• Forsaken Love UPDATE
  • Started by Kolohe
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Forsaken Love UPDATE
on: October 31, 2019, 19:05:31
« Last Edit: October 31, 2019, 21:29:51 by Kolohe »
Here's an update.....sound cloud link and lyrics
Thank you @Leonard Scaper  and @SteveAlton for tips.
@Mora Amaro La Loba hola! hope you can have a listen now


Here's a song about transgression of the heart and family, but with a western setting.
All critiques are welcome........and yes, it needs more verses.
Thanks in advance for listening.


Forsaken Love

Wild woman rides, six bullets strapped to her side
The children, they don't know
mama's gone to lay daddy in a hole

Forsaken love
Forsaken love

Six years hunting him down
no luck to come until now
Pain and heartache he left behind
mama says at last revenge is mine

Forsaken love
Forsaken love

Mama, mama, when you gonna leave poor daddy alone
Mama, mama, when you gonna leave poor daddy alone
When the pain subsides
When I can't see red in my eyes
Ask forgiveness from God above

And the ground swallows him up
And the ground swallows him up
And the ground swallows him up

https://soundcloud.com/user-32130215/forsaken-love/s-DkO56


Re: Forsaken Love UPDATE
Reply #1 on: October 31, 2019, 19:58:08
The link isn`t working @Kolohe - looked for the song on your site but no luck there either :no:


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Re: Forsaken Love UPDATE
Reply #2 on: October 31, 2019, 21:31:13
@robertkc  thanks for the heads up, I've reset the link.


Re: Forsaken Love UPDATE
Reply #3 on: November 01, 2019, 01:58:25
@Kolohe This has drama to it- the revenge narrative, of course, but also in your guiar playing- I really enjoyed that pulsing strum with embellishments in the right places.
Lyrically I don`t think much is needed ; another verse with some details (what did he do that was so bad?) maybe before the solo.
The ending repetitions work well.
First listen I`m not sure the arrangement needs anything else... others may hear this with band potential though.

Robert


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  • (INFJ-T) - 20 yrs old and in college- how original

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Re: Forsaken Love UPDATE
Reply #4 on: November 02, 2019, 21:30:45
This is such a cool sound and some absolutely impeccable guitar playing!! Keep it up
"When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find peace of mind is waiting there."-George Harrison



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