• Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
  • Started by junemay
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Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
on: September 23, 2016, 21:16:00
Hi you all,

I am sorry for quite some time of silence and not participating that much in the kitchen talk. We have moved to another city and there were many other things to be sorted out... Now that I have my home studio setup again, I have finished a new song that I have been working on for quite some time called "Autumn Leaves". It was written about one year ago (in autumn obviously), one of the rare songs where I had the lyrics before I wrote the music (usually I do it the other way round...). I really would love to hear what you think about this one.

https://soundcloud.com/june_may/autumnleaves

We were sleeping so long. waiting for the first sunlight
We were dreaming alone, hoping for some warmer nights
And one morning in spring, we knew our time had come,
to step in to the unknown, the sun.

Once we'll be autumn leaves in the wind, dancing our final dance
Colorful we will fly, here ain't no second chance
goodbye, goodbye, waving goodbye

We learn sun and rain, are friends in their own ways.
They help us to grow, during warm summer days.
In mild summer nights, we dream about being free
to go whereever we want, there's a big world to see

And when winter comes, we will be long long gone,
The tree will remember our names, our kids will be waiting for the sun.


Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #1 on: September 23, 2016, 21:58:26
Hi @junemay. So polished and complete. Something about this makes me think of sixties music. Cannot put my finger on it. It feels uplifting, nothing like Autumn about endings; this song feels more about beginnings. My only complaint: it is not Autumn yet...still 88F here in NYC!


Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #2 on: September 24, 2016, 00:49:00
It's cold in Dublin (well, and strangely warm in the afternoons... go figure)... so I can identify..

Agree about the 60s folky feel.. Great production as always. Gorgeous vocals.

The only thing I noted as not grabbing me (and I am completely not qualified to comment on this so please forgive me) was the drum track... it struck me as needing a bit more "bite".. Yes, that's a technical term I'm sure!!!

Great to hear a new song from you..



Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #3 on: September 24, 2016, 01:00:45
Hi @junemay ,

It’s great to listen to a new song of yours :) I love your instrumental. I like the way it starts – I think it is a great intro followed by a really beautiful vocal. I loved the vocal timbre and harmonies. I also like the imagery of the dancing leaves and the mood and sense of freedom / discovery/ magic and dreams. It's interesting that you looked at Autumn through a different perspective (just as @Olbigead pointed out earlier).

There’s just one thing which I’m just not sure about with respect to the lyrics: The chorus starts with the word ‘Once’ which is generally used to indicate a moment that happened in the past, but then it is followed by ‘we’ll’ which suggests something happening in the future. I’m not sure whether this was done on purpose or not.

Thanks for sharing your song. I really enjoyed listening to your piece :)
Karma for you :)
Rachel  ::Rachel::
https://.com/rachel_debattista


Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #4 on: September 24, 2016, 11:43:16
Hi Junemay,

The lyrics to this song are lovely.  And the melody you have constructed around the lyrics is equally lovely.  If I were to offer a critique, it is that the production feels almost a bit too polished to me.  As I listen to this song, I imagine something more natural sounding, less of that polished studio sound.  But that's nitpicking. 

Someone mentioned the "sixties" feel.  I get an early 70s vibe off this one.


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Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #5 on: September 24, 2016, 14:07:28
a lovely song, fantastic vocals!

some nitpicking  ;D ;D ;D ;D, some of the drums (rimshots), those double rimshots doesn't really work for me, sort of stops the beautiful flow here and there in my opinion, but i think that is just me  ;D ;D ;D ;D

but for the rest it all sounds great  ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb:: ::thumb::
me, myself, and Pie


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Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #6 on: September 25, 2016, 10:42:02
As a couple of other comments have mentioned - this has a real 60's feel to it.

The vocals have a real pure sound to them and maybe that's what give it the 60s feel? The instrumentation though is maybe too clinical but I don't know enough to know whether that's in the mix or the way the instruments are programmed or played.

I agree with @Rachel_D re the lyrics - maybe rather than "once we'll" you could use "soon we'll be" or if it's all in the past "once we were"

A nice song!

cheers

Jurgen


Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #7 on: September 27, 2016, 20:25:23
Hi you all,

thanks for your time and for listening, highly appreciated!

@Dutchbeat: thanks for pointing me to the double rimshots... I think I got "colorblind" and did not notice that they were a bit too much. Took them out now.
@Rachel_D, @jurgen: thanks for pointing me to the "once" thing. I am not a native speaker so I don't know... my understanding (from Googling...) is that if something is happening just once in a lifetime (as here) you can use it with out a "past" feeling to it. If the future "once we'll be" is completely correct, I don't know... (also, I could not change it since Carina is ~500km away...)

Regarding the polished feel: well, as you know, the guitars are all fake and I agree the song would benefit from some real guitars which are a bit more dirty... (if you have some time go ahead ;-)

Best and thanks again!

Fabian


Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #8 on: September 28, 2016, 17:43:24
Wow!Junemay!    Beautiful track!    Love the vocals and the overall production.
Well done!
EB


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Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #9 on: September 30, 2016, 01:33:54
Hey @junemay , I love your productions.. Again a wonderful instrumental Fabian and beautiful vocals/harmonies Carina!
I know I keep noticing this one single suggestion, but again I seem to hear a compressor/limiter working too hard on the main mix (sounds like it's overdriving at the loudest parts of the song)... But that's really the only suggestion.. Let's check that with @Jambrains (my second pair of ears).. Yohan, can you identify what I mean or is it just me?
Beautiful work guys!!
Cheers! :mart:
I'm proud of this track, check it out! https://soundcloud.com/martimedia/dreams


Re: Long time - New Song Autumn Leaves
Reply #10 on: September 30, 2016, 21:07:59
Hi @eblossman, hi @Mar T.

Thanks to both of you. Great to read that you like this song.

@Mar T. In fact I am always thinking bout you when setting the limiter parameters and I thought I managed this time to get the sweet spot... will try once more ;-)

Best and have a great weekend!

Fabian



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