• Heart on a stick - Collab challenge entry (DonMar and Mar T.)
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« Last Edit: December 18, 2019, 23:43:13 by Mar T. »
Hey everybody,

Just finished our entry for the Kitchen collaboration challenge together with @DonMar . Hope you like it and have fun listening!!

Heart on a Stick

V1
Baby, Iíll give you my heart on a stick
But Iíll dip it in vinegar first
Donít expect the results to be quick
ĎCause more is at stake than your thirst

V2
Baby, Iíll give you my heart on a stick
But I warn you, your bubble might burst
If weíre not an impeccable fit
You havenít seen me at my worst

Chorus
If you want me you can have me
If you pass the acid test
If you want me you can have me
But take me as I am
Then we can decide the rest

V3
Baby, Iíll give you my heart on a stick
But Iím now testing things in reverse
Waiting to see if our tempíraments click
Or whether your lines are rehearsed
 
Bridge
Canít fool me with fables
Iím finally able
To know when to give
Or hold back
No more love at first sight
I spent too much time
On the rack

Lyrics © 2019 Donna Devine
Instrumental and vocal track © 2019 Mar T.


https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/heart-on-a-stick

Cheers!
Mar T.
:mart:

BTW The collab started here: https://www.songwriter-forum-kitchen.com/forum/lyrics/13/heart-on-a-stick-maybe-punkishuptempo/5325/
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams


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ik vind het lekker hoor  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: sounds good

and yes, you have the passion in your vocals @Mar T.  :yes: :yes: :yes:

lekker hoor!!! @DonMar @Mar T.  ::headphone::
me, myself, and Pie


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Ah, I was waiting for your entry, @Mar T. & @DonMar !
Great rock number  8)

Was listening on my phone speaker first, and boy am I glad I unpacked the headphones after the 1st listen!
The stereo guitars sounds fantastic, and I love that fuzzy sound you get out of your guitar. And it was a (very pleasant) surprise to hear the acoustic guitar magically transform into an electric guitar! A nice idea, cleverly done and really seemless!

The lyrics are very catchy and just perfect for a rock track, nice writing I think :)
And the vocal performance is great too, I agree with DB, you manage to convey plenty of passion needed for this genre!

For the first listen (on the phone...) I didn't even notice the keys coming in around the 1:50 mark , but now I think they are a nice addition. If I had to pick one thing I would change on this track, I would have the keys just a bit louder, since I really like them!

Congrats to the both of you on a great collab :)


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ik vind het lekker hoor  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: sounds good

and yes, you have the passion in your vocals @Mar T.  :yes: :yes: :yes:

lekker hoor!!! @DonMar @Mar T.  ::headphone::

Cheeeers @Dutchbeat !! Looooved screaming out these words from the top of my lungs!  :blackgrin:

Ah, I was waiting for your entry, @Mar T. & @DonMar !
Great rock number  8)

Was listening on my phone speaker first, and boy am I glad I unpacked the headphones after the 1st listen!
The stereo guitars sounds fantastic, and I love that fuzzy sound you get out of your guitar. And it was a (very pleasant) surprise to hear the acoustic guitar magically transform into an electric guitar! A nice idea, cleverly done and really seemless!

The lyrics are very catchy and just perfect for a rock track, nice writing I think :)
And the vocal performance is great too, I agree with DB, you manage to convey plenty of passion needed for this genre!

For the first listen (on the phone...) I didn't even notice the keys coming in around the 1:50 mark , but now I think they are a nice addition. If I had to pick one thing I would change on this track, I would have the keys just a bit louder, since I really like them!

Congrats to the both of you on a great collab :)

@Michael , thank you so much for listening and taking time to review this one! I am in awe that the parts I was most insecure about seem to
work for you! Definately going to review the level of the keys, cheers for that pointer! Fan of your collab with @Rachel_D as well, wow! Nice to have you back man!!

Cheers!!
Mar T.
:mart:


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Great job, @Mar T.   :thumbsup:
And thank for your kind comments, @Dutchbeat and @Michael. Much appreciated.  :)

Donna
Honour the earth. Without It, we'd be nowhere. - D.D.


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Really Rocking! @Mar T.  - super fat and open mix. @DonMar strong lyrics. I specially liked this part
But Iím now testing things in reverse
Waiting to see if our tempíraments click
Or whether your lines are rehearsed


 ::thumb::
new guitar 4-6-2020 https://soundcloud.com/oorlab/12string-demo1 12string Cort.


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Cheeeers @oorlab !! Thanks for listening and commenting! Looooved these lyrics as well!
Your entry together with @Dutchbeat sounded fantastic as well!!

Cheers, Love and Peace!!
Mar T.


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« Last Edit: December 19, 2019, 10:25:28 by LePlongeur »
Definitely headphone material for me. The very old Philips speakers I have in the compu room can't handle this much emotion.
Say it out loud, I'm in love and I'm proud.
Great entry @Dutchbeat  and @DonMar !!!
Kind regards, Gus


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Hi, this song really belongs to my favorites of the collab songs.
Very well written lyrics @DonMar
l ike the rock wise and how @Mar T. do the voacals full of passion  - that pays off!!
The simple 'band' arrangment frames it perfectly.
Very nice done!


« Last Edit: December 19, 2019, 22:45:38 by Mora Amaro La Loba »
Hola @DonMar and  @Mar T.

Rock, rock, rocking...
Your song is hot and holds perfectly the rhythm. I think same as @Michael about the keys, when they are present they give a very good color to the track... but at first it's difficult to hear its sound.


I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
https://vimeo.com/onacarom


Re: Heart on a stick - Collab challenge entry (DonMar and Mar T.)
Reply #10 on: December 19, 2019, 22:15:26
@Mar T. Hmm... Quite grungy :) Smells of Nirvana sometimes, except for the vocal, which makes it quite different. The distortion sounds a bit like a muff fuzz box. Is that what you're using there? Interesting collab between the electric and the acoustic here. Very nice work :)
Pleudoniem: composer; bass guitarist; guitarist; singer; drummer; tap-guitarist - o, and yes... erm- a bit of keys. Open for collabs.
SoundCloud Page: https://soundcloud.com/pleudoniem


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Re: Heart on a stick - Collab challenge entry (DonMar and Mar T.)
Reply #11 on: December 19, 2019, 23:31:32
« Last Edit: December 19, 2019, 23:47:18 by Mar T. »
Definitely headphone material for me. The very old Philips speakers I have in the compu room can't handle this much emotion.
Say it out loud, I'm in love and I'm proud.
Great entry @Dutchbeat  and @DonMar !!!
Kind regards, Gus

We're honoured you took the headphone to review this material man!! Thanks Gus! ( @LePlongeur ) And eh.. did you just call me 'Dutchbeat'? @Dutchbeat say something!!

Hi, this song really belongs to my favorites of the collab songs.
Very well written lyrics @DonMar
l ike the rock wise and how @Mar T. do the voacals full of passion  - that pays off!!
The simple 'band' arrangment frames it perfectly.
Very nice done!


@Mo thank you so much for listening and reviewing.. Glad this one works for you!!

@Mar T. Hmm... Quite grungy :) Smells of Nirvana sometimes, except for the vocal, which makes it quite different. The distortion sounds a bit like a muff fuzz box. Is that what you're using there? Interesting collab between the electric and the acoustic here. Very nice work :)

Hey @Pleudoniem thanks for listening and commenting! Haha actually the verses chords are the same as Nirvana's chorus of 'Smells like teen spirit', only noticed that because of your remark..
The distortion on the guitars are add on effects for Reason 11 (which I happen to experiment with this year), looooved the fuzz possibilities in those fx..
Cheers man!!

Hola @DonMar and  @Mar T.

Rock, rock, rocking...
Your song is hot and holds perfectly the rhythm. I think same as @Michael about the keys, when they are present they give a very good color to the track... but at first it's difficult to hear its sound.


Cheeeeeers! @Mora Amaro La Loba !! Love to read the words meter matches the songs rhythm, that's always the big challenge!!

Liked both your and @Michael 's suggestion to up the keys a bit in the mix.
Did that and replaced the version on SoundCloud with a version in which the organ (including added leslie rotating speaker effect) sits a bit louder in the mix.
Latest version: https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/heart-on-a-stick

Cheers, Love and Peace everybody, thanks for all the useful comments!!
Mar T.
:mart:


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Re: Heart on a stick - Collab challenge entry (DonMar and Mar T.)
Reply #12 on: December 20, 2019, 08:02:32
Ahhhhh....., how stupid of me.
I apologize.
Great entry Anyway @Mo and @DonMar !!!
Iíll pay more attentie next time @Mar T. , sorry!
Kind regards,Gus


Re: Heart on a stick - Collab challenge entry (DonMar and Mar T.)
Reply #13 on: December 21, 2019, 08:45:09
the is the first @Mar T. music I've heard in while- so much attitude! I'm enjoying @DonMar 's  lyrical hooks, the driving beat and the raw fuzz guitar. I would have kept that cool rhythmic acoustic guitar strumming away throughout the first verse to add texture to the sound but that's just personal style- it sounds fantastic as it is. Good luck in the challenge!


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Re: Heart on a stick - Collab challenge entry (DonMar and Mar T.)
Reply #14 on: December 22, 2019, 19:56:08
Ahhhhh....., how stupid of me.
I apologize.
Great entry Anyway @Mo and @DonMar !!!
Iíll pay more attentie next time @Mar T. , sorry!
Kind regards,Gus
:blackgrin: :blackgrin: :blackgrin: :blackgrin: :blackgrin:

the is the first @Mar T. music I've heard in while- so much attitude! I'm enjoying @DonMar 's  lyrical hooks, the driving beat and the raw fuzz guitar. I would have kept that cool rhythmic acoustic guitar strumming away throughout the first verse to add texture to the sound but that's just personal style- it sounds fantastic as it is. Good luck in the challenge!
Yeah busy year here @DanJames !! Great to hear positive feedback from your camp! Love your work.. Absolutely considered to keep the acoustic strumming, but did not for 2 reasons:
1. Now it creates a kind of build up as if the 1st person starts with a campfire love-song, but gets crazy while expressing feelings/emotions. In my interpretation a bit of a twisted/damaged mind takes over hence the sweeet acoustic transforms into fuzzy punk guitars
2. More practical: I think this would have muddied up the mix... So I picked the essential instruments for each moment in time (arrangement-wise)..
But hey I intoduced a bit of acoustic in the breakdowns again (rule #1 in songwriting: repeat yourself ;-) )
Thanks man, btw, loooved your entry with @Katze Konigsberg !!

Cheers, Love and Peace!!
Mar T.
:mart: