• In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
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  • IsleofSkye
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In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
on: July 26, 2020, 20:18:12
Hello hello!

     I'm so glad to be back into these challenges! I forgot how much they helped me grow as a writer. You all know just how to encourage me to keep writing, too!
     Anyway, this is just a demo that I will hopefully be able to iron out soon. Quite barren but the foundations of the song are here. I'm definitely looking for vocal tips and exercises since I just have a really difficult time getting my singing to feel right. I've been playing with this guitar riff for ages now (Taking some heavy inspiration from Hendrix) and finally developed it into a song- in just one night! Wow. Been a while since I've done that, glad I had this challenge to push me towards it. Anywho, enjoy and feel free to give some advice!

https://soundcloud.com/user-939439320/in-my-mind-demo

v1
Sitting on the verge of life
There's something about the other side
it'll make it all worth the wait
That's always in my mind

v2
Nothing's ever satisfied
just what I want out of life
I'm sure if I wake up sometime
It'll find me in my mind

BRIDGE
Nothing seems to last now
so quick it's in the past now
my mind keeps racing
so quick and it's gone

v3
Listening to the whippoorwill
I feel a little alone still
yet I'm bound to find it all
was worth it in my mind

BRIDGE
Nothing seems to last now
so quick it's in the past now
my mind keeps racing
so quick and it's gone
"When you've seen beyond yourself then you may find peace of mind is waiting there."-George Harrison


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Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #1 on: July 27, 2020, 09:20:19
I've listened once.
But I have learned never to underestimate the competition.
So I'll be back for another spin as I have the house right now!
To be continued...

Kind regards, Gus


Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #2 on: July 27, 2020, 17:08:05
@IsleofSkye  I like the lyrics and they fit your guitar sound very well. Not a singer myself so I can't give any tips except make use with what you have, and work with it.
Vince


Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #3 on: July 27, 2020, 19:26:02
This is a fine demo @IsleofSkye . It showcases the lyrics and the arrangement nicely and gives the listener a chance to imagine where else you might take it. I like the lyrical message a lot.

make use with what you have, and work with it.

I agree with @Vince here. You do not have to have the voice of an angel to get your message across in a song that is completely yours. Just feel the song and let that feeling come across in your performance without worrying much about technical flaws. That is certainly my philosophy.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


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Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #4 on: July 27, 2020, 21:01:50
That's a promising draft I look forward how you'll develop it!  :D


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Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #5 on: July 28, 2020, 06:22:03
This is a fine demo @IsleofSkye . It showcases the lyrics and the arrangement nicely and gives the listener a chance to imagine where else you might take it. I like the lyrical message a lot.

make use with what you have, and work with it.

I agree with @Vince here. You do not have to have the voice of an angel to get your message across in a song that is completely yours. Just feel the song and let that feeling come across in your performance without worrying much about technical flaws. That is certainly my philosophy.

Thank you @Leonard Scaper and @Vince

Iím glad you pointed that out. You know, I may never be able to sing with technical prowess or have the same natural voice as many other singers. But I might be able to use my flaws to express emotions that no one else can.


Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #6 on: July 31, 2020, 00:04:28
This is a lovely song.. I kinda like the tentative delivery ... I think it suits the subject matter and the song..  love the lyrics....

Lovely!

K


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Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #7 on: August 06, 2020, 02:43:19
That`s a cool riff @IsleofSkye  :yes: I like the lyrics and what @Leonard Scaper  said about feeling them as you sings sounds right... a little change of intensity on the bridge could work, and wow I really heard bass & drums coming in- must be that Hendrix thing ;)


Robert


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Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #8 on: August 06, 2020, 08:46:08
i don't know what apple mafia made from my post earlier.
Must have been translated to Chinese and back to English.

I like the song a lot. And (strictly speaking for myself) I don't shy away from posting a 'less than perfect' song.
You are on a songwriters forum. Not a producers forum. You have a certain poetic licence and I say: exercise your rights!

Kind regards, Gus


Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #9 on: August 07, 2020, 13:47:55
You have made a song with a very simple construction, even innocent to cover deep lyrics and full of searching moments.
I love this phrase
"I'm sure if I wake up sometime
It'll find me in my mind"

Very good.line @IsleofSkye
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
https://vimeo.com/onacarom


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Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #10 on: August 08, 2020, 22:35:38
@Mo @Zedd @robertkc @Mora Amaro La Loba @LePlongeur

Thank you all for the kind words and advice!


Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #11 on: September 02, 2020, 13:44:17
@IsleofSkye Let me just say this, it's just a personal opinion but I think most people would agree.

A good thing with a draft or a demo is that it doesn't have to be perfect, it's never the intent. Its purpose is to give a glimpse or insight to an idea (be it musical , rhythmical or whatever) and the point being the audience is supposed to be filling out the gaps with whatever they want.

In regards to the statement of being able to sing good or not, it's not something most people are not born with and have to learn to excel in, and I think you carry out the storytelling with all the emotions in a good way. I'm sure you could develop your singing though, if that is what you want, it's a training thing.

All that said, I like the idea you're presenting and I could imagine a whole number of different arrangements spawning from it or surrounding it, or just you and a guitar. They all work for me at least.  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

 ::Rachel::
/Micke
Layerson (a.k.a. Mikael Lagersson)


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Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #12 on: September 03, 2020, 22:08:16
@IsleofSkye Let me just say this, it's just a personal opinion but I think most people would agree.

A good thing with a draft or a demo is that it doesn't have to be perfect, it's never the intent. Its purpose is to give a glimpse or insight to an idea (be it musical , rhythmical or whatever) and the point being the audience is supposed to be filling out the gaps with whatever they want.

In regards to the statement of being able to sing good or not, it's not something most people are not born with and have to learn to excel in, and I think you carry out the storytelling with all the emotions in a good way. I'm sure you could develop your singing though, if that is what you want, it's a training thing.

All that said, I like the idea you're presenting and I could imagine a whole number of different arrangements spawning from it or surrounding it, or just you and a guitar. They all work for me at least.  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

 ::Rachel::
/Micke

Thanks so much! I appreciate those thoughts. While I want to improve as much as I possibly can, Iím glad this demo seems to convey the basic idea of what I wanted to communicate to all of you.


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Re: In My Mind (DEMO) [6/8 CHALLENGE ENTRY]
Reply #13 on: September 20, 2020, 20:46:00
@IsleofSkye - I particularly like the lyrics in the bridge section, and I found the melody in the bridge part to be working really well with the chosen words. With respect to the vocal, I like the fact that the verses are sung slowly and almost in a spoken manner, it gives emphasis to each and every word and helps the listener connect with the lyrics.

I agree that having a not so polished /completely perfect vocal can at times make the song feel more real and intimate, particularly with a stripped back instrumental such as this one. Moreover, given that we are a group of songwriters I feel that we can see through the roughness / pitches and still get the gist of the song.

However, if you still want tips on the vocal, here are some that come to mind:
When considering the bridge - if one compares the first and second bridge vocal-wise, the first time round it is sounding slightly better. So, I guess part of it is a matter of having more control over the pitch of the notes. I find that being less self-conscious, more relaxed and having a correct posture can help a lot to reach notes better.

To improve your vocal and increase confidence in singing you can start by a simple exercises Ė e.g. you could try playing scales slowly on the piano and singing to them slowly note by note ensuring that you reach the correct pitches. You could also play the first note in a scale and then sing the rest of the scale, record your voice and then listen back to it and identify which notes you need to work on a bit more on.

A vocal warm-up before singing a song can also work wonders (it sounds akward when you do it the first time as it involves doing lots of strange noises (humming/ lip rolls/ singing consonants on arpeggios etc), but it does pay off :) ) (there are a lot of vocal warm-up videos on youtube to choose from, e.g. this one: tip- make sure you take a good deep breath before each scale/arpeggio and breathe in air till the abdomen area expands outwards and release the air slowly while singing, ensuring that your abdomen is pushing inwards (it is important that movement occurs in the abdomen area and not the chest area to prevent straining. Itís best if you place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen to check that only the latter is moving). This article explains breathing while singing better: https://www.wikihow.com/Breathe-Properly-for-Singing

I hope this helps,
Rachel
Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista