Inaudible - FAWM

Hi Kitcheners,

I hope that you are all well This is my first song contribution following @LePlongeur 's post regarding FAWM. It's past mid-February now and I hope that I'm not too late!  It's a bit different from how I usually write and I think it's the first time that a 'poem-song' ended up so long!
Let me know what you think See lyrics & link to the song below:

LINK: https://soundcloud.com/rachel_debattista/inaudible-poem-song

EDIT: link to yt video:

INAUDIBLE

(1)
Hovering the parts
living in the mind
to track down the fire
drizzling in the form of energy
inside a constant spiral

Drifting in a paddleboat
living on the seashore
in the search without a clue
of the real world

(CH)
But you make me smile.
Like I’ve never smiled before
You make me listen.
to a world full of unknowns
and hide from serenity
I could be falling
But I choose to stand
If you let me

(2)
Junctions in the road
Learning to maneuver
Edges with the
drops so deep
Whispering the tracks
Inaudible to the rest of those
Living in the heart of the street

Dissolving in the morning dew
Blurring out the side views
on the search without a clue
of the real world

(CH)
But you make me smile.
Like I’ve never smiled before
You make me listen.
in a world full of unknowns
and hide from serenity
I could be falling
But I choose to stand
If you let me

(Ending)
Closed eyes - see clearly
Open hands - May guide the way

Your smile and the silence that remains
- Secures the tides away

You are always just in time @Rachel_D
When needed we stretch February to include March but we would only do that for you of course.
At the end of the month I hope to be able to collect 14 songs to present to Kitchen radio.

I will listen to your song a little later, when I can give it my undivided attention!
To be continued......
Kind regards, Gus

@Rachel_D   - wonderful melody, clear lyrics that don't too much guessing and explaining.
Mixwise I could give some advice, but probably not needed for you at this point.
ThumbsUp

Sounds great @Rachel_D ! 

lovely song and melody well done

 
Beautiful

No news, @Rachel_D
Came back for an extra listen! That’s all.
I wish I’d have written this one.
Kind regards, Gus

Very sensitive and enjoyed, good work !!

@LePlongeur , @oorlab , @Mo , @revival-choir , @Goatrelated , @Sebzzz

Thanks so much for taking the time to listen, it means a lot that you delved a bit into my little world I really appreciate all of your comments ...I did a small youtube video (I added the link to the first post if you'd like to watch). I don't know if it happens to you too, but when I am writing a song I always see images as well in my head, ie I imagine the song visually as well. In the video I tried to choose images which were  close to the image/ meaning in my mind at the time of writing.

What a coincidence @Rachel_D
As only a couple of days ago I found your ‘perfect’ poem-song channel on you tube. And I decided to up your abonnees (subscribers) by a whopping 5%, I.e. myself.

Needless to say I love it to pieces.
Please go very kindly on your next one and only make that if you like to do it. There’s simply no fun if the tempo make you feel inadequate. And if you like doing it and you need a couple of extra weeks, that seems like a small price to pay.

I like your video a lot and it’s going to make an enormous difference on the radio. Smiley smiley.

I am in the process of doing something out of character.
I am going to withdraw one of my songs and substitute that with the one I’ll write tonight. In hindsight, I was not content with it. So out it goes.


The lyrics are done so nothing’s going to hold me back now.
To be continued..... I hope you will let us know what you think.....
Kind regards, Gus