Re: Burn
Reply #11 on: November 05, 2020, 13:06:16
@Mo  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: Good Work!!


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Re: Burn
Reply #12 on: November 06, 2020, 07:56:07
@oorlab I see now! Your explain does much sense,  playing  means  performing and directing as well.
I'm glad you like it @Dutchbeat @CGHound  @Marcus Nalgaber thank you for feedback it.

@Dutchbeat I'll try to add some crash cymbals as you advice me once i will go on with this.
I guess probably i have to cut it back to the basic track of piano and bass is playing the  two chords if i want join with this the newest
kitchen challenge
, thank you for setting this up! Hopefully some more kitcheners will do us the favor and join for fun reason too. :)
I choosed dm and C, if somebody wonders which both they are.


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Re: Burn
Reply #13 on: November 06, 2020, 08:12:44
Wow - for a 'draft' this is really cool - very original and haunting actually - your voice is like some ethereal instrument that really hooks into you. It's a wonderful gift! I love the way it is sometimes jarring in a way you do not expect it to be. Great spikey guitar tones in there.

Great recording.
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Re: Burn
Reply #14 on: November 06, 2020, 22:03:35
good, gooood!

gr. Dan



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