• happpy song
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happpy song
on: July 25, 2019, 14:46:06
Hey all -
 
last song i posted was a dark one and thought i would provide a counterpoint.  I never really tried a hand in 'pop' music but i am trying new things if for just a chance to learn more about different elements i can use to accumulate into my own style.  Anyway - let me know if you have any pointers on this.

sound: https://soundcloud.com/aesthetique/sunshine
 
words:

There’s neon in your eyes tonight
We’re swaying in the moonlight
I been dreaming of this all my life
You’re the anchor - I’m the kite

Dopamine in my mind
Like a mix of weed and wine
Think about you all the time
You’re my new paradigm
I can feel you in my spine
Forever staying intertwined
I can feel you on my skin
Like the warmth of sunshine

There’s a sweetness to your tongue tonight
I can taste you in the deepbright
I’ll be coming to you all my life
You’re the planet - I’m the satellite

Dopamine in my mind
Like a mix of weed and wine
Think about you all the time
Kissing ‘cross your waistline
I can feel you in my spine
Digging deep in your sublime
Feel you shiver on my skin
Like the warmth of sunshine

You’re my sunshine
…only sunshine


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Re: happpy song
Reply #1 on: July 25, 2019, 20:12:17
I like the way you build this song. It flows nicely and had me tapping my toes right off.

Consider getting the vocals more up front, especially for pop.

"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: happpy song
Reply #2 on: July 31, 2019, 15:48:56
« Last Edit: August 01, 2019, 04:13:45 by Bill from November Sound »
Hi @thewinefestival  ... I like this style very much! Dig the Coldplay vibes (newer Coldplay that is) for sure! This is the kind of music I like the most I'd say and you're right there.
Vocals should come up .... but not quite that simple.... kind of eq out the music to surround the voice and keep the voice upfront by sending to delays a bit more. (Anyway I'd happily continue this conversation if your interested ...if not ..that's fine too)
The intro is too long now in my opinion .... but the 1minute intro will be fine once you're rich and famous!  :yes:
Good show!
- 11 ::Note::
 
Bill
Songwriter, Keyboards, Arranger, Producer & Engineer for November Sound

November Sound is based on the Mother, Father & Son musical trio of Melissa, Bill & Will. I'm the father so anything I post will have my wife singing and/or my son playing percussion.


Re: happpy song
Reply #3 on: August 01, 2019, 02:58:29
I like the danceable but slightly  hypnotic feel @thewinefestival .
 Reading the lyrics, the single chorus rhyme looked too much -listening it sounds good.
The arrangement works and has some nice echoing things going on to give the electronic sounds some depth.
My vote would be to shorten the intro and focus on advice of those who know more about pop vocals that me, to massage your very good vocal into the spotlight. ::thumb::

Robert


Re: happpy song
Reply #4 on: August 02, 2019, 15:20:14
@Bill from November Sound - thanks for the critique - appreciate it - yeah i would like to know your pointers on bringing the vocal up while still letting it marinate in the sound - that's kind of what i was looking for.



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Re: happpy song
Reply #5 on: August 02, 2019, 19:39:58
hi @thewinefestival , nice happy vibe in the chorus indeed  ::thumb::

sounds good  ::headphone:: ::headphone:: ::headphone::,
about the vocal, perhaps it just has to be a bit brighter, a bit more high EQ on it, and erasing some of the low EQ from the vocal track?
me, myself, and Pie


Re: happpy song
Reply #6 on: August 08, 2019, 18:26:15
Hi @thewinefestival .... I've learned a lot from this on-line course.

He says it way better than me.
Like @Dutchbeat says you cut the lows out of the voice and cut out any bad room sounds first. Then automate the vocals pre-gain ... before anything. If your daw doesn't do that just send your now raw subtractive eq automated vocal to a lead vox send.
Blah, blah..... then do all kinds of compression and delays and stuff there.
Finally find where the rich parts of the vocal track are and cut that/those frequency/frequencies everywhere .... then you can push up everything else!  It might seem extreme when you're doing it but for your kind of music (which I love btw!! ) it can really work!   :)