• Enjoy The View
  • Started by M57
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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #15 on: November 14, 2018, 19:35:27
@M57  First off - I like your stripped down approach to the production, and you have an engaging warm voice  with  a range many of us would like to own ;).
I`m not sure where the latest version I`m listening to fits with all the feedback you`ve had, but for me its coming into focus with the " enjoy the view" refrain.  I thought that last line repeated /held might work to close out .
 I like longer intros than is the norm now, but  @Leonard Scaper  makes a good point about shortening it up here.
I`m often caught in multiple images in my writing , which the poet in me likes, but sometimes they distract.
You are  open enough to take apart your lyrics which is admirable.
I`ll be back tolisten to this again.

Robert


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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #16 on: November 14, 2018, 20:36:16
Great guitar start @M57 -  I'm hearing a high lonesome pedal steel or slide guitar in my head over the top of this extended intro .
I think it something like this would add another texture without dominating or overplaying. I posted on the track where I thought something like this might come in.

Nice Vox as I expect from you. You do a great job of capturing the timbre of your voice. when you record it.

How you sing Sometimes and Maybe don't work for me in the context of this song. I feel you need to decide if you are going high or low as I don't feel it really works like you might have intended.

This could end up being quite a special song

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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #17 on: November 15, 2018, 00:13:18
@M57  First off - I like your stripped down approach to the production, and you have an engaging warm voice  with  a range many of us would like to own ;).
I`m not sure where the latest version I`m listening to fits with all the feedback you`ve had, but for me its coming into focus with the " enjoy the view" refrain.  I thought that last line repeated /held might work to close out .
 I like longer intros than is the norm now, but  @Leonard Scaper  makes a good point about shortening it up here.
I`m often caught in multiple images in my writing , which the poet in me likes, but sometimes they distract.
You are  open enough to take apart your lyrics which is admirable.
I`ll be back tolisten to this again.

Robert

Hey Robert, thanks for the feedback and comments.  Truth be told, I hate writing lyrics.  If I didn't have to write 'em, I don't doubt I'd be writing a dozen+ songs a year instead of one or two, and I need all the help I can get.  I'm much more confident about the music side of things, and of course my standards are probably too high when it comes to marrying the two.  I'm all over your suggestion to repeat those lines.  Right now, I'm just going with the barebones rhythm section (bass, acoustic, drums) while I nail down the final lyric and decide on the final form, etc.  As you can probably tell, that guitar part is super dense (it's tons of fun to play) with the strum combined with those interior lines, and any sweetening I add (strings, BVs, mandolin, etc) will cover it - so I need to make some production decisions.  Sounds like you like it pretty stripped down.  Me - I'll be experimenting.  For instance, I think those interior moving guitar lines just sound muddy - I'll be tempted to EQ them down a bit, and double them with an electric guitar - al la Tom Petty.  I'll definitely be adding BVs, and one of my friends insists that I should try adding piano (which is my instrument these days).

Great guitar start @M57 -  I'm hearing a high lonesome pedal steel or slide guitar in my head over the top of this extended intro .
I think it something like this would add another texture without dominating or overplaying. I posted on the track where I thought something like this might come in.

Nice Vox as I expect from you. You do a great job of capturing the timbre of your voice. when you record it.

How you sing Sometimes and Maybe don't work for me in the context of this song. I feel you need to decide if you are going high or low as I don't feel it really works like you might have intended.

This could end up being quite a special song


Thanks, Mr. B.

Yeah, this one develops slowly.  It's partly a function of that long drawn out transitional strum with a lick every 4 bars, and you really need to play it out to 16 bars every time.  I could try 8, but I just like the way it grooves.    Good think I don't do this for a living, huh?

I thought of pedal steel, and I know a player.  Then I thought of fiddle and mando.. So many possibilities..  That's what makes this so much fun, right?


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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #18 on: November 18, 2018, 04:32:50
« Last Edit: November 18, 2018, 13:28:19 by M57 »
Making a few tweaks here and there.   The last line of the lyric is not my fave..

Adding some electric guitar to fill things out.  I might end up using some of  it.

Experimenting with BVs.

In order to shorten things (and get to the chorus faster) I'm also thinking of editing out the first groove section so that the solo acoustic intro goes directly to the 1st verse.


Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #19 on: November 18, 2018, 13:52:41
Hi! I like the sound, the mix, and I like very much this melody
"Because sometimes the questions sound more and more like a riddle
And maybe the answers lie somewhere in the middle
You gotta find your happy dance and let it settle in the groove
Everybody's got their favorite moves
The smallest of dams can decide which way a river runs
And young dreams can grow up and turn into different ones
Well you can change your mind but you'll never find the road that's meant for you
Not if you can't enjoy the view"

A very pleasant to listen to the song.
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow


Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #20 on: November 21, 2018, 00:47:39
I like reading your reviews @M57 , but this isn't a review so much as just to say I like your song.  The imagery at the start gets my mind working, for example,

"Bright red Adirondack
And a softly setting sun "

makes me seem like I could be sitting there than if you would have said " I'm sitting in a chair watching the sun go down." and so on.

Vince






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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #21 on: November 24, 2018, 04:43:41
I've been working on a major update.  Rockin' it out with a bunch of guitars.


Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #22 on: November 24, 2018, 12:24:26
 ::heart:: love the melody ::heart::
              Beautiful Song
                      ::heart::
also a goat understands a joke


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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #23 on: November 24, 2018, 14:45:10
I've been working on a major update.  Rockin' it out with a bunch of guitars.

Looking forward to that.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #24 on: November 24, 2018, 15:45:33
I think this is great...lovely flow, nice hooks, good builds etc.

The overall mix is a bit thick especially when the vox are doubled on the choruses.

I also think the lyrics pack in a huge number of themes and images, plenty that could be shared around the rest of a triple album ;-)

dB/


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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #25 on: November 25, 2018, 07:51:49
So here’s the thing...I like this song....the chorus lifts nicely....the music sounds fab to me.....good mix.....I really like the chorus lyrics especially. I just reckon it could be a lot shorter. 4 mins at the most. Now obviously this is your song and you can do whatever you want, I have 5 min songs aswell,  it just depends if you’re writing for you, or writing to pitch for a sync is all? 45 seconds is a loooong intro and in my opinion that first chorus could be cut in half. Trim the fat is what I’m saying. However, if you’re not at all worried about that kind of stuff and you are just writing for you, then congrats on a nice song.😄👍🏻


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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #26 on: November 25, 2018, 12:43:22
The overall mix is a bit thick especially when the vox are doubled on the choruses.
I also think the lyrics pack in a huge number of themes and images, plenty that could be shared around the rest of a triple album ;-)
dB/

Thanks Dave, Agree that things are "thick."  Maybe too much so, but I can't help myself.  More is better, right?


I really like the chorus lyrics especially<<
in my opinion that first chorus could be cut in half<<
Trim the fat<<

Absolutely, Five minutes is normally too long for public consumption, but cutting a chorus in half (the best part by your reckoning), when I only sing it twice in the song is probably not the best option.  Luckily, this is the "album" version.  The radio-ready version (which I'm pretty sure will never exist) would probably see cuts in some of those instrumental breaks.  Really, the reason this is so long (and I think I've mentioned this before in this thread) is that the cadences develop slowly.   Think Tom Petty's Free Falling where there's a guitar lick between every phrase.  I haven't checked but I'll bet that's a 5 or 6 minute tune.

I like reading your reviews @M57 , but this isn't a review so much as just to say I like your song.  The imagery at the start gets my mind working, for example,

"Bright red Adirondack
And a softly setting sun "

makes me seem like I could be sitting there than if you would have said " I'm sitting in a chair watching the sun go down." and so on.

Vince

I prefer lyrics that offer a visceral way to experience the world of the story/message.  In a lot of my reviews where I'm critical of a lyric, it's not uncommon that the reason is because there's little or no imagery. I probably have no business doing so. Honestly, I think my lyrics range from mediocre to good - and generally speaking I hate to write lyrics, though I will admit that I do obsess about them.  I'm never 100% happy with them, so I really appreciate when someone finds value in them.  Thanks, Vince.


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Re: Enjoy The View
Reply #27 on: November 25, 2018, 13:22:33
Haha! Yes! You will have to forgive me...it was VERY early when I wrote that review!! You are right...in a song with only two choruses...cutting one up would be a terrible idea. My bad! If there were three, then yes, but two...no and I totally get it, some of my fave songs in the world are bloody long, including “free falling”, it was only if you were gonna pitch it mate.



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