• Fly Away
  • Started by Clanik92
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Fly Away
on: March 30, 2019, 00:27:09
Hi! I'd like to have some opinions about this new song of mine, especially the lyrics...I'm pretty sure there's at least one horrible mistake I didn't see ahah

https://soundcloud.com/claudiogeromino/fly-away-original-song

Lyrics:

Fly high, my friend
All this time you had your wings clipped
I know it's hard to find a place in this world
sometimes so full of darkness that you feel crushed and so alone
Stand up, don't let this life be harder than it's meant to be
Don't let all that's going on outside drain your light away
You can be free of all these chains if only you want to
Don't let this dark be your life, you know you can have so much more

'Cause you don't know when the storm will come
You can't wait for this fire to burn
You can shine like sunrise, oh
You can win your place in this world
Please don't sacrifice your light just to be alive
when you can let it always shine
You can fly away, you can fly high
Don't be afraid to be alive

Fly high, my friend
If this ends, it will be with thunder
Don't wanna live drowning in my mistakes and
what's done is done
Now we can fly away

'Cause you don't know the storm will come...
...

Now we can move on
We can fly away
We can leave our darkness behind
Now you can shine
You can fly away
Fly Away

'Cause you don't know when the storm will come...


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Re: Fly Away
Reply #1 on: March 30, 2019, 00:50:33
Sounds great  @Clanik92 - very good when the drums kick in. That could have even come sooner - but that it's a matter of taste.
The piano might go along with the drums, to build up a bit more wildness in it.

Lyrics look okay to me.
Thumbs up  ::thumb::
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


Re: Fly Away
Reply #2 on: March 30, 2019, 12:37:39
@Clanik92 hello! The sound of this is very pretty, the message is warm and encouraging. Love the drums and build. I may not be exact, but around 3:42 after you say "you don't know when the storm will come", i feel, would be a great ending point. Great chord changes, very nice song!
Do what makes your heart sing :)


Re: Fly Away
Reply #3 on: March 30, 2019, 14:02:46
Hi @Clanik92

I like your song and your voice. What has struck me is how the piano and the bass appear in relation to the  rhythm of the voice, I do not know, it's an appreciation of mine but I think you could improve it in the rhythmic sense. Nice lyrics. It can be a wonderful song
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


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Re: Fly Away
Reply #4 on: March 30, 2019, 15:19:19
Sucker for ballads.
Always have been.
Always will be.
Great piece of work!
Kind regards, Gus


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Re: Fly Away
Reply #5 on: March 30, 2019, 19:04:08
hi @Clanik92 , that is a very nice song  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: great and intense vocal delivery ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone:: yes  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Fly Away
Reply #6 on: March 31, 2019, 00:17:05
Thanks everybody!  :)

Hi @Clanik92

I like your song and your voice. What has struck me is how the piano and the bass appear in relation to the  rhythm of the voice, I do not know, it's an appreciation of mine but I think you could improve it in the rhythmic sense. Nice lyrics. It can be a wonderful song

You're absolutely right, I realized that while I was singing it...I will surely work on it!


Re: Fly Away
Reply #7 on: March 31, 2019, 01:47:33
I really really like the chord progression.


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Re: Fly Away
Reply #8 on: March 31, 2019, 13:58:31
The strength of this song is in your amazing vocal performance. The lyrics are a bit complex and you pull it off beautifully!

Regarding @Kellyanneg 's observation, I was also listening for a possible early ending but I honestly think the song needs to run its course to get all of your message across....and the ending you have is strong.

I do agree with @Mora Amaro La Loba about how some of the instrumentation works rhythmically together but that's a minor thing that you can easily smooth out I think.

Great lyrics...good song. 
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: Fly Away
Reply #9 on: April 02, 2019, 20:42:14

@Leonard Scaper , @realkevm Thank you very much!  :) For some things I'm not skilled enough yet, I'm mainly a singer who can play the piano at a very basic level, but I'm trying to improve my skills everyday!


Re: Fly Away
Reply #10 on: April 08, 2019, 21:36:22
poptastic @Clanik92 great vocals, could be bigger and better this with bigger production!
fly away and find my peace of mind...
http://soundcloud.com/man-of-simple-pleasures


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Re: Fly Away
Reply #11 on: April 08, 2019, 21:44:31
somewhat off topic, but....

Happy  Birthday
:pompom: :dance: :pompom: :dance: :pompom: :dance: :pompom: :dance: :pompom: :dance: :pompom: :dance: :pompom: :yes: :pompom: :dance: :pompom: :dance:

@Clanik92   ;D ;D ;D ;D


Re: Fly Away
Reply #12 on: April 09, 2019, 14:35:24
The work is right for my taste
Maybe too predictable musically
But these styles also would not admit many changes of arrangement
Unless that was something to get
For simply trying to get out of the standard
Congratulations  ::thumb::



xx
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