• Don't Ask
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  • Jurgen
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Don't Ask
on: October 12, 2019, 07:18:06
hi all,

I've had an idea for a song for a while. I posted the lyrics in the lyrics section of the kitchen a couple of months ago and got some good feedback.

It's changed a little more and I've taken out the bridge and shortened the chorus.

It's another song where I've tried to just write about what's around me rather than try and tell a story.

https://soundcloud.com/jurgen-joarder/dont-ask-demo/s-YSQjJ

This is a demo, and I've used Garageband so that I can use one of their "drummers" and create more of an upbeat song that I can take to my band. I tend to record ideas with just an acoustic and they all end up sounding like folk songs.

So this will hopefully become a song we do as a band with a bass and real drums.


Words....

verse
I been spending too much time watching tv
A British cop show that makes no sense to me
Coz it looks like everybody is guilty
It's making no sense

See those leaders up on the world's stage
Looking thoughtful while we try to contain our rage
They leave their stains on history's page
See those leaders


chorus
But don't ask me how I'm doing
I'll say I'm doing fine
Don't ask me how I'm doing
Don't ask me

verse
I need something to occupy my day
I've no religion or faith to help me pray
And I try not to dwell on yesterday
But I need something

Storm water's overflowing again
We've had three days of non-stop heavy rain
As it tries to wash away the stains
But they're in too deep

chorus


Re: Don't Ask
Reply #1 on: October 12, 2019, 15:36:35
« Last Edit: October 15, 2019, 17:54:41 by Mora Amaro La Loba »
@Jurgen Hola @Jurgen

Your song has reminded me of a poetry I did talking about this, don't ask me, I will answer this ... It's really an emotional isolation.
You have also reflected what many of us think watching television, whether it's news or other nonsense ...
(It's been more than a year since we removed television from home.)

I find your song has the strength of the sincerity and draws perfectly a critic moment in the life of many people.


I really liked the choir.
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


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Re: Don't Ask
Reply #2 on: October 12, 2019, 16:03:36
I really like what you are doing these days @Jurgen ......the way you are demoing your material in such a wonderfully raw form like this. The guitar, vocals and drums arrangement makes for an excellent showcase to demo a song like this. It allows us to truly appreciate the essence of the song.

It's great to be able to listen to your excellent playing and singing in such an unpretentious format. This one is going to work very well with the full band.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: Don't Ask
Reply #3 on: October 12, 2019, 21:59:20
This will work great with a band for sure!  One suggestion (keep or sweep), the verse is Bm, A, Fm# right? How about altering the last half (or just the last line) to get some variation? How about going D,  Bm Fm# or something like that?
Let man's petty nations tear themselves apart
My land's only borders lie around my heart


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Re: Don't Ask
Reply #4 on: October 14, 2019, 23:48:48
Thanks @Mora Amaro La Loba - the idea of the song originally was around not asking me how I feel as I'll just make something up so that people feel better. People ask but often don't really want to hear how you really feel.

Anyway, that all got a bit deep and I ended up writing about stuff around me (like the TV!). Unfortunately I have the TV on all the time, mainly becaue I've got tinnitus which isn't too bad most of the time but I do need to fill the silence with some background noise most of the time.

Not sure if you remember this song @Leonard Scaper  - I had the words up and you gave me some really good ideas for a bridge. I couldn't make it  fit with the changes I did to this song. But I've still got some ideas around "images of you still so refined" etc.

I stopped using Garageband for demos and got lazy recording just with my phone and an acoustic. But now I plug in the guitar and use a pick and it totally changes what I play and how the song ends up. I've changed string type and also pick (now trying jazz picks) and it's interesting (to me) how just these little changes, impact the sound and ideas that come out.

And thanks for your comments - I'm hoping this will be a good band song and the singing is getting easier as I get less self conscious about it.

Good idea @Jambrains  - it needs something and I'll have a play with that D (and good ears - those are the chords!)

cheers


Re: Don't Ask
Reply #5 on: October 17, 2019, 00:46:13
Good bones on this @Jurgen- we can hear the band already. I like the opening verse -sets up the feeling of confusion linked by random mundane events.
I agree with @Jambrains that a change in the last line of the verses would create a good dynamic going into the chorus.
Look forward to the band version!

Robert


Re: Don't Ask
Reply #6 on: October 18, 2019, 12:43:28
It’s been a while @Jurgen since I’ve heard one of your songs - this is great! Love the lyrics - and as others have says this will sound even better in a full band production... your vocals sound fab - much more confident than back in the day I think! Wonderful to hear you again!


K


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Re: Don't Ask
Reply #7 on: October 22, 2019, 23:49:04
Thank you @robertkc and @Zedd  - appreciate you listening and also your comments.

Thanks for the comments on my singing Karen - it's not been an easy transition into singing especially singing live but I'm glad I finally made the effort. It's good to sing your own songs even if not perfect.

cheers!



xx
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