• In the Morning
  • Started by Andrew Jezmund
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
In the Morning
on: August 18, 2016, 12:43:10
https://soundcloud.com/jezmund-2/in-the-morning

Hello,

This is a new song I'm working on.  Lyrically, I've been working on a few songs recently processing my anxieties of being a parent.  This song's lyrics come across like a message to my son (despite the dark lyrics, I'm really a fun dad, I promise :)

Musically, this song is an experiment in sound.  I came up with the guitar part as a result of fiddling around one afternoon.  Unlike a number of new songs I'm working on, which are more straight ahead acoustic folk/rock songs, this one is a darker and more symphonic. 

The song also moves from a dark theme into a lighter theme at the end.  This came about by accident (and I'm not sure it works well here, so I'll want feedback on that). 

Really, any feedback is welcome.  I don't consider this song done yet. 

Lyrics:

Thereís a lot of people
Who just donít want to be saved
And a whole lot of bitterness
That just canít be assuaged.
Donít turn the light off
Please listen to my warning
Donít trust that Iíll save justice
When you wake up in the morning

Weíre in a time
Where green doesnít always mean go
The best that I can tell you
Is to take things nice and slow
Donít donít lose your focus
Or youíll lose everything
Donít trust that Iíll save justice
When you wake up in the morning

How would you ever know?
How would you ever know?
About anything

All I want to tell you
is I want to be close to you
All I want to say
is I'll always be there for you
Won't you tell me that you'll hold me tight?
And I'll be all right.


  • Dutchbeat
  • MADministrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • If you can stand the Beat, get into the Kitchen!

    • 8538


    • 1410
    • Today at 12:18:27
  • more
Re: In the Morning
Reply #1 on: August 18, 2016, 16:45:43
« Last Edit: August 18, 2016, 16:48:39 by Dutchbeat »
wow, @Andrew Jezmund, your voice sounds so good,  again, crispy clear....


and great instrumentation, I like it

no  tips how to improve come to mind at first listen, but I will revisit

I love that repeating sound around the 2.30 mark, stunning....and how the music develops from there, that is fantastic, Jezmund,

t is a journey to listen to  :o :o :o :o lovely

 ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
me, myself, and Pie


Re: In the Morning
Reply #2 on: August 19, 2016, 01:43:04
wow, @Andrew Jezmund, your voice sounds so good,  again, crispy clear....


and great instrumentation, I like it

no  tips how to improve come to mind at first listen, but I will revisit

I love that repeating sound around the 2.30 mark, stunning....and how the music develops from there, that is fantastic, Jezmund,

t is a journey to listen to  :o :o :o :o lovely

 ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::

Thanks a lot Dutch!


  • Mark Luto
  • Global Moderator
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Enthusiastic Dilettante

    • 1577


    • 890
    • August 15, 2019, 14:34:08
    • Zurich, Switzerland
    • https://www.facebook.com/MarkLutoMusic/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2oOby1sRdVp60eBi8msivQ https://soundcloud.com/markluto
  • more
Re: In the Morning
Reply #3 on: August 19, 2016, 02:09:16
I like the subject and the general mood (and mood changes) of the song. Guitars and drums sound great. The synth sounds in the background work much better than some of the prominent ones you use for the solos. I don't like the organ beginning at 1:26 nor the horn beginning at 3:44. I think they sound too "cheap" for a good song like this one.
Your vocals are very good! ::headphone::

Cheers,
Mark


Re: In the Morning
Reply #4 on: August 19, 2016, 12:38:57
I like the subject and the general mood (and mood changes) of the song. Guitars and drums sound great. The synth sounds in the background work much better than some of the prominent ones you use for the solos. I don't like the organ beginning at 1:26 nor the horn beginning at 3:44. I think they sound too "cheap" for a good song like this one.
Your vocals are very good! ::headphone::

Cheers,
Mark

Thanks for the feedback, Mark.  I'll keep it in mind as I tweak the mixing.  Thanks for listening!


  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6501


    • 1658
    • Today at 10:19:27
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: In the Morning
Reply #5 on: August 20, 2016, 01:05:56
Hey @Andrew Jezmund

Thanks for sharing!
When I read the first two verses I thought 'Oh no.. you can't influence people
(in this case your son) by telling them what they should do and what they shouldn't
do'... What's the true message behind this song? And then came the 'All I want to
tell you..' part.. That's the reason the brighter sounds and the more 'major' than
'minor' chords work nicely together with the mood imo.. Although in your
desciption you made me feel the brighter end developed itself by accident.
Btw, I love your way of posting a song, giving background information and telling
what you specifically ask feedback on.. Extra karma for that!
Production wise I agree with @Mark Luto .
What gear did you use to record the vocal? I seem to hear some unwanted frequencies
in the lead vocal. Or did you heavily EQ the lead voc?
Thanks for sharing Andrew, I enjoyed listening!!
MM
:mart:


Re: In the Morning
Reply #6 on: August 20, 2016, 02:10:47
Hey @Andrew Jezmund

Thanks for sharing!
When I read the first two verses I thought 'Oh no.. you can't influence people
(in this case your son) by telling them what they should do and what they shouldn't
do'... What's the true message behind this song? And then came the 'All I want to
tell you..' part.. That's the reason the brighter sounds and the more 'major' than
'minor' chords work nicely together with the mood imo.. Although in your
desciption you made me feel the brighter end developed itself by accident.
Btw, I love your way of posting a song, giving background information and telling
what you specifically ask feedback on.. Extra karma for that!
Production wise I agree with @Mark Luto .
What gear did you use to record the vocal? I seem to hear some unwanted frequencies
in the lead vocal. Or did you heavily EQ the lead voc?
Thanks for sharing Andrew, I enjoyed listening!!
MM
:mart:

Hi MM,

So I double-tracked the lead vocal.  On one of tracks I added some extra reverb and what is called the "ensemble" effect on garageband.  I was trying for some extra effect on the vocal.

To explain the minor/major change:

 I use this effect on garageband called "blue wave" which is an experimental guitar effect.  I used it for the "solo" at the end of the darker portion of the song. (not the greatest solo, but I'm not a great soloist).  At the end of the dark portion of the song, when the guitar part ended, there was this lingering sound from the "blue wave" track that sounded like a bouncing D major that faded away.  Quite spontaneously, I decided to come in with a D major chord, which began that portion of the song. 

Sometimes, cool stuff comes to us purely by chance.  I guess it worked in this case.

As for the lyrics, the first two verses are not something I'd actually say to my son.  It's more like conversations I have in my head with my son, sort of like dealing with the worries I have about the kind of world he's entering.  The hope and optimism at the end of the song is a nice bit of reassurance after the darkness, but it came about thanks to a lingering D major. 

Did that come across clearly? :)


  • Jurgen
  • Sous Chef
  • *
  • Just strumming away

    • 1337


    • 722
    • August 12, 2019, 17:15:33
    • Sydney, Australia
    • https://www.facebook.com/drivingsouthband/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCygXcTLN2FroxhUQM_90J6Q?view_as=subscriber https://soundcloud.com/user-386444683
  • more
Re: In the Morning
Reply #7 on: August 20, 2016, 04:08:11
hi @Andrew Jezmund

Firstly - great words. I understand what you're saying by conversations in your head. It's hard with kids as there is so much you want to tell them but they need to work some stuff by themselves and make the mistakes that as parents, we all made at their age as well.

Secondly - great song! The music was really catchy and it developed really well. I'm with @Mark Luto the horn doesn't sound quite right with the song. The guitars sound great.

cheers

Jurgen


Re: In the Morning
Reply #8 on: August 20, 2016, 12:14:43
hi @Andrew Jezmund

Firstly - great words. I understand what you're saying by conversations in your head. It's hard with kids as there is so much you want to tell them but they need to work some stuff by themselves and make the mistakes that as parents, we all made at their age as well.

Secondly - great song! The music was really catchy and it developed really well. I'm with @Mark Luto the horn doesn't sound quite right with the song. The guitars sound great.

cheers

Jurgen

Thanks Jurgen, I need to think about those horns at the end.  A couple of you have mentioned not liking them.  I want some sort of instrumental for the fade out, and I'm a horn nut.  But it sounds shrill to my ear as well.  I'll think about it and play around with some other ideas in the coming days. 


  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6501


    • 1658
    • Today at 10:19:27
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: In the Morning
Reply #9 on: August 20, 2016, 14:24:10
Hi MM,

So I double-tracked the lead vocal.  On one of tracks I added some extra reverb and what is called the "ensemble" effect on garageband.  I was trying for some extra effect on the vocal.
Ah okay, I'm not familiar with Garageband, so it's hard for me to understand what that exactly means. If you want I can give 'vocal treatment' a try for you. If you send me the instrumental mix and the vocals in two seperate wav files (zip them and attach them to a reply to this post). Then I'll be able to try to let you hear what I mean. And when you like it I'll share what I did..

As for the lyrics, the first two verses are not something I'd actually say to my son.  It's more like conversations I have in my head with my son, sort of like dealing with the worries I have about the kind of world he's entering.  The hope and optimism at the end of the song is a nice bit of reassurance after the darkness, but it came about thanks to a lingering D major. 

Did that come across clearly? :)
Crystal clear! That's what I consider the strong point of the lyrics combined with the music. To me the music told me the words in the beginning of the song were in your head! So that created a beautiful build-up in tension to me.. Like: no..no.. tell your son what's causing you to think/feel this... and then YES, that's exactly what you so. So for me this came across perfectly and kept me listening until the end. Again very well done!!


Re: In the Morning
Reply #10 on: August 21, 2016, 12:12:36
Thanks MM! 


Re: In the Morning
Reply #11 on: August 21, 2016, 12:13:59
Here's the vocal.  It's not clear if it uploaded in my first email


  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6501


    • 1658
    • Today at 10:19:27
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: In the Morning
Reply #12 on: August 21, 2016, 16:07:56
Here's the vocal.  It's not clear if it uploaded in my first email
Hey @Andrew Jezmund thanks man. Unfortunately I was not clear I need the vocals without fx. Can you re-up them without any eq/reverb/delay etc?
Cheers!
:mart:


Re: In the Morning
Reply #13 on: August 21, 2016, 16:17:01
MM,

Here it is minus effects.

Andrew


  • Mar T.
  • Senior Site Administrator
  • Michelin Starred Chef
  • *
  • *
  • Pay it forward! (watch that movie..)

    • 6501


    • 1658
    • Today at 10:19:27
    • Duiven
    • http://twitter.com/MartiMediaSC http://www.facebook.com/MartiMedia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEBmQkchurQ https://soundcloud.com/martimedia
  • more
Re: In the Morning
Reply #14 on: August 21, 2016, 16:23:38
Hey @Andrew Jezmund I still hear reverb.. Maybe you forgot to mute the reverb in the master bus?



xx
good morning this morning

Started by Rightly on Songs for review

4 Replies
276 Views
Last post March 21, 2019, 11:44:12
by Kellyanneg
xx
In the Morning

Started by DanJames on Songs for review

13 Replies
270 Views
Last post June 16, 2019, 14:20:10
by Jambrains
xx
Morning Star (New!)

Started by shatiks on Songs for review

9 Replies
421 Views
Last post March 05, 2018, 10:04:34
by Chris Spruit
xx
Good morning

Started by fischermans on The kitchen cafť

1 Replies
428 Views
Last post November 09, 2013, 10:35:09
by Dutchbeat
clip
Used the morning to do something different than songwriting

Started by fischermans on The kitchen cafť

6 Replies
388 Views
Last post February 14, 2016, 17:34:44
by Rachel_D