• Closer Than A Tattoo
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Closer Than A Tattoo
on: January 07, 2019, 04:10:32
Pop rock nostalgia ( I like the 70`s California sound and tried for that style).
Comments on any aspect of the song/production are most welcome.

https://soundcloud.com/user-564042721/closer-than-a-tattoo 



      Closer Than A Tattoo

all I have is one picture
from our summer of love
standing on the bridge like you`re reading scripture
from the clouds above

I like to think it was me
put that spark in your eyes of flint
pressed the shutter couldn`t breathe
knowing you weren`t one to blink

train clattering round the bend
there`s no full stop at our story`s end

a tear of candlewax
hides the tree where we sheltered
the sun and moon my defences stood no chance
when you danced by the river

said we`re never going back
with our bodies and with ink
we`d stitch our fate make it fact
an indelible link

pulling out to the chains length
the best laid plans with all our strength

hearts too full
hearts too full for our lips to speak
if I could choose
choose the words a day with you to keep
clearer than a picture
closer than a tattoo

carry my dreams from the attic to the cellar
you and me girl in Kodachrome forever

hearts too full
hearts too full for our lips to speak
if I could choose
choose the words a day with you to keep
clearer than a picture
closer than a tattoo

© Robert Cordrey Dec. 2018



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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #1 on: January 07, 2019, 10:44:15
You have the right sort of voice for a song like this @robertkc .Some very good lyrics here in my opinion.
This could quite easily be an Eagles song to my ears.

You are on a roll at the moment with your songwriting.

Good Job

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::


"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #2 on: January 07, 2019, 12:36:47
This is a fantastic song. I covered some Eagles songs many years ago and this one definitely reminds me of those days back in the 70's.

I love that image of closer than a tattoo. Really liked the guitar work at around 2:20.

There is some seriously tight production going on throughout this tune. My only thought for possible improvement in the mix might be to see how it sounds with the vocals in the first verse tucked back just a touch to impart a bit more distance. I love where they are in the rest of the song with the full band behind them. Just a thought.

.......great piece of writing, performance and production.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #3 on: January 07, 2019, 16:41:24
I'll second...or is it third? That this is an excellent tune. Not quite the tight harmonies of the Eagles so I can't compare it directly to them. Still an amazing and hauntingly wonderful side harmony going on. Excellent mix too. It does have that nostalgic kind of sound.
You are quite the tune meister here lately  ::headphone::


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #4 on: January 08, 2019, 04:16:30
@MrBouzouki  Thank you for  your listen and kind comments.
@Leonard Scaper  Its good to hear I `m in the ballpark with the overall sound - the lyrics and music placing the song in that Eagles/Jackson Browne era was the aim.
I`ve been trying some things (suggested in this forum  ::thumb::)for cleaning up the muddy low end - its very heartening to know its doing some good.
I like that suggestion on the opening vocal levels- will have another listen there.
@Timothy Smith I appreciate that . Yes, just one harmony ( Christmas didn`t leave much recording time).Might add another later.

Robert


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #5 on: January 08, 2019, 05:09:13
I must admit to never being a great fan of that kind of music.
J.D.Louder wrote great songs but never won me over. And Linda Ronstadt was a woman who could sing almost anything, but chose California.
This song comes in and makes strings resonate in me I never knew I had.
I like it very much.
In other words, you did what Louder never got accomplished.

There's only one point though and probably you're going to hate me. The harmony was sung with another mic or with disregard to the proximity effect of the mic. I.e. sung closer to the mic. The proximity effect alters the characteristics of the mic. Maybe sung at night with you not wanting to belt out for fear of waking people?
If you think it's nitpicking? You are correct. But this is the thing that keeps it from sounding like perfectly well thought out. As a unity.

I too think you're getting better with every new post in a very rapid way.
Keep your eye on the sparrow. No one I knew then, understood what it meant. But there you go. I like it a lot.
Kind regards, Gus
 


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #6 on: January 08, 2019, 10:40:05
@LePlongeur ......that comment on proximity effect and maybe singing at night is great, Gus. I can't say that I noticed it, but if you did....I bet it's in there somehow.

I just think that is an excellent aspect of recording to highlight and could be worthy of a thread in the Songwriting Ingredients section.


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #7 on: January 08, 2019, 18:29:30
very beautiful @robertkc , i don't know anything about this genre, but it sounds good, i got some REM vibes from the track

you have some very creative songwriting going on  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
me, myself, and Pie


Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #8 on: January 08, 2019, 21:06:07
@robertkc good tune  ::thumb::
fly away and find my peace of mind...
http://soundcloud.com/man-of-simple-pleasures


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #9 on: January 09, 2019, 01:00:34
@LePlongeur  I`m chuffed (  British slang for pleased) you liked my California song despite your not getting on that bandwagon.
Your observation on the harmony only makes me a little less pleased-`cos you are correct! I sang that ( same mic) close due to lack of confidence more than anything ( a bit of time constraint too as it was one take). Now I have a rotten cold so won`t be reworking it any time soon.
I like @Leonard Scaper  suggestion for a thread on harmonies - there are some folks around here with tips hidden away no doubt.
I don`t know about keeping my eye on the sparrow- do keep an ear to the crows, though.

@Dutchbeat , @man of simple pleasures Thanks for listening!

Robert


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #10 on: January 09, 2019, 08:53:48
The main reason I never got used to California as a type of music, is because I thought it was too self possessed, too much rich people’s troubles (I lost my Rolex while surfing and now my girl friend doesn’t love me anymore), too much self pity. In Amsterdam we’ve got an expression for that but google translate has no way of nailing in down in English. May be all for the better. It’s rather rude.

This song contains the ‘language ‘, but not the disadvantages.

If you have no further plans with the song, I would leave it as it is. Who, outside the Kitchen, would hear it?
If you plan to optimize it for (for instance) distribution or inclusion on a CD/vinyl, then i’d re-record the part.
Too less self reflection is not an ok characteristic, but too much self doubt is only holding you/everyone back. Self doubt is a difficult thing to overcome. And the thing is, you have to do it on your own. If you ask aid from alcohol you’ve got two things that love you. Self doubt and alcohol. They love you, it’s difficult to get rid of them. Very difficult.

I promised @Leonard Scaper  to write a short piece about proximity. I’ll let you know when I posted it, @robertkc !
Kind regards, Gus





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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #11 on: January 09, 2019, 17:46:01
hi Gus @LePlongeur ....now you made try to guess what that Amsterdam word or expression  is....

you seem to have that effect.....that you make people think and wonder about all kind of things... ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

is it "kapsones-lijer"???  ???


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #12 on: January 09, 2019, 19:38:33
hi Gus @LePlongeur ....now you made try to guess what that Amsterdam word or expression  is....

you seem to have that effect.....that you make people think and wonder about all kind of things... ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

is it "kapsones-lijer"???  ???

Zelfbevlekkingsmuziek.
Kapsies is something else of course.
Vriendelijke groet, Gus


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #13 on: January 09, 2019, 19:59:02
@LePlongeur  I always have plans to improve  recordings, do a cd for posterity or something. Been at this DAW lark for three years now and the new songs always manage to keep the fixing /repairing/masterpeice plans  on the shelf...
btw- you are correct, Google translate wants nothing to do with that  Zelfbevlekkingsmuziek word :no:  I`ll take your image of that particularly California brand of angst as the cleaned up version.

Robert


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Re: Closer Than A Tattoo
Reply #14 on: January 09, 2019, 21:51:37
A beautiful ballad
The timbre of the voice is very beautiful and the interpretation seems to fit the text of the song very well
Very good work  ::thumb::



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