Cured

No production, performance or mixing advice please. 

Performed by Melissa - voice, Will - drums, Thomas - guitar and me Bill - keys

There was no programming beats or anything.

Looking for songwriting feedback only. See next section. 

Thanks all! 


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Hi everyone,

I was in a bad place when I wrote this .. or when I started writing it I guess.

I have no interest in production or performance advice. Thanks anyway. 

If you notice weaknesses in the songwriting ( ie something that songwriting snob judges would pick up on ) let me know. I'm considering entering it into a contest. Maybe or maybe not .....
If so I'd like to be ready for the inevitable song trashing session. 


I know it sounds dated like 2010. Eh ... I love 2010 music. That's when Tommy was my student and he likes it too. My son likes it too.
So whatever I guess.
If you don't know me: my wife sings, my son plays drums, I play keys, that's my former student on guitar .... I'm not firing any of the musicians. Thanks. 

 

Cured

Verse:
Bare my soul to the winemaker.
The baker writes my future on a cake.
This whiskey my acquaintance, now passionate love we make.

Pre-Chorus:
I’m as cured as I can ever be.
My heart don’t feel. My eyes don’t see.
I was sick with you. Now you’re sick of me.
That’s the way things have to be (but)
It’s okay.

Chorus:
It’s over but it’s okay.
Moved on from yesterday.
It’s over but it’s okay.
It’s okay.

Verse:
I got more problems from my therapist.
The psychic, she asks for my name.
My family says I’m “different” but I know we’re all the same.

Pre-Chorus:
I’m as cured as I can ever be.
My heart don’t feel. My eyes don’t see.
I was sick with you. Now you’re sick of me.
That’s the way things have to be (but)
It’s okay.

Chorus:
It’s over but it’s okay.
Moved on from yesterday.
It’s over but it’s okay.
It’s okay.

Bridge:
I’m not well
But I’m fine
I can tell
That I’m …

as cured as I can ever be.
My heart don’t feel. My eyes don’t see.
I was sick with you. Now you’re sick of me.
That’s the way things have to be ….

Chorus:
It’s over but it’s okay.
Moved on from yesterday.
It’s over but it’s okay.
It’s over and I’m cured.

I love this style ... 2010 influences, great, they should have to come back, the chorus is great and your wife has sung wonderfully.
I think it's one of the songs that I liked the most @Bill from November Sound

Lyrics? they fit perfectly in the music.

Merry Christmas

Mora

As a rule, I don’t label music by the year. Now and then, to give the context of a certain period, I can’t avoid that.
Labelling music according to music I like and music I don’t like is more to the point I think.
So, this is labelled: music I like. @Bill from November Sound
Kind regards, Gus

@Bill from November Sound 

Great song 

Congratulations 

This sounds good to me @Bill from November Sound. I'd enter it as it seems a strong song IMHO

 

Hi @Bill from November Sound   when listening to this I tried to keep in mind that it is a song writing contest not a performance show case. I guess you never know what judges are looking for or how much time they give to each song for a listen. I can't really tell what decade ,,,,,, it seems up to date to me, although I must admit modern music culture has left me behind.

Your fortunate to be working with such talented people. I imagine some of the contestants  will have hired demo singers and musicians.  Any way this seems as good a way as any to put yourself out there and I do hope it opens a door for you.

it is a very strong song @Bill from November Sound , sounds like a very well crafted hit song 

interesting how this song covers the entire spectrum from a sadness, a bittersweetness  all the way to a uplifting-ness that is awesome

i like that..."its over, but its okay" feeling of the music that is specifically mentioned , great musicians making a top song 

It's over but it's not ok!
I have to listen again and again........
Wonderful song, wonderful sung and wonderful drum
Love it
 

The only lyrical glitch that stood out to me (so could also stick out to a judge) is this lyric:

My heart don’t feel.

That's the only place in the song where Melissa uses a colloquialization like that so it stuck out to me. I know it's probably too late to re-track that line but it would work nicely as:

My heart won't feel

Great song...sounds fantastic.