• First love, last love
  • Started by SteveAlton
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First love, last love
on: July 03, 2019, 19:53:22
https://soundcloud.com/stevealtonian/first-love-last-love-4

Acoustic/Vocal/BGV's to see where the tune is at.....This will be recorded with my usual studio guys in Nashville...Genre will be Country. But before we go there I want input on the song itself....All comments are welcome

First love, last love
© 2019 Steve Altonian

Moonlight dances upon your hair
Your eyes light up the sky
You slip your hand inside of mine
You hold me tight and smile a little smile

I feel your heart beating underneath my skin
I kiss your tender lips and whisper in your ear

First love, last love
Sharing dreams and memories
First love, last love
Sometimes baby, love is meant to be

I’ve come to call you my best friend
You’re a candle to my soul
A yellow rose in the desert snow
I have grown from the seeds you’ve sown

Girl you know me a bit better than myself
You gently show me exactly who I am

First love, last love
Sharing dreams and memories
First love, last love
Sometimes baby, love is meant to be

BRIDGE
Still can taste that first kiss
It gets sweeter and sweeter all the time
You’re my favorite song
My love keeps burning strong…….for you

First love, last love
Sharing dreams and memories
First love, last love
Sometimes baby, love is meant to be
Sometimes baby, love is meant to be...


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Re: First love, last love
Reply #1 on: July 03, 2019, 20:05:39
@SteveAlton , welcome to the forum  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: thanks for joining  ::thumb:: ::thumb::

and for sharing your song, it sounds great  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: First love, last love
Reply #2 on: July 03, 2019, 22:51:33
I think this is a really well constructed song with a great hook chorus and a really good bridge. You know what you are up to here.  :)

Here's one suggestion....

You slip your hand inside of mine ....."inside" doesn't work for me . That's not really what you do when you take someone's hand, right? Consider......You slip your hand gently into mine.......seems to fit well.

Welcome to The Kitchen, btw.
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Re: First love, last love
Reply #3 on: July 04, 2019, 10:46:08
Welcome to the Kitchen dude.
Really strong song, thee chord progression is a good hook and the song flows nicely in it's current format.
The chorus is really strong and catchy "First looooooove" a real sing a long.


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Re: First love, last love
Reply #4 on: July 04, 2019, 11:49:49
I think this is a really well constructed song with a great hook chorus and a really good bridge. You know what you are up to here.  :)

Here's one suggestion....

You slip your hand inside of mine ....."inside" doesn't work for me . That's not really what you do when you take someone's hand, right? Consider......You slip your hand gently into mine.......seems to fit well.

Welcome to The Kitchen, btw.

This is constructively put into words @Leonard Scaper .
I started an explanation, but didn’t quite finish it in a credible way.
The subtleties of a foreign language.....

Nice piece of work @SteveAlton .
If this is the outline of what’s to come, I feel fine about it.
Welcome!
Kindregards, Gus


Re: First love, last love
Reply #5 on: July 05, 2019, 16:48:31
I think this is a really well constructed song with a great hook chorus and a really good bridge. You know what you are up to here.  :)

Here's one suggestion....

You slip your hand inside of mine ....."inside" doesn't work for me . You slip your hand gently into mine


I'll have to look deeper.  I do have a tendency to make choices instinctively on words based on my "singing style" & ennunciation and phrasing over the perfect word that doesn't "fit my cadence".  May sound dumb, but I personally will take a lesser phrase if it sounds the best it can over the better phrase that to me sounds average.  Bad habit probably....The way this line
"flows" with each syllable I would have a hard time re-creating with the suggested lyric change.  While your wording is more correct, the one in place sings perfectly.  Hence my dilemna.  But, I will look at it as this tune will be brought to my producer very soon.  Your point is valid and I will delve inot it.  Very astute observation, which I appreciate...

Glad you noticed the bridge.  My first couple really, really sucked.......


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Re: First love, last love
Reply #6 on: July 06, 2019, 21:18:35
A nice sound @SteveAlton ....

One idea with the BV on the 'You slip your hand Inside of Mine' line is having them coming in at  'Inside of Mine'  to get a  'vocal bloom' on the end of that phrase.

I feel the BV starting at 0:45 up to 0:50 could crescendo more to give a more dynamic swell at that point, particularly since you are going into the chorus at that point.

I realise this is a demo but I thought it worth mentioning it.

I'd be interested to hear what you are considering with instrumentation.
I reckon some subtle pedal steel could really fit with this.  Something like a simple descending F# > D# > C#  > B -- B  line perhaps ?

It's got all the elements of a good song in my book and lyrically it's well delivered well so the story comes across.

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"Love and Life is all about connections"


Re: First love, last love
Reply #7 on: July 09, 2019, 17:47:08
Welcome to the Kitchen dude.
Really strong song, thee chord progression is a good hook and the song flows nicely in it's current format.
The chorus is really strong and catchy "First looooooove" a real sing a long.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.  Yeah, a sing a-long is always really cool.....


Re: First love, last love
Reply #8 on: July 10, 2019, 21:20:43
« Last Edit: July 11, 2019, 21:53:50 by Mora Amaro La Loba »
A so relaxing ballad @SteveAlton !It is a balanced song with a very natural sound!  ::thumb::
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
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Re: First love, last love
Reply #9 on: July 11, 2019, 21:45:06
A nice sound @SteveAlton ....


I'd be interested to hear what you are considering with instrumentation.
I reckon some subtle pedal steel could really fit with this.  Something like a simple descending F# > D# > C#  > B -- B  line perhaps ?

It's got all the elements of a good song in my book and lyrically it's well delivered well so the story comes across.

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::

They are cutting the Rhythm tracks today.  2 acoustics 2 electrices, Bass, Drums,  Piano, Fiddle & my Producer is a Pedal Steel player in Nashville,.  He said he's gonna add modern steel & he never disappoints....I'm feeling it...

Thanks for the input



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