• Flash Freeze (Hollis meets Bach)
  • Started by oorlab
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
  • oorlab
  • Chef de Partie
  • *
  • savoir vivre

    • 880


    • 339
    • Yesterday at 23:19:58
    • netherlands
  • more
Flash Freeze (Hollis meets Bach)
on: March 30, 2019, 10:50:44
Ahoy fellow kitchensongwriters,

Did an instrumental to accompany a clip made for a friend's pop-up book collection and (eclectic move) his father's super 8 movies collection.
Then I thought the groove sounded 'okay-ish' and I might try some lyrics and some singing on it.

The title I got from an interview in the Rolling Stone with Nancy Pelosi, where the term "Flash freeze' caught my eye.
In the end part I had some lines which sounded silly (I always loved you and would stand with you) - and I turned to Watershed by Mark Hollis, where I borrowed the term song asale. Not sure what it means.

The Bach influence came in via the Firebird VST plugin https://www.tone2.com/firebird2.html that has great arp patches and is easy to use (plug and play). Quite CPU intensive though for my old-skool windows 7 setup , but worth it.
https://soundcloud.com/oorlab/flash-freeze

Be ready,
for the flash freeze.
Expecting,
the crash flood.
Standing on the lee side
at the turn of the tide.

Trouble I hear
Trouble I see,
someone is coming after me
What did I do?
Where did I err in vain?

Be weary,
a song asale.
Oh random,
error in in midflight fail.
Bounding boxes,
layer of purpose.

A clip with an instrumental version of this track can be seen here:



recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


  • DonMar
  • Patissier
  • *
  • Karma Hunter

    • 81


    • 18
    • June 25, 2019, 18:53:52
    • Delft, Netherlands
  • more
Re: Flash Freeze (Hollis meets Bach)
Reply #1 on: March 30, 2019, 12:38:24
« Last Edit: March 30, 2019, 15:33:10 by DonMar »
Hi @oorlab. As a non-musician, I can’t say anything riveting about music technicalities or techniques. I’ll say though that – for me − the  lyrics match the music nicely, and the music & melody are pleasing to the ear. :) As is the sparseness of the lyric.

As a Canadian from the wintry backwoods of northern Ontario, I certainly know about flash freezes. So I like the use of the term in V1 line 1.  :D

Because the term ‘crash flood’ isn’t idiomatic, I’d suggest changing it to ‘flash flood’ which is a commonly used term for sudden, dramatic flooding. It also gives you a nice parallel construction with ‘flash freeze’.

Line 5 is very pretty, though I think it could form a stronger connection between lines 4 and 6. Because being on the lee side is to be in a sheltered position, maybe use a verb stronger than ‘standing’ (or an adjective) to indicate how the narrator might be feeling as he awaits the dramatic changes. Something like ‘fearful’ might work. Plus you get nice alliterations with ‘f’.  ;)

In V2 line 5, the term ‘err in vain’ is confusing in the context.  To ‘err’ means to make a mistake. So the narrator seems to be asking where he went wrong but without success. Did you mean where did he go wrong unintentionally? One way to resolve this would be to use ‘act’ instead of ‘err’.

In V2, the term ‘song asale’ is confusing. (Even in the Hollis lyric.  :D )
I wonder whether he meant ‘song asail’ (sometimes written 'a-sail'), which immediately conjures up an image of a song journeying like a boat. (The word ‘a-sail’ can be seen in old folk songs about ships, boats, etc.) It then also becomes your own word rather Hollis’s. ;)

In V3, lines 5&6 are obscure, whereas the imagery in V1 & 2 – while still semi-abstract − creates a recognisable scenario for the reader/listener to launch from. In line 6, I suggest  ‘layers’. I don’t know what to make of ‘bounding boxes’. Are you referring to constraints, to be bound by conventions (or anything else), to be boxed in, to have boundaries imposed? Perhaps you can re-think this line?

I hope the comments/suggestions are useful. In any case, keep or sweep.  :)

Donna

V1
Be ready
for the flash freeze
Expecting
the flash flood
Fearful on the lee side
at the turn of the tide

V2
Trouble I hear
Trouble I see
someone is coming after me
What did I do?
Where did I act in vain?

V3
Be weary
a song a-sail
Oh random
error in a mid-flight fail
Bounding boxes
layers of purpose
Honour the earth. Without It, we'd be nowhere. - D.D.


Re: Flash Freeze (Hollis meets Bach)
Reply #2 on: March 30, 2019, 13:58:17
Hi @oorlab
Very well. Olé !!

I like the intro that approaches and moves away until your voice appears.
Maybe I would put a little more reverb on the drums ...
The voice is in a perfect plane and the instruments surround it well. It has exotic, oriental touches that contrasted with the guitar.
I like very much the colors of the track.  ::thumb::
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


  • oorlab
  • Chef de Partie
  • *
  • savoir vivre

    • 880


    • 339
    • Yesterday at 23:19:58
    • netherlands
  • more
Re: Flash Freeze (Hollis meets Bach)
Reply #3 on: March 31, 2019, 00:17:58
@Mora Amaro La Loba  - merci! Reverb on drums will be done, in the next round!
@DonMar  - many thanks for the extensive and inspiring comments. I wasn't aware that Flash Freezes actually exist. I took it from a Pelosi interview . https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/nancy-pelosi-trump-interview-797209/ where it was written between quotation marks.

I sure like to try your suggestions in a new version - and of course will credit you.
But I also like to keep A song asale - Hollis' lyrics have (for me at least) a sort of inner logic and special feel. I guess it is about a song "for sale" - but a double meaning with asail could well be possible.

Crash flood was an image from a book I read about the floods in the Netherlands, 1953 - known as The Disaster (De Ramp, or Watersnoodramp)... floods were so sudden that houses crashed...

"Err" I meant in the sense of roaming - like in "no particular place to go'. And I liked the sound-taste of it...

The "error in a mid-flight fail" relates to the recent 737 mx accidents. The "Bounding boxes" is a term I picked up when learning about object recognition in pictures.

My lyrics tend to be a bit impressionistic, and serve the music more thatn the other way around.
I like to collaborate with lyricists - like @smajor - and possibly you too?

Cheers


  • smajor
  • Rotisseur
  • *
  • Karma Hunter

    • 423


    • 167
    • Yesterday at 19:04:48
    • Kingman, Arizona USA
    • https://soundcloud.com/smajor1
  • more
Re: Flash Freeze (Hollis meets Bach)
Reply #4 on: March 31, 2019, 01:18:58
« Last Edit: March 31, 2019, 03:54:26 by smajor »
Hi @oorlab,

Thanks for the shout out, Dick  :)

I'm not sure I see my lyrics as being, for the most part, "impressionistic" although that's certainly one way I go. I see myself more as coming from a vein of Bob Dylan.  Who plows a similar territory.

"Flash Freeze" reminds me of the French poets I read in my youth. Elliptical meaning with a hard core of truth.

Let's not give up our truth.

What we all, in my estimation, should be fighting for hardest is for meaning. For what means most in our lives. What gives our lives meaning. For what makes us feel most connected. For what brings us down to the earth.  And what we can do to save Her.

Later,
Stan

I'm a lyricist seeking music writers to work with.


  • Leonard Scaper
  • Global Moderator
  • Executive Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Guest Chef

    • 3491


    • 1115
    • Today at 01:45:32
    • Terra Firma
  • more
Re: Flash Freeze (Hollis meets Bach)
Reply #5 on: March 31, 2019, 14:09:34
What an interesting song this is! The unique rhythm of the beginning and the way your vocal comes in is really captivating.......all throughout, really.

@DonMar ...I loved reading your perspectives on some of the lyrics and I found myself hearing the same things. Crash flood could work but err in vain is definitely confusing. I do think act in vain would work there. And, yeah....song a'sail.

I love that guitar work at 1:30.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason



xx
What about Bach?

Started by Dutchbeat on The kitchen café

6 Replies
306 Views
Last post April 09, 2014, 22:01:40
by Dutchbeat
xx
solos from Queen....and Bach

Started by Dutchbeat on The kitchen café

8 Replies
435 Views
Last post May 13, 2015, 22:49:03
by Mar T.
xx
FLASH COMP - THE ONE MINUTE SONG

Started by habiTat on Challenges

18 Replies
765 Views
Last post September 05, 2014, 03:02:05
by CrystalSuzy
xx
SUSPEND MY KARMA! (one minute flash song)

Started by CrystalSuzy on Songs for review

2 Replies
281 Views
Last post September 11, 2014, 13:29:39
by CrystalSuzy
xx
Original Solo Violin Prelude inspired by Bach Chaconne

Started by OscoBosco on Live performances

4 Replies
404 Views
Last post December 07, 2018, 21:43:11
by MrBouzouki