• California
  • Started by Alex
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California
on: January 22, 2019, 22:57:56


It's been a while, and I spend some time travelling around America as I have always dreamed of doing. This song is a short piece I had been playing around with from before I went. Needs a lot more work but looking for suggestions as always! Thanks :)

https://soundcloud.com/alexxxiii/california

Lyrics:
California,
Dreaming of you,
From these bedroom walls of mine.

The open water,
makes me wonder,
If my dreams are too big for my mind.

Santa Barbara's,
where I'm after cause,
I want to breathe that ocean air.

Year, I heard California,
Will always look good on you,
so I want to wear it on my skin.

And if my life doesn't turn out quite the way I planned it
Well it's alright, cause I find myself back in California
overtime I close my eyes.


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Re: California
Reply #1 on: January 22, 2019, 23:20:45
Hey, Alex.....glad to see you here with a new song. I've missed your live and honest style.

This is a good one.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: California
Reply #2 on: January 23, 2019, 14:52:35
hi @Alex , good to hear from you again

a nice song sung with a great voice  ::thumb:: ::thumb::   ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone::
me, myself, and Pie


Re: California
Reply #3 on: January 24, 2019, 00:27:37
Lovely song :)


Re: California
Reply #4 on: January 24, 2019, 01:22:26
@Alex  You have a very nice timbre to your voice.  Soulful.  Your good sense of vocal rhythm makes it fun to listen to you sing.  Lyrics have a nice nostalgic longing, but also hope for the future.  From the way the song trails off, this appears to be a sketch.  But, it's definitely worth developing further.  Good luck! 


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Re: California
Reply #5 on: January 24, 2019, 02:21:13
Trust me to post something else than the rest. Not because I pride myself being different, but thatís the way it goes apparently.

So I would say, depending on what kind of feedback you look for/what kind of use you want to make of the song:
- if you want to celebrate the birth of the song /wonder if you want to develop the style further, press 1
- if you want to include the song  in a demo/ep or album, press 2

1
If 1, I would agree with @nicetalkintoya .
The song is ready for us to hear and enjoy.
That itís a bit rough? Who cares, we can enjoy the song you had in mind. We can only hope for more in this vein.

2
Nice and longing. Re-recording it with the aid of an extra guitar or cello would do miracle for this fragile one.
Iíd keep it small if I were you. Thereís so my belting and extravaganza going round that small songs like this can fit perfectly in what times like these need. Look at Melanie Safka did in the 60ís . Among mad-loose hippies she sat down quietly and sang songs about not eating animals. And apart from being happy to do things to her own liking, she earned enough to eat well.

3
I would be glad if you would post more.
Also from the hippy era: parafraze donít bogart the joint.
Poooooooooost another one
Just like the other one

Needless to say I like it!
Kind regards, Gus





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Re: California
Reply #6 on: January 24, 2019, 09:23:07
sounding fresh and honest, @Alex - I wouldn't do anything but make it longer. But whatever you decide, I hope to hear the next phase. May be you can keep this a travelling song - one that could be played (remembered, performed) on the road.

Bon voyage!
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: California
Reply #7 on: January 24, 2019, 13:02:35
Poooooooooost another one
Just like the other one

I'm with Gus on this.......I know you have more tunes in there @Alex;)

....and in the spirit of historical reference.......



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Re: California
Reply #8 on: January 24, 2019, 15:48:31
I lived in San Diego briefly once, this song makes me long for California sooo bad! Love it!


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Re: California
Reply #9 on: January 25, 2019, 16:26:07
More lyrics required for this one @Alex ... it's a travelling some for sure so the whole story needs to be told.

You introduced the idea of travelling so lyrically you've got to do the journey and go. Give us the full tale please :-)

I feel this bit is a repeating hook that keeps coming back, it's the bit in the song everybody knows by the end and are mouthing the words to.

Quote
And if my life doesn't turn out quite the way I planned it
Well it's alright, cause I find myself back in California overtime I close my eyes.

Story-wise  maybe they meet a lover or maybe the old adage 'life is always greener applies, or maybe they miss their folks back home.

whatever happens I can imagine the final  bittersweet hook to end it off. 

Quote
And if my life doesn't turn out quite the way I planned it
Well it's alright, cause I find myself back in California overtime I close my eyes.

A nice piece of work this.


 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::


 P.S. I could imagine some Uke on this a true backpacking instrument.
"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: California
Reply #10 on: January 26, 2019, 01:39:07
@Alex  I  enjoyed the melody and your vocals... the lyrics and way it fades away  make me hope for more, ( or other songs of your travels).
Happy trails ::thumb::

Robert


Re: California
Reply #11 on: January 29, 2019, 17:29:00
Very nice song. nice and sweet.
Remember Alex : your dreams are not too big for your mind!!!
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
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