• Dust In The Wind
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Dust In The Wind
on: January 24, 2019, 23:19:23
Hi! I'd like to post here this new song of mine.
It's called "Dust In The Wind", I made it with Garageband for Ipad using loops and playing some parts like the bass lines and the basic piano chords.
I'd like to know what do you think about it  :)
Any suggestion is well accepted, especially regarding the lyrics...I'm italian, so it's quite possible that there are some mistakes that I need to fix  ;)

Link to the song:
https://soundcloud.com/claudiogeromino/dust-in-the-wind-1


Lyrics:

Dust in the wind is what we are
Always searching a meaning, we go so far
But what we are, tear us apart
We fight, we fight, we fight leaving the scars
But we

We'll turn into ashes, so what are we fighting for?
We'll turn into ashes, so what are we waiting for?
We could just love, fill our souls, share our worlds.
We'll turn into ashes, can we just live some more?

Dust in the wind is what we are
We make wars just aiming to tear this world apart
And what we are will make us all fall
The world won't watch while we
fight for some gold
Why can't we just understand that

We'll turn into ashes, so what are we fighting for?
We'll turn into ashes, so what are we waiting for?
We could just love, fill our souls, share our worlds
We'll turn into ashes, ooh

Can't we just give up?
All these fights have lost even that bit of sense they had long time ago
Can't we just hold our hands? Can we use our time in better ways, or are we really doomed to just being sad?

We'll turn into ashes...



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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #1 on: January 25, 2019, 14:14:30
I really like this. Your voice and vocal performance really make this song.

The only small lyric change I see is

But what we are, tears us apart


These are very good lyrics. You have a message and it comes across.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #2 on: January 25, 2019, 15:55:38
Very nice @Clanik92 - I particularly like how you attack certain aspects of the vocals so the emotion comes across. I also like the softer sections too ... they work well.

Lyrically it's quite a thought-provoking song and certain a song for the current times. ( a modern day peace song if you like).

Musically it's seems an interesting arrangement and overall it's catchy.

Lots to like with this one.

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::
"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #3 on: January 26, 2019, 01:46:19
@Leonard Scaper Thanks for your comment and for making me notice that little mistake  :) I'll surely fix it the moment I record again the vocals for the song

@MrBouzouki Thank you very much, especially for what you said about the vocals!  :)


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #4 on: January 26, 2019, 08:41:59
Overall nice song Clanik92. I especially liked how the bass changes to a different pulse-like groove in the second verse. It gives the piece a nice contrast and variety. I was wondering if maybe you might tweak the title a little as there is already a very famous song call Dust in the Wind?


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #5 on: January 26, 2019, 11:42:06
I was wondering if maybe you might tweak the title a little as there is already a very famous song call Dust in the Wind?

Thanks! for your comment! Actually, the original title was "Ashes", but I changed it because there was already a song with the same name in my repertory. I don't know how else I can name it...any idea?   ;D


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #6 on: January 26, 2019, 13:38:40
I was wondering if maybe you might tweak the title a little as there is already a very famous song call Dust in the Wind?

Thanks! for your comment! Actually, the original title was "Ashes", but I changed it because there was already a song with the same name in my repertory. I don't know how else I can name it...any idea?   ;D
[/quote

How about "We'll Turn into Ashes"?


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #7 on: January 27, 2019, 03:46:02
@bear bard I was thinking about that too, it could fit! I have to think about it! Thanks, anyway! :)


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #8 on: January 27, 2019, 10:07:08
Hi @Clanik92 ... how about simply "Turn to Ashes" if you wanted another alternative.

I think the idea suggested by @bear bard is a good one as it's the phrase that people will hook onto.


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #9 on: January 28, 2019, 16:39:21
Hi @Clanik92 ... how about simply "Turn to Ashes" if you wanted another alternative.

I think the idea suggested by @bear bard is a good one as it's the phrase that people will hook onto.

They're all very good alternatives! I think I like yours a bit more, I feel it like it's more immediate than "We'll turn into Ashes", even if it's true that it's the main phrase of the chorus. Thanks!


Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #10 on: January 29, 2019, 17:47:14
Very good song and lyrics.
I like it a lot when there are two voices and how you sing this
"we fight leaving the scars
But we.."

As for the production, I think that (at least to my liking) the bass is a bit strong, even if it counteracts the string
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #11 on: January 29, 2019, 18:27:26
This is impressive.

If you hadn't remarked about how you made the track I would have guessed you used better gear. You put this together in a way that really catches the listener, especially the chorus and "we turn to ashes".  Yes we do but the best part of us lives on  ;D

The track itself sounds close to master ready. You may disagree, but to me it seems that something needs to happen in the mix to make the vocal mix better with the music. It might be experimenting with different reverb for the vocal. Ideally exporting the stems into a large DAW will give you the most flexibility. You could then add  things like a reverb bus and even out the track to feel like a combined thing. Console emulation often helps to "glue" a track together. Garageband is great but it is limited.

To import into a DAW with these capabilities get the music key and tempo into the DAW.


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #12 on: January 29, 2019, 18:27:26
@Mora Amaro La Loba Thanks for your feedback! I think you're right, the bass is a bit strong, maybe I'll lower it a bit  :)


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Re: Dust In The Wind
Reply #13 on: January 29, 2019, 18:41:08
@Timothy Smith Thanks for your comment! I agree with you, the vocals could mix better with the music...I'm still pretty new to the mixing world, but I'll surely try to experiment like you suggest!  :)



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