• Lonely Fool
  • Started by irwin
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Lonely Fool
on: June 05, 2019, 19:16:08
Hi guys, this song is a collaboration I did with two of my friends and I am asking for some feedback.

https://soundcloud.com/jay-williams-productions/lonely-fool

Lonely Fool

©2019 Irwin Byron Abrigo


(First verse)

If anybody see my baby

Tell her that I'm feeling lonely

Cause not anyone

Can do the things she does

She keeps me lively

In the day time

Make's me groan in the night

But now that she's gone I really


(Pre chorus)

The room is still a room

A chair is still a chair

The bed still lies there

But if she's not here


(Chorus)

Iíll be at home like a lonely fool

Pretending to be cool

If she's not here to open the door

When I got home



(Second verse)

If anybody see my lady

Tell her that I'm going crazy

She said she's leaving

Miss understanding

I said baby don't you worry

I will be happy

But that was a lie

Cause now I really


(Pre chorus)

The room is still a room

A chair is still a chair

The bed still lies there

But if she's not here


(Chorus)

Iíll be at home like a lonely fool

Pretending to be cool

If she's not here to open the door

When I got home


(Bridge)

I donít want to be a lonely fool

Sitting alone in these lonely rooms

Since sheís been gone there been pain in my brain

Asking myself over and over again

Am I a fool (no) did all I had to do (Yes)

Then why sheís not in my presents

Why in my arms she is absent


(Pre chorus)

The room is still a room

A chair is still a chair

The bed still lies there

But if she's not here


(Chorus)

Iíll be at home like a lonely fool

Pretending to be cool

If she's not here to open the door

When I got home


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Re: Lonely Fool
Reply #1 on: June 06, 2019, 15:34:45
I like the lyrics and the vocals a lot. The backing track feels a bit rushed, though.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

 "In a world of robotic conformity, the only originality left in music is the imperfections" Eric Craptone

"Special thanks to Steve Gleason for making me who I am today." Leonard Scaper

Lenny's Tunes: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=540680

https://soundcloud.com/vincentgleason


Re: Lonely Fool
Reply #2 on: June 07, 2019, 23:31:03
« Last Edit: June 07, 2019, 23:32:43 by Mora Amaro La Loba »
Hi @irwin

I also liked the lyrics and the voice ... As for the music, I think it would need something ... Something that would bind it more to the voice, sometimes gives the feeling that the music is on one side and the voice on other side... Maybe the reverb ... I do not know.
I mention this from my point of view and thinking that it is a very interesting and atypical song
I did not know that to live I had to die so many times
My Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow
My Vimeo Songs of Thought channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moraamarolaloba
My Vimeo Downtempo channel:
https://vimeo.com/channels/moramarolalobadowntempo


Re: Lonely Fool
Reply #3 on: June 07, 2019, 23:55:19
loved the opening beat, then had to concentrate hard to try and hear the various composite parts as a song. Vocals are great, lyrics not bad either. I reckon that vocal melody would sound cool with some rhythmic Spanish guitar strumming.

Dan


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Re: Lonely Fool
Reply #4 on: June 08, 2019, 18:57:31
I like the lyrics and the vocals a lot. The backing track feels a bit rushed, though.

Yes Leonard, I do understand what you are saying, I thought so myself. Thanks for the comment.

Irwin


Re: Lonely Fool
Reply #5 on: June 09, 2019, 20:51:00
For my taste this is an absolute techno-fusion
A very interesting work
Although I think that the voice of the woman does not have the necessary effects to have joined more with the other instruments in the final mix
Very good work
Congratulations  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::


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Re: Lonely Fool
Reply #6 on: June 13, 2019, 15:15:20
Hi @irwin

I also liked the lyrics and the voice ... As for the music, I think it would need something ... Something that would bind it more to the voice, sometimes gives the feeling that the music is on one side and the voice on other side... Maybe the reverb ... I do not know.
I mention this from my point of view and thinking that it is a very interesting and atypical song

Thank you Mora , I do appreciate you taking the time and giving you input into my song.
I think I'll have another producer re-work the music.



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