• Hi. everybody! I need your help .
  • Started by Vera-alx
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Hi. everybody! I need your help .
on: February 23, 2019, 19:51:24
It's my translation  of Russian song.  Video,   lyrics ... are there; http://vetrovo.ru/songs/psalom-41/
I 'd  like to have proper  translation to sing as music  ::e-guitar3::runs , but my English is so-so.   

Please, help me to correct this song ,,,,

Blessed be …….. Lord
 Teach me with your only Truth.

As the deers desires for the sourses to drink,
So desires my heart to the God.

Has desired my soul, Oh, , to Thee.
Thirsting for the strong God, alive.

If  the foe harass me,   I hurry to You.
And appear  in front of you, Lord!

Hear! Soul  mine, sigh of repentance:

Blessed be thou, Lord
Teach me with your only  Truth.

Tears mine were my bread for the day and the night.
When they told me “Where ‘s the God yours”.

Remember of this, I’m mourning till cry,
Sharing my soui with my tears

I the place of my God quietly wiil come,
With a verb of joy to the house of Lord.

Cry of yourself, Soul. Time is alredy yours.

Why so sorrow, soul, why embarrass me?
Trust in the Mighty God.

Confess him, he is my Lord and God,
And the heart mine salvation.

Crying my soul, Crying in me
Cause. from the land of Jordan,

From the Hermon land I’m thinking of u.
And from mountain small, remember I u


Abyss cries for the depth with of awaful voice.
Waves and waters passed me over.

On the day the Lord leaves His Grace.
At night, will my song to the living be God.




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Re: Hi. everybody! I need your help .
Reply #1 on: February 23, 2019, 21:02:16
Hey @Vera-alx ....Welcome to The Kitchen. I am listening to the link you provided. This is a very nice song....I can see why you want to sing it.

I can help with some of the lyrics but some are a bit unclear. Most of them are fine as they are.

This is the best I can do as my Russian is a little rusty.  ;)

As the deers desires for the sourses to drink,
So desires my heart to the God.

As the deer desire for sources of drink

Has desired my soul,
My soul has desired

If  the foe harass me
If the foes harass me

Tears mine were my bread for the day and the night.
My tears

Remember of this, I’m mourning till cry
Remember this, I'm mourning till I cry

I the place of my God quietly wiil come,
With a verb of joy to the house of Lord.

To the place of my God quietly I will come
With a cry of joy to the house of the Lord


Cry of yourself, Soul.
Cry for yourself soul

Why so sorrow, soul
Why such sorrow

Confess him, he is my Lord and God,
And the heart mine salvation.

Confess to him...........
And the heart of my salvation


Crying my soul, Crying in me
Cause. from the land of Jordan,

My soul is crying, Crying within
Because from the land of Jordan


And from mountain small, remember I u
From the mountain small I remember you

Abyss cries for the depth with of awaful voice.
Waves and waters passed me over.

I cry from the depths with an awful voice
Waves and waters pass over me


At night, will my song to the living be God.
At night will I sing to the living God
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Hi. everybody! I need your help .
Reply #2 on: February 23, 2019, 22:32:33
« Last Edit: February 24, 2019, 09:38:22 by Vera-alx »
Thank you,   :praise: Leonard so much for your fast reply.   :pompom:
I rewrote the  text with your marks . Thank you for help!!!

But It needs some more work to do, because  of 
1,    Old Orthodox version of Psalm 41 is very complicative to understand and translate
-   example….. "Abyss itself cries" … not  I cry in Abyss 
-   example….. " awful voice"  - voice of grand waterfall. Not my voice.  And so on.
Later on I’l ask  somebody in your site to sing it.  OK?




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Re: Hi. everybody! I need your help .
Reply #3 on: February 24, 2019, 11:23:11
@Vera-alx  - welcome to the forum! Your song sounds very good. I would keep it in Russian. The flavour, prosody, rhythm, details of the language is so much part of the music. Off course you could provide for a video or lyric sheet a translation.
Full disclosure, I don't speak Russian but am a big fan of Vladimir Vysotsky.

recommending https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Music_Works "How music works", book by David Byrne.


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Re: Hi. everybody! I need your help .
Reply #4 on: February 24, 2019, 14:25:02
Hi @Vera-alx
How proud and brave of you to tackle Ps 41.
The one I know is approx 10 minutes long and a capella.
As there is a russian orthodox church in Amsterdam.

If you manage with @Leonard Scaper’ subtle hints, that’s fine. From a languistical point of view his suggestions are to the point. Very much so.

If you still want a deeper probe into the subtleties of the Russian version, please write me a PM or a mail.  And tell me what you are looking for.

I have invested more than enough time in a Russian person over the past two years. So this might be the right moment to ask her to return the favor.
She’s a young mother with young children, so not the person you look for to translate all your work. But for a one off?
Why not. Music knows no boundaries.

Kind regards, Gus


Re: Hi. everybody! I need your help .
Reply #5 on: March 02, 2019, 15:36:19
« Last Edit: March 02, 2019, 16:22:22 by Vera-alx »
Oorlab, thank you for your reply.

To search his songs in Internet just type in Google


 Иеромонах Роман mp3
Иеромонах Роман  video
Иеромонах Роман лирика


That's mp3 link
http://mp3index.mobi/mp3-search/%D0%98%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%BE%D0%BC%D0%BE%D0%BD%D0%B0%D1%85%20%D0%A0%D0%BE%D0%BC%D0%B0%D0%BD%20-%20%D0%A0%D0%B0%D1%81%D0%BA%D1%80%D0%BE%D1%8E%20%D1%8F%20%D0%9F%D1%81%D0%B0%D0%BB%D1%82%D1%8B%D1%80%D1%8C%20%D0%A1%D0%B2%D1%8F%D1%82%D1%83%D1%8E

Site devoted to him
click there on the photo to watch. http://vetrovo.ru/songs/psalom-41/   

Аккорды
http://ieromonah-roman.ru/music/blagosloven-esi/