• Cured
  • Started by Bill from November Sound
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Cured
on: December 12, 2020, 22:37:21
« Last Edit: December 13, 2020, 21:03:41 by Bill from November Sound »
No production, performance or mixing advice please.  :)

Performed by Melissa - voice, Will - drums, Thomas - guitar and me Bill - keys

There was no programming beats or anything.

Looking for songwriting feedback only. See next section.  :)

Thanks all!  :yes:


-------------------------

Hi everyone,

I was in a bad place when I wrote this .. or when I started writing it I guess.

I have no interest in production or performance advice. Thanks anyway.  ;)

If you notice weaknesses in the songwriting ( ie something that songwriting snob judges would pick up on ) let me know. I'm considering entering it into a contest. Maybe or maybe not .....
If so I'd like to be ready for the inevitable song trashing session.  :D


I know it sounds dated like 2010. Eh ... I love 2010 music. That's when Tommy was my student and he likes it too. My son likes it too.
So whatever I guess.
If you don't know me: my wife sings, my son plays drums, I play keys, that's my former student on guitar .... I'm not firing any of the musicians. Thanks.  ;)

 :shinyteeth:

Cured

Verse:
Bare my soul to the winemaker.
The baker writes my future on a cake.
This whiskey my acquaintance, now passionate love we make.

Pre-Chorus:
Iím as cured as I can ever be.
My heart donít feel. My eyes donít see.
I was sick with you. Now youíre sick of me.
Thatís the way things have to be (but)
Itís okay.

Chorus:
Itís over but itís okay.
Moved on from yesterday.
Itís over but itís okay.
Itís okay.

Verse:
I got more problems from my therapist.
The psychic, she asks for my name.
My family says Iím ďdifferentĒ but I know weíre all the same.

Pre-Chorus:
Iím as cured as I can ever be.
My heart donít feel. My eyes donít see.
I was sick with you. Now youíre sick of me.
Thatís the way things have to be (but)
Itís okay.

Chorus:
Itís over but itís okay.
Moved on from yesterday.
Itís over but itís okay.
Itís okay.

Bridge:
Iím not well
But Iím fine
I can tell
That Iím Ö

as cured as I can ever be.
My heart donít feel. My eyes donít see.
I was sick with you. Now youíre sick of me.
Thatís the way things have to be Ö.

Chorus:
Itís over but itís okay.
Moved on from yesterday.
Itís over but itís okay.
Itís over and Iím cured.






Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

Not currently posting music here but we're easy to find if you care to listen. November Sound will happily listen, follow, like, subscribe and repost for people who do the same. We get a lot of spam so let us know you're from the kitchen!


Re: Cured
Reply #1 on: December 12, 2020, 23:02:31
I love this style ... 2010 influences, great, they should have to come back, the chorus is great and your wife has sung wonderfully.
I think it's one of the songs that I liked the most @Bill from November Sound

Lyrics? they fit perfectly in the music.

Merry Christmas

Mora
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
https://vimeo.com/onacarom


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Re: Cured
Reply #2 on: December 13, 2020, 09:40:33
As a rule, I donít label music by the year. Now and then, to give the context of a certain period, I canít avoid that.
Labelling music according to music I like and music I donít like is more to the point I think.
So, this is labelled: music I like. @Bill from November Sound
Kind regards, Gus


Re: Cured
Reply #3 on: December 13, 2020, 18:47:04
@Bill from November Sound  ::dj:: :thumbsup: :praise:

Great song  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

Congratulations  :pompom: :dance: :pompom:


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Re: Cured
Reply #4 on: December 14, 2020, 18:24:21
This sounds good to me @Bill from November Sound. I'd enter it as it seems a strong song IMHO

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"Love and Life is all about connections"


Re: Cured
Reply #5 on: December 15, 2020, 00:59:34
Hi @Bill from November Sound   when listening to this I tried to keep in mind that it is a song writing contest not a performance show case. I guess you never know what judges are looking for or how much time they give to each song for a listen. I can't really tell what decade ,,,,,, it seems up to date to me, although I must admit modern music culture has left me behind.

Your fortunate to be working with such talented people. I imagine some of the contestants  will have hired demo singers and musicians.  Any way this seems as good a way as any to put yourself out there and I do hope it opens a door for you.

Vince


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Re: Cured
Reply #6 on: December 16, 2020, 16:50:42
it is a very strong song @Bill from November Sound , sounds like a very well crafted hit song  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

interesting how this song covers the entire spectrum from a sadness, a bittersweetness  all the way to a uplifting-ness that is awesome

i like that..."its over, but its okay" feeling of the music that is specifically mentioned , great musicians making a top song  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:





me, myself, and Pie


Re: Cured
Reply #7 on: December 17, 2020, 01:23:39
It's over but it's not ok!
I have to listen again and again........
Wonderful song, wonderful sung and wonderful drum
Love it
 ::heart:: ::heart:: ::heart::

:goatie:
Merry Christmas


Re: Cured
Reply #8 on: December 17, 2020, 20:02:19
The only lyrical glitch that stood out to me (so could also stick out to a judge) is this lyric:

My heart donít feel.

That's the only place in the song where Melissa uses a colloquialization like that so it stuck out to me. I know it's probably too late to re-track that line but it would work nicely as:

My heart
won't feel

Great song...sounds fantastic.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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