• Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
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Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
on: September 20, 2019, 02:34:25
« Last Edit: September 21, 2019, 04:13:36 by Pleudoniem »
Hi guys.

Here is my contribution. The lyric almost started writing itself, as if there was something that needed to be said, possibly because I never had. It is not about a real ghost, but it is about my dad, who died 11 years ago. When people die, and when they were close, their spirits will be anchored to our memories, sometimes hauntingly. They are like ghosts in the sense that they can never leave you alone.

And possibly they needn't and shouldn't.

I had a very peculiar relationship with him. I could never really get very close, possibly because he was very emotional and afraid of letting himself go too much. You could get close if you addressed him on what he loved to do and felt comfortable with, as he was remarkably skilled in carpentry work. He was quite an artist in his own way.

Despite our peculiar distance, eleven years later, I am increasingly learning to realise that I miss him more than I ever dared admit to myself.

I keep this picture of him in a drawer. It was given to me by my mother, who has an exact same one on her own desk. When people die, relatives often place a picture of their loved one on their desks, as a memory. I never did so, because I would be confronted with the hurt, as I would imagine him looking at me, distantly, but full of emotion as if he was still there.

The ghost is in the picture. I release it when I take it out of the burlap bag I keep it in.

Yes, I sometimes broke to tears when I was writing this...

By the way, the image that goes with the SoundCloud link is his shade cast on burlap. The shape was drawn with only one mouse stroke, and I recognised it immediately. Possibly he might have been looking as I was drawing it, helping.

You will understand why I didn't want to use the actual picture as an avatar for the song.



Picture of my dad

I keep you in a drawer
Tight inside a gunny bag
Safely in the dark be--
cause she gave it to me

Itís always there on top
On the postcards with our lives
And maps that go below
To be soon forgotten

Sipping from her tea
I am sure she understands
Why I keep the table bare
And wonít display it there

Suppose I took it out
Recovering your presence with
The unrequited shade
Thatís been left in pearl and luster
Suppose I took it out
Uncovering the dark and
The colours slightly paled
The picture of my dad

I know itís been some time
And Iíve also learnt of things
You had kept quite to yourself
When you were still alive

Can I look you in the eye
Gentle spirit in the frame
Or would you be a ghost
I might never live to tame

Iím pretty sure youíd know
Why I keep your picture there
Still unready to admit
How much I miss you.


https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem/the-picture-of-my-dad
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #1 on: September 20, 2019, 05:28:23
Really heartfelt lyrics... it must feel great to get that out if your system. I know the feeling well...

The track has a bit of angst... it comes through strong. The ending was genius sound engineering expressing a distinct emotion.

Nice work 😎


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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #2 on: September 20, 2019, 18:50:04
Hi @Pleudoniem, great song for-the-ghost in the kitchen songwriting challenge  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

a song with a strong and solemn flow and pace in my opinion

it sounds great  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #3 on: September 20, 2019, 19:24:19
Very strong song @Pleudoniem . The backstory sets it up perfectly and I'm glad you did that as it primes the listener for the emotion of the song.

The whole feel of the production imparts solemnity. There is almost a dirge-like quality....which really works in my opinion.

And yeah....as @1roomstudio mentions, that ending is superb.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #4 on: September 21, 2019, 01:09:47
This must have been so difficult yet  theraputic to write.
The tone is ominous and foreboding, sets a certain mood. It's real, it's authentic. Nice one.


Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #5 on: September 21, 2019, 02:43:21
Can I look you in the eye
Gentle spirit in the frame
Or would you be a ghost
I might never live to tame

strong lyrics @Pleudoniem  ::thumb:: The backstory helps, but  these are the most emotional and accessible lyrics I`ve heard from you ( admittedly I`m fairly new to your work) and they need no explanation.
I wish I knew how to create the kind of spare , telling soundscapes you make.This one expresses the angst of the song very well... and, yes, the ending is haunting.
I`m glad this Challenge is sending Kitcheners in surprising directions :ok: :ok: :ok:

Robert


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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #6 on: September 21, 2019, 03:35:46
« Last Edit: September 21, 2019, 04:15:08 by Pleudoniem »
@robertkc Thank you. I write more very emotional lyrics, but they are often a bit shrouded, as many feelings are often a bit obscure and multi-faceted. I don't mind if they are. Sometimes you need to read lyrics or poems a number of times, before they finally sink in. Some works appear to have an incubation period. This one, indeed, may be less shrouded.

I am sure if I dropped you one or two lines about what the other lyrics are about, then all of a sudden they would all cling together as if by a magic magnet. My lyrics normally have an idea behind them. That is why I didn't want to participate in the machine composed lyric challenge, earlier.

Thanks for the compliment about the soundscapes. I don't know, but what you may hear is how I like to experiment with chords. I usually shun basic chording, and try to look for ones that create atmospheres. The ones you hear here are: Amaj11, Dm/maj9, F6, Cmaj9, A, C6, Dadd2, Fmaj13, A7sus4.

@realkevm They were indeed. I hadn't realised it was still that strong, until I found myself writing the lyric. Its effect on me came as a bit of a revelation.

@Leonard Scaper It felt a bit like a mourning element that had still been unreckoned with, indeed.

@1roomstudio I am not sure if it is out of my system, in fact, I don't think it is. Keeping it in is also a token of gratefulness. The lyric made me notice it was still there, though. I think it was good to put it to paper, and make it tangible.


Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #7 on: September 22, 2019, 15:21:37
Hola @Pleudoniem

Your song takes us on a walk through your emotions that many of us understand perfectly because we know them ... I love how the story unfolds and the instrumental parts fit the style of the challenge ... Congratulations, good work and good relief!!!

The end reminds me a strange ghost bell
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #8 on: September 22, 2019, 21:19:24
@Mora Amaro La Loba Yes, it does, doesn't it? It is in fact a hollowbody guitar with a very strong reverb effect on it. When I tried the effect, it sounded so eerie that I thought I just had to use it for the song :)


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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #9 on: September 23, 2019, 21:41:21
As I said on SoundCloud ....

"A top piece of songwriting and and perhaps having a peek more often might be possible after writing this track."

 ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN:: ::OSMAN::
"Love and Life is all about connections"


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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #10 on: September 23, 2019, 22:39:45
@Pleudoniem - brave song, indeed uncommonly personal from your quarters.
' unready to admit
How much I miss you'
Unready - beautifully put.

 For comparison I relistened to Cervantes on Belly Net
https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem/cervantes-on-bellynet - a very different song, indeed.
recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #11 on: September 25, 2019, 01:58:06
These are very strong lyrics @Pleudoniem - obviously very personal as well but something a lot of us can relate to.

It's something when personal lyrics resonate with others.

There's a haunting feel to the song which is apt of course.

On my headphones, the vocals seemed a little too low in the mix - I'll listen on some speakers when I get the chance.

cheers


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Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #12 on: September 25, 2019, 02:26:38
Just wanted to express I'm touched by the message in your poetry man.. Of course because I could relate to it, but also because we met.. Well done @Pleudoniem !
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams


Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #13 on: September 30, 2019, 21:45:28
Good story, loved it ::thumb::  ::heart::
Jeete


Re: Ghost Challenge - The Picture of my Dad
Reply #14 on: October 05, 2019, 09:31:28
Hi @Pleudoniem    Intriguingly impressive on many fronts. Having read the emotion-laden melancholy lyrics  I was expecting something quite different, but was immediately gripped by the dynamic interplay between the intricate percussion, busy bass and funky guitar licks, which together with the honest vocals created a unique sound which was both thought provoking and energising at once. Good luck in the challenge!